For Those in No Man's Land

[SuzyQ411]

A few of us have tossed around the idea of starting a supportive self-help group for those in the period of our quits referred to as "No Man's Land" : a time in the quit when folks are very susceptible to relapse.

After giving this much thought, it was decided to start out with an open blog post, inviting those in this period of their quits to post on the blog each day as to how things are going for us:  A spot to share what's working for us and a "safe place" to post our struggles.

The intent will also be to follow up with NML "members" who don't post for a few days to see how they are going; our attempt to not let anyone fall between the cracks.

It's also though that by doing this on an "open" blog vs. a group, that we may also receive supportive and helpful input from those better established in their quits, to urge us on.

If enough should become active participants, we could then re-visit the group option.

For those not familiar with "No Man's Land" I have included a blog post written by Ron Maxey in 2002: 

No Mans Land Days 30 to 130 (approximate)  

Hope you will join us!

[SuzyQ411]

After my recent relapse at approximately 110 days into my quit, I must admit I feel a bit nervous hitting my current 50 days smoke-free. I also struggle a bit with the fact that the relapse came after my having "just one" cigarette about 75 days into that quit. While on one-hand I am proud of my current accomplishment, on the other hand I am scared I will fail again. I am hopeful that by "banding together" with others in this area of quit known as "No Man's Land" that my commitment to NOPE will successfully bring myself to the other side. 

[YoungAtHeart]

As long as you acknowledge and accept as absolute truth that there is never, ever (not even years down the road!) going to be such a thing as "just one," you will be forever successful.  It may not happen right away, but as time passes, another will be smoked, and then another and then............until you are a full-time smoker again.  It has gotten many before you who haven't learned, and probably will get more down the road.

It is addiction's only rule. 

TRUTH!

Nancy

[AnnetteMM]

There used to be a weekly "check-in" for those in NML or in between NML and the one year mark. I looked forward to that when I was in the desert.

[alissastump]

I'm not there yet (but getting close!).  I think it would be great! 

[SuzyQ411]

Thank you so much YoungAtHeart‌ for your cherished input! And I agree about the required commitment to NOPE (Not One Puff Ever), NMW (No Matter What). I n my recent quit I had not accepted that i would NEVER be able to smoke again and that certainly came around and "bit my tail."

[SuzyQ411]

Thanks so much for your post AnnetteMM‌ and for the information about the check in site for those between NML and the one year mark! I think the latter would also be of great benefit. Also thank you for your example to we newbies with your fantastic quit!!

[SuzyQ411]

Congratulations alissastump‌ on your 19 days smoke free!! And what a plateful you have with all those kids PLUS work! We would be most happy to have you join us during your time in the desert as well. In the meantime, please keep blogging, doing your daily pledge to not smoke, and posting on shout your stats!! (Even if it means doing it during your only alone time in the bathroom, lol) 

I give you a lot of credit and support and will be watching for/responding to your posts ~Suzy

[Christine13]

I'm not there yet either, but what a great post!!  NML is a scary place to be.

[SuzyQ411]

Christine13‌ ~ Good to see you here! I applaud you on your ongoing efforts to become smoke-free and congratulate you on your current 16 days of freedom! Hang in there. Keep at it. Stay connected.

[Swanbird]

Oh my goodness  111 days that scares the heck out of me!  You are almost have way to that.  I had one cigarette after my first week of the quit but I was on Chantix.  That was a miracle drug for me.  I never ever had a craving it was just the mental side of it.  Last few days have been stressful but still didn't smoke but cheat with nic gum on those very stressful days.  It seems to really help and I know I would be smoking like crazy if i didn't have that crutch.

[SuzyQ411]

I'm thankful for nicotine gum as a back-up. Using it sparingly helps keep me from running out for cigs at times, I must be honest. But I think the deal is that a person's usual cigarette consumption cannot be replaced with an nrt or it defeats the purpose- just my opinion. I also suggest the gum be cut in half to lessen the nicotine intake. I am so happy for you for the successful quit you have going on, by the way... you are over two months quit!! Hooray! 

Great to see you posting on this blog 🙂 

[Swanbird]

Yes 73 days.  Yesterday was a rough day in life and just was feeling bad all the way around and just wanted to sit down at the end of the day and have a smoke.  But I thought about what you said in your previous post and did not.  I did have a piece of gum which got me through once again.  See how today goes not in a good spot but I still don't have the physical craving but the mental one.  i just have to tell myself it won't help it'll just make things worse.  

[SuzyQ411]

I recall at the time of my recent relapse feeling just like you are now. Unfortunately, that first cigarette did not bring the relief I'd expected. So, I went out and bought a pack. And, That's the trouble with these nasty buggers--they travel in packs. One is never enough. I smoked for almost two weeks before I finally chose to get back down to the business of quitting. And, I must add, I almost DOUBLED what I'd been smoking before the initial quit.

I'm late getting online today due to church and so on so pray you are still hanging in there..

Someone--I think it was Giulia‌ who posted a quit technique which is really helping for me. It involves choosing a precious article to use sort of as collateral for your quit. Can you re-post that article on this thread Giulia? And, if you didn't post that can you help us find out who did? I think it may be of help to Swanbird. Once we track it down Swanbird, I will share what my response to this great post was. In the meantime, hang in there! Drink cold water. Do deep breathing. Find a diversion. Stay with you quit and protect it at all costs. I care. I want your quit to be successful for you!

You chose to quit for one or more reasons. Why did you quit? Write than down and keep that paper with you. Will get back to you again soon~ Suzy

P.S. KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY 

[Giulia]

I think the post to which you're referring is:  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2013/09/10/how-precious-is-your-quit?sr=search&searchId=b5b794a2-bb1c-44b0-a1b5-6...‌ SuzyQ411‌

[SuzyQ411]

Yes! That's it!! Bless your heart!! Its been a quit-saver for me!!

For Swanbird‌ and for others  in No Man's Land--or in any stage of your quit for that matter, I recommend your reading Giulia‌ 's post below :/blogs/Giulia-blog/2013/09/10/how-precious-is-your-quit 

Although I didn't purchase my "reality object" but chose a precious one gifted to me, the premise is the same. For me, this is working. Will write more on this later. 

[Giulia]

Please do.  And speak of this gifted item that you have made your quit token.  

[Swanbird]

Thank you!  I'm at day 80 just been so busy lately haven't been able to go on.  50 days to go to get out of NML!

[Swanbird]

Thank you!

[SuzyQ411]

Hi Swanbird‌ Congrats on 80 days smoke free!! You are a winner for sure! Others have said the NML generally extends from day #30 to day #130, yet note that this is an approximate. That for some it doesn't last this long while for others it may last a bit longer. I'm at Day #61 and, like you, can't wait to get out of this part of the quit stage.

[SuzyQ411]

Will actually be posting a picture of it with the post. Am in the rough stages of the post at this time. Leave to see family in eastern Tennessee on the 11th so won't have it completed and posted until after I get back on the 17th.. But, it all revolves around your post above (and I will be giving you credit for what's become the cornerstone of this quit!!) ~Suzy

[Giulia]

Looking forward to it!  Safe travels.  Hope none of your family were affected by the tornadoes.

[SuzyQ411]

Thanks Giulia‌ for your concern on my family in TN  They are fine, they live about 4 hrs away from Nashville, are surrounded by mountains and thus reportedly protected from such weather. They are in Johnson City and in Fall Branch. My heart still aches for those affected by that terrible, terrible event! I hesitated about flying with the corona virus spreading since I will be in 4 airports and (3 planes) each way due to necessary connections from my rural part of northern New York State but I was finally able to scrounge up some good filtrated masks through my medical provider. Also, my tickets were a special deal and cheap AND therefore non-refundable! Busy getting feeders for my cat and making packing lists and doing last minute shopping...whew! But, I will get to see my son and his family which includes my 2 yo great-grandson whom I've only seen once, when my grand-daughter visited me last summer!! BTW, the money I saved from not smoking during my first failed attempt of four months paid for the plane tickets!!

[Giulia]

Ah Johnson City.... GORGEOUS area!  Glad all are fine.  Used to pass through that way coming from Asheville to TN when I 40 was closed FOREVER due to the rock slide and we  had to go up through Johnson city on 26 to head back down on 81.  Have fun with them all.  BTW masks do not protect you FROM the virus. 

"CDC does not recommend that people who are well wear a facemask to protect themselves from respiratory illnesses, including COVID-19. You should only wear a mask if a healthcare professional recommends it. A facemask should be used by people who have COVID-19 and are showing symptoms. This is to protect others from the risk of getting infected. The use of facemasks also is crucial for health workers and other people who are taking care of someone infected with COVID-19 in close settings (at home or in a health care facility)."  (2019-nCoV Frequently Asked Questions and Answers | CDC )

[SuzyQ411]

Appreciate input on masks Giulia‌  but I am considered to be at health risk and was able to get the super filtration cone-type from my medical provider so that's additional prevention for me. This will be my first trip to Tennessee  and I really look forward to it!  My oldest son Brian and wife Jean retired and settled in just after the holidays. Their daughter Chelsea, her fiance' Richard and their now 2 year old Cooper were already there as Richard is a native Tennessean(?) or whatever,,,lol..

[Giulia]

Interesting.  Well welcome to Tennessee Suzy when you get here..

[Swanbird]

I bought masks just in case.  I wouldn't hesitate to wear a mask especially if flying.  Many of us smokers have lungs that could seriously put us in jeopardy of catching the corona virus.  Be safe and have fun!

[Swanbird]

I can't believe I am two days out of NML!  I know the days are subjective and I'm not looking towards an automatic thing but there's just something about it mentally that I will be glad to move on from it!  Hallelujah!

[SuzyQ411]

Way to go @ Swanbird!!  I am so happy for you and appreciate your adding this great piece of news to this blog post.

 If the "exit" for me comes at 130 days, then I just have 21 days -- as in 3 weeks --  to get there. I will be honest that I still have some tough days but I can truly say they get farther and farther apart the longer I move on in this quit. 

I am still using Stage 2 patches (14 mg) and do have nico-gum and nico-mints as back-up but don't use them as often anymore unless I'm into one of those rare but relentless days. I will mention that clove gum and my small wooden cross have become my most effective go- to's during this quit. 

I haven't kept up with doing NML blogs because (1) I'm in the midst of the desert myself and feel I have nothing to offer others (2) There hasn't been much of a response~

Again, I am sooo happy for your progress and do hope you will stay in touch

~ Suzy