Frustrated

[Lady86]

Hello all. I'm having some bad thoughts about smoking. It's so incredibly hard living and being around smokers all the time !!! I live with three people, all smokers. We had an agreement when I was a smoker that we only smoke in the garage during winter. It's been nice for the last month and they haven't made any effort to go outside. This was a luxury not a privilege and to only be used as little as possible. I chill in the garage and hang out with my dog and the gym equipment is in there. They say they're proud of me and I'm doing so good yet I feel so disrespected when they don't even try to go out. Last year when I mentioned this to them they were upset and rude to me. And here we are again this year. I know it's a weak way to think but a part of me is saying if you can't beat them join them. I feel so alone

sometimes. Non smokers don't really care about the constant struggle and vigilance I must retain and I don't really know what smoker's think around me   . I know I won't smoke but it's easy to get rattled even after a year quit. Anyway thanks for reading this. Stay strong. 

[kristen-9-7-15]

I don’t think non-smokers necessarily don’t care. It’s just that they don’t understand. How could they? They’ve never been through it.  As for smokers. They’re thinking I wish I can quit just like Lady86. They are jealous of you. No doubt!  I can’t image how difficult quitting can be while living with smokers. But it can be done as you are living proof! Great job on your almost year quit!

[kristen-9-7-15]

Correction..... you’re OVER a year quit! Even better. Keep it up!

[KMC56]

I as well lived with smokers while I was quitting.  Of course I voiced my concerns with them smoking while I was quitting.  It was my daughter that made the statement, that it was me that was changing...not them.  True enough, I refrained early on not to be around them while they were smoking outside on the deck.  

Unfortunately,  they still smoke, and I'm two years free...and I can socialize with them again (weather permitting) on the deck.  ..and I can socialize with others that are smoking, and am very comfortable when they excuse themselves while in restraunts...I'm proud of those moments and cherish my quit.

You're not missing a thing..and you know this...and can overcome this!

Kathy

[YoungAtHeart]

Sorry you are feeling so outnumbered!    I would at least ask them to go outside when you are in the garage.  The weather is nicer now and no reason they can't. When you are in there, can you open the door to let the accumulated smoke out?   Maybe you could treat them all to pizza night and casually mention you can do it with your cigarette savings?  They might feel some guilt from that for not treating you so well?

It might be helpful to list all the GOOD things about not smoking just to remind yourself.  #1 on your list might be that YOU probably won't be the one attached to an oxygen tank 24/7!

Hang in there.

Nancy

[stmand92]

I lived with four smokers at the time I quit and all but 2 of my siblings smoked and my friends smoked. There was no getting around it but absolutely no one was allowed to smoke anywhere indoors. I didn't even smoke indoors when I was a smoker. If it is your home then enforce they stay outside. It's hard but in some weird way I feel like my being around it strengthened me. If I can be around it everyday and still stay true to my quit, then I was stronger than I thought. I do the same with eating certain things, I feel like i crave it more when I try to not have it around. You will stay committed, just be true to yourself!

[elvan]

It's really good to hear from you.  I'm sorry that you are surrounded by people who are so addicted that they have lost any sense of consideration for you.  You cleaned your lungs out, you do not need to be inhaling their waste products.  I think YoungAtHeart‌'s suggestion was interesting but if I were you I would consider getting a big fan to turn on when you are out there, to make the smoke go outside.  You could tell them that you bought THAT with your savings from not smoking.  Sorry but I would not reward them with pizza.  I would ask them to PLEASE smoke outside when the weather permits...maybe even set up a smoking area OUT of the garage.  

Glad that you are not smoking over it...they smoke because they have to, not because they want to...they just don't recognize that.

Really nice to hear from you...

Ellen

[crazymama_Lori]

sometimes you can't fight city hall.  sounds like you've expressed to them that it would be appreciated that they would smoke outside and they ignored you.  So I would say stick vicks under your nose, use the gym equipment when they're not around, play with your dog outside of the garage where there's fresh air and just keep your distance.  that's if moving is totally out of the question.  It's unfortunate that they can't compromise, but sometimes that's just the way it is.  I've had a few situations happen in my life also over the past few years with conflicts with people and they simply cannot take my word for something as the truth or even see or accept my way of thinking.  So I just simply stated my position and moved on and adapted to the situation.  You're doing fantastic.  A year quit is huge.  Just be glad you're not scrambling for that lighter and spending all that money and time puffing away on those things that do absolutely nothing for you in the first place.

[GyorgyiM]

I understand your frustrations......but when you wake up each day.....take a deep breath....and smile.

Unfortunately one day your roommates won't be as fortunate as you.............

You can't change them......but YOU can take pity and just walk away .....

Your life will not always be the way it is NOW......things will move on....

You are and will move on.......smoke free...........and smiling.

Every "moment" counts.....

[maryfreecig]

   It was once suggested to me that when I or (addicts for that matter) get down, blue, in the dumps that it might be time to grow. It was also suggested to me that I could improve my spirits by doing something that once worked but that I had'nt tried in a long time, or try something new. 

   I still have to pull my self out of the dumps at times in various ways. Reasons to feel blue come and go. They don't last forever and they don't stay away forever.

   Thanks for sharing and congrats on your smobriety. 

[Kbloodless]

I agree I think they’re jealous, internally upset they haven’t quit, or they don’t care, or they specifically want u to fail because they like to be right or mean. Some people hate xhange. But it doesn’t matter what they think, do you feel better? Isn’t it nice not having a heavy chest anymore? My fiancé smokes saying he quit, it’s so hard cause I deal with is withdrawal every single week cause he smokes at least three cigs a week and once in a while none. I think it makes him grumpy that bugs me and triggers me and then I want a spliff and I just remeber the heavy chest, the crazy addiction and how icky that was, and I don’t. You got this! What you think matters more than anyone else, even me! Promise! It might be time to find nonsmoker roomies for next year if it’s this frustrating and triggering. Don’t join them, join people on the path you’re going down of change and health! It would be easier to hang with ur smoking friends if your house didn’t smell like smoke.

[Giulia]

Hello Lady, just jumping in to see how you're doing.  Hope you're still smoke-free.  If not.... come on baaaack!