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Share your quitting journey

Final Count Down.

CarynS
Member
1 8 148

Warning, not a positive post:

I've been thinking about how to write this post for about two weeks. I didnt want to scare anyone on their journey, and I didnt want anyone to tell me i just didnt find my quit yet. Send hugs, smiley, and eat a pear slice...

February 28 2019 I got the flu and quit cold turkey and it was a breeze! After gaining 30 lbs in 6 months though, I learned that I developed hypothyroidism. I also have IBS now, and had to start taking SSRI's for my gut last month, my hormones started raging and I'm now pretty unhealthy since starting my quitting journey.

I have white knuckled this quit for months, determined to see this through, even fat, sick and miserable.

I was young, happy, funny, energetic, full of life and seemingly healthy when I quit. Everyday is a struggle of feeling bad now. I know we would think lung disease is bad, as is cancer, copd, etc, but at what cost am I doing this for me? At what value to my daily existence? I exercised, ate healthy, yoga, hiked and ran before I quit, now im sick, bloated and in gut pain all the time.

I am having a hard time convincing myself this was the best thing I could have done for my life, health and happiness. But it's done now, no sense in wasting this for nothing.

The answer is just dont give up, it'll get better, good job on a year, NOPE and all of the things. I'm sure I would say the same. The idea of bothering to smoke now seems just silly, but at what cost did I do this?

I know this isn't the norm, but I fell apart and it sucks. This is nothing like I thought my 1 year celebration post was going to sound like.

8 Comments
YoungAtHeart
Member

I am so very sorry to read of your situation and would not think to send you hugs, a smiley or (Heaven forbid) pear slices

I can only hope that they can get medications balanced to alleviate the worst of the symptoms and that you get back to your normal self.

One thing I might add is that these conditions might have happened even if you had continued to smoke - and you also would be coughing, would smell like a dirty ashtray, feel like an outcast and be spending lots of money on something that was guaranteed to make you sicker (or worse).

I will pray that the medical profession can get you straightened out with medications to alleviate your discomfort.  Hang in there and give them a chance to work on it all.

OK -  can't resist - sending you a hug, anyway!  (((((((((((((Caryn)))))))))))))))))

Nancy

Mandolinrain
Member

Oh gosh~ first of all, know that you are not alone. All quits are different and while some go much easier for others, some are harder as well. You are so smart by sticking through this because I promise you, all of your hard work was NOT for nothing. Your time to get over the worst of the hump is coming and seeing that you recognize it is the first part in making it happen.

( I  also have IBS and Diverticulosis) I found a very helpful book called "Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Diverticulosis , a self-help plan", by Shirley Trickett. I recently bought this at Barnes and Noble and its very good. I recommend it. I also am a huge fan of OMAD diet/Intermittant Fasting ( IF) . What a life saver it has been for me. You can look at many youtube videos on OMAD and IF. and see if it sounds like something you may want to try. It has truly been the best life style change I have EVER done other than quitting smoking.

The other thing is, focus on all the good you are doing for yourself...the discipline it has taken for you to quit smoking is admirable.

Okay, so I'm sending a hug anyway, cause thats me....and a prayer that you feel some peace about this and that answers you need will be provided and that you will not miss the answer. I can only suggest what worked and helped me. I am glad you came here and blogged. We are ALL here for you , don't ever feel alone

sweetplt
Member

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s CarynS I am listening to you...and won’t send a pear slice...all I can say from the bottom of my heart is I am sorry this is happening...just don’t know what to say...sending out some good vibes...Colleen 

Barbscloud
Member

Ditto.   I experienced the same thing and it's not easy.  I've battled my weight my whole life and lost weigh intentionally prior to smoking.   I kept gaining weight and was told repeatedly not to worry about it and it's better than smoking.  

So I quit talking about it.   After a year I decided something was wrong and contacted my doctor.  I was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism (I already had IBS) on the day  I celebrated my one year anniversary.  I have not been able to lose any of this weigh and it's quite depressing.  I exercised prior to quitting and still do.   My quit was very emotional for me,  not physical, and unbeknownst to me my thyroid was contributing to that also.  I had a rough time moving forward.  

Here's one of my posts about it.  It's not uncommon to develop hypothyroidism within the first year or two of quitting smoking.  There are some others on this site that this has also happened to.  Do a search on hypothyroidism.  

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/206105-re-quitting-and-hypothyroidism?commentID=206105?sr... 

I've posted this before.  Having struggled with my weigh my entire life it's probably the one thing that could cause me to smoke again.  Even though I don't intend to.  

That being said, congrats on your one year smoke free.   It's not easy and certainly something you should be proud about accomplishing.  Stay the course.

Barb

CarynS
Member

Thanks guys. As a clinician, I have pretty good insight to my new- onset hypothyroidism and IBS. I've done a few elimination diets and I'm sure it'll  get figured out. I had posted here before once I did the research on the increased risk of hypothyroidism following smoking cessation. 

None the less, it still has effected me and I still dont have me under control. 

I know to stay the course, it's hard when you dont have the chance to reap the rewards of the work it took to be smoke free for a full miserable year. It feels pretty pointless. Maybe next month or the month after...

Anyway thanks for the hugs and recommendations, they're my fav

Barbscloud
Member

Sorry, didn't realize you posted about it before.  Didn't mean to waste your time or mine for that matter.

Barb

CarynS
Member

Relax

Giulia
Member

And despite it all, here you are with a fantastic ONE YEAR QUIT.  May you rejoice in your steadfastness today.  I am. Just added you to the /blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/06/18/elders-list-ao-december-7-2016?sr=search&searchId=6ee06da7-203e-4ba6-b...‌  Huge Kudos!

About the Author
Healthcare worker, long term semi-closet smoker. I've quit a ton of times and do fine for 3-4 months and always go back. I accidentally quit cold Turkey this 2/28 with the flu and figured I'd try it. Other than MAJOR brain fog, I dont really have any cravings... need to get past 4 months so here to make friends with those that survived.