I've tried quitting smoking before. I barely lasted 72 hours on two separate occasions. It was just so easy to fall back into a fiending of that cloud snack -whether if it was in the morning, after a meal, while cooking, etc.
But today, I think I truly made an active decision to quit. With only 12 dollars left in my wallet, I had to choose between a takeout meal or an overpriced pack of cigarettes at the nearest corner store. I chose the beef fried rice. As soon as I finished my meal I already regretted my decision, as I was craving a cigarette tremendously. I finally was able to face the fact that I am truly an addict. But after waiting out the craving, I felt a little better about myself.
Already I am feeling the effects -fatigue, extreme fatigue...I can already smell a little better, and I do not like what I can smell. Now that there's no immediate tobacco odor lingering in my mouth, I can finally get a whiff of the years of cigarette smoke that's camped in my gums. I have seemed to invite this guest every day at every hour for the past five years of my life, and now I'm having the most difficult time trying to evict this tenant that I've payed to stay in my jawhouse project.
i'm not going to lie. It could be as early as tomorrow when I get another cigarette. I could easily give in like I have in my past attempts. But there is a little bit of a different situation this time. I'm broke. I'm not getting my check/loan until this weekend.
On top of that, I'm leaving New York City and relocating to Seattle, WA for another job. I'll be leaving my colleagues, friends, and many other things that I love about NYC. I still haven't even packed yet and I have a plethora of items that I need to get rid of before I leave. My stress level is at an ultimate high right now and I can't say how long I'm going to last without giving in. But I will at least have to suffer through it for another 36 more hours.
Third time's the charm right?
