I've been AWOL just a bit lately, but I'm still here and still smoke-free. Today is my 10th day.
So, I found the first 6 days pretty comfortable. Then, something changed. It felt as if the first days got the benefit of the novelty, you know? It's something very new NOT to smoke. There's even an adrenaline rush that went with it for me and helped keep me motivated and moving through those days.
Then, I got bored. It wasn't a novelty after around 6 days. It was just a pain in the rear. A boring, annoying, pain.
And with that change came another change: the grumps. I was impatient, so short-tempered, and not great company. Combine that with a second wave of fogginess, and the last few days have been . . . interesting.
I drove to an appointment on Tuesday morning that I was early for. Like, two days early. In a fit of frustration, I basically told my daughter that, if she doesn't learn to load the dishwasher correctly, she's going to have a rotten domestic life.
And then there was the night I tried to decide which pasta to make to go with the ravioli. And my sweet husband was trying to help me, gently, out of the conundrum without poking the beast: "But, isn't ravioli a, um, pasta already? Are you sure you want another pasta to go with our...pasta? It's okay if you do. Just checking."
But I kept walking. Twenty minutes with the dogs, every evening. I keep meditating and doing pilates. I keep buying those darned Almond Joy Easter eggs. It all helps. (Well, maybe not the Almond Joy eggs. They're just ridiculously good.) I'm proud, even as I know not to be complacent. Proud, but alert and mindful, worried that some tsunami urge is on my heels, waiting for me to get too confident, so it can take me by complete surprise and sink my proud little ship.
No way. You're not getting my proud little ship.
Today is my first reward day, which I mentioned in a previous post. Hair appointment early, then a massage this evening. In between, I'll kick around with my supportive husband, who is also off work today. It's rare that we get a whole, kid-free day together. I'm looking forward to it.
I've been reading posts and there's a lot going on: surgeries; big, challenging, quit-testing trips; several struggles for new quitters, etc. Just wanted to say that you've all been on my mind, even as I've been a little quieter. Sending you good vibes and praying for healing and success.
Happy Friday! -- Dawn
