I told myself that I was going to write a blog post everyday for each day that I didn't smoke. I missed a day. lol. It makes me feel sorta poopie when I don't follow through with the things I say I am going to do(good grammar there). So, you'd think I'd learn to sorta lower the bar on my expectations since I am a.d.d. and never follow through on the things I say I am going to(betterish grammar).
So far... nope. It seems like every fopish faliure is followed be an even bigger proclaimation than the first in order to distract myself and others from the giant boo-boo's that I create.
That is why this time, I am going to write two blogs a day, start and then quit heroin, go running, eat better, get a tattoo on my forehead that reads, "QUITTER" and learn to fly.
I kid.
I am lowering the bar. Not with quitting smoking. I already know I am done with that and although it is still one day at a time, I don't even have a desire to puff anymore. I am lowering the bar on my own expectations. (wow loud thunder out of the blue just shook the house... i almost pooped myself) Even my ability to take things one day at a time will be diced and chopped into: This day, this hour, this minute... This moment.
In essence I am throwing myself a bone. I have ridiculous expectations on myself that I don't even have for anyone else. I allow every one in my life the right to make mistakes, to learn and grow. Yet when it comes to me I really AM my worst enemy... This is blowing my mind guys(and gals).
I almost didn't come back to this group because I missed a day posting. Yup, I'm a moron sometimes.
Take a moment today. When was the last time you let yourself live? How long has it been since you went and did something without the fear? If you answer, "Today.", well then bless you. If you are like me and you feel like you just pulled your head out of your own... Opaque, oxygenless, stinky chamber, then join me today in freedom. As you take that free'r breath let it be sybmolic of the that free'r life as well.
One step at a time.
You know people say, "Baby steps.", like this makes it easier. When an actual baby is making it's first 'baby steps' it is a momentous achievement. No one ever nods their head in a condecending manner and says, "Yup, thats how you do it."
Those 'baby steps' are the hardest steps the baby will ever have to take(barring an unfortunate stair accident... just sayin). The baby is learning it's own strength and equilibrium and they fall down all the bleepin time. They constantly need something to hold on to, they come to a wavering standstill at times, Their goals are relatively short hops from mommy to daddy at first.
No one plunks their baby down at one endzone, walks down to the other side of the field and says, "Okay, just like that."
Now somebody get me a fresh diaper!
