Fighting like crazy to get back here

[elvan]

It has been one thing after another since the beginning of December and I am really trying to get back to EX.  I have been so sick and so frustrated because the docs don't know what to do...I am using the nebulizer regularly, I am on high doses of prednisone, my arms are covered with skin tears and bruises from the prednisone, and whenever I fall asleep, I have yet another coughing fit.  The coughing is so violent and relentless that it is causing all kinds of associated pain.  My throat is purple...likely from the coughing.  I am taking antibiotics, using inhalers as instructed, drinking literally gallons of juices and TRYING to get some energy back.  I think the Holidays just about took me out this year.  My computer started acting up first and then our modem needed to be replaced and set up and activated and then all of the upper respiratory symptoms started hitting...or else maybe they started first.  I really don't even KNOW any more, it's kind of a which came first, the chicken or the egg thing.  I have been doing as much as I can to let people here know that I am alive...my family looks so depressed when they ask how I am...I think it's pretty obvious.  I did choose to spend Christmas Day at home, in my pajamas. That might have been one of my smarter decisions.   Today is my oldest daughter's birthday...she is in NY, our youngest is here visiting so we are having a birthday party for her sister...homemade lasagna and garlic bread and cream puffs for dessert.  She wanted to learn to make cream puffs last night so we did them and she is taking some back with her when she leaves on Saturday.

Unless I completely fall apart, I am planning to work Saturday.  I have an echocardiogram tomorrow and then an appointment with my rheumatologist on Monday and my pulmonologist the FOLLOWING Monday.  You KNOW you are getting old when your calendar is filled with reminders for medical appointments.  I am going to take a shower and then we will eat dinner.  I am hoping the shower helps my coughing.  My oxygen saturations are in the mid to high 90's and I have listened to my chest, it is clear, just tight feeling when I cough.

I love you all and I thank you so much for all of the prayers and the messages, I will get back here as soon as I possibly can.  I will feel a thousand times better just doing THAT.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Love,

Ellen

[Mandolinrain]

Thinking of you and keeping you in prayers Ellen. Much love your way.

[Sootie]

Dearest Ellen---I did not know you were under the weather.....so sorry to hear this!!! You are now going into my prayers for a speedy recovery. Try to take it easy....I KNOW you and Nancy have a problem with that......but days in pajamas are actually a very good thing!  I try to do one maybe once a month......stay in pajamas, read, nap, veg, eat "bad" stuff..........I call them mental health days!!!!

Be Well.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Hugs. Do roll the right way. Don't roll the wrong way.

[TW517]

Love you and miss you!  Take good care of yourself so you can come back healthy!

[Strudel]

Oh Ellen - it is just too much! I I am sending a big hug - and the prayers never stop. Please take care of YOU! Love you!

[shashort]

Awe Ellen so sorry you are under the weather.  Know I always think of you and praying you start feelong better soon my dear.  Shew do I ever know the feeling of calendar full of Dr appts. lol  Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs your way.

[YoungAtHeart]

Into each life some rain must fall (but in your case, it seems to be followed by thunderstorms, downpours and flooding)!

Feel better!  You are missed, but we'd rather have you back feeling "chipper" again!

[Daniela2016]

Take care dear friend, we love you, we pray for you back in better shape.  Maybe too early to go back to work?  You know best, and you have our support either way.

Feel better soon dear lady @elvan!

Much love to you

D

[vanlil]

Ellen - enough already.  Listen to your "instincts" more.  I love hearing about your pajama day...………..you should do that more often.  Stop pushing yourself so hard! You are a child of God - nothing will hurt you!

[A.N.N.]

Ellen,

I hope you are feeling better soon. It sucks to be that sick!

[indingrl]

God loves you Ellen and so do i-and i miss you so much-thank you for update and please take care of you-prayers lifted for you in Lord Jesus name amen

[Giulia]

Fighting like crazy in our prayers for you to get back here.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I have missed you being here.  I am glad you were able to stop by and give us an update.  I hope you get better soon.  Take care of yourself.  Have a good night. 

[Jennifer-Quit]

Missing you Elllen.  Keeping you in my prayers.

[Posamari]

Take your time in getting well..

Meaning......

Don't rush it. If need be take more time off work.

You need to get your strength back, another reason why you are coughing so much in evening. 

I swear by strong Echinacea tea with lots honey and lemon for cough. Perhaps try and see how it works for you ?

[MarilynH]

It's really good to hear from you Ellen please don't worry about us here at Ex just concentrate on getting well and for goodness sakes don't be concerned about working on Saturday unless you're at least feeling 75 % better otherwise you'll probably set yourself back into feeling even worse so take care of yourself XO....

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Continued prayers for you, Ellen. I have terrible coughing fits, too. I use lidocaine during the day and codeine cough syrup at bedtime. I also use salt water rinses, and of course, nebulizers and inhalers. A hot shower may help as well as a humidifier (Very clean.) I hope you feel better soon!

[SimplySheri]

Prayers for you, Ellen, that you feel better, heal well, and find peace within the storm        Much love     

[maryfreecig]

Thanks for putting in extra effort, even though you are already struggling, to update, Ellen. Miss you everyday. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Barbara145]

Hi Ellen.  So sorry you are sick.  Lungs take a long time to heal.  Give them time.  Going to work sounds like a bad idea.  We (lung patients) need to stay away from people (aka germs) during cold and flu season. The pulmonologist at MCV told me not to go to the grocery store during cold and flu season.  Of course I do but I am very mindful and careful with germs.  So glad your sats are good.  Thinking of you dear lady with love and prayers.    Barbara

[Bonnie]

you are in my prayers...you are a big reason i have 355 DOF. LOVE, Bonnie

[Barb102]

I agree with Bonnie. You have helped me too. Please take care of yourself. Could you please take care of YOU like you take care of everyone else. Prayers and love

[tjanddj]

Love you my lady. 

Trudy

[Taylorlondon]

I don't  know you and I'm new here, but prayers to you I hope you get better  sooner than later.

[elvan]

tjanddj‌ SO GOOD to hear from you.  Seriously, when I saw that you posted yesterday, it pretty much made my day.

Love,

Ellen

[elvan]

Taylorlondon‌ Welcome to EX and thank you so much for your well wishes.  I hope that you stay close to the site and read everything you can about this addiction, welcome the advice and support you will get from this site, and make a commitment to be smoke free.  You CAN do this, it is not easy but it is worth every challenge you may face on this journey.  I do hope you have been welcomed by YoungAtHeart‌ because she will help you to get off to a good start...a solid start, as will some amazing others here.  If you have not done so already, I suggest that you write a blog and introduce yourself to the community and that you know that we are here and we all had to start at the beginning...just like you.  This is one day at a time and sometimes it has to be one minute at a time.  

Again, welcome and thank you.

Ellen

[djmurray]

Oh, my darling Ellen -- I am so sorry to hear you're struggling.  I want to scoop you up and kidnap you so you can rest.  I know how the holidays can really overwhelm our compromised lungs.  Fortunately, I'm not coughing too much, but I sure am exhausted to the point that I'm having trouble sleeping.  But it sounds like you need to disconnect for at least a few days and just do self care.  I love you and hope we can talk soon.

[Pops]

Okay my dearest Ellen...please take heed to all of those friends    that are pleading with you to take it easy...a solid week of pjs and veg out on old Lucy and Honeymooners reruns. (with chicken noodle soup)  ‍   

XOXOXO  Pops 

[elvan]

Pops‌ I am getting there...yesterday was a MUCH better day, today, not so much.  I have no plans though, even canceled my echocardiogram and rescheduled it.  It's a 45 mile drive one way and the rainy weather makes it really hard for me to breathe so I am not going to set myself up.  

Tomorrow, I am planning to work, they have been pretty slow so it shouldn't be bad.  I need to learn their new system since they have revamped everything.  They are so challenged financially right now that they are having issues meeting payroll.  THAT is disturbing.  

Thanks for the advice...I AM still in my pajamas, super soft, fuzzy ones.

Love,

Ellen

[elvan]

djmurray‌ LOOK who has an anniversary coming up!  Good for you...I am really proud of you, dear lady.  I am getting better, it is just a real struggle.  I have appointment with rheumatologist Monday, I have a slew of appointments in January and so does my husband so it will be challenging, to say the least.  I feel like I am a "professional" patient and I am not LIKING it.  

The rain is making me miserable, it is so much harder for me to catch my breath when it is raining.  I have a number of canker sores and two cold sores on the sides of my mouth...all very strong symptoms of a virus.  I am drinking probiotics, taking ACF immune booster along with L-lysine but I really think this stupid thing has gotten the best of me...for now.  I will be snapping back very soon.  I am planning to work tomorrow but may cut my hours for myself as well as my son and daughter in law.

Love you, good to hear from you.  I have been thinking of you.

Ellen

[YoungAtHeart]

Be sure to have hand wipes or a bottle of sanitizing lotion handy and use it early and often.  Colds, flu, stomach flu seem to be rampant right now, and your immune system is already working overtime.  DO come home early if you start to feel tired.  You can't get better if you get overtired.1

Take GOOD care of you - for you are special to me!

Nancy

[elvan]

YoungAtHeart‌ I am well stocked with the sanitizing gel and I am taking things to boost my immune system.  The prednisone knocks it down even more than it usually is so I am well aware of the risk(s) I am taking.  I will leave early if I feel tired although, honestly, I cannot imagine NOT feeling tired.  I am tired all the time...I will have Sunday to rest and then have a doc's appointment on Monday with my rheumatologist.  She is going to go crazy when she sees my arms and the multitude of skin tears and bruises...that's just the OUTSIDE.  

I am really not looking forward to NEXT week because the students will be back from their winter break then and I remember when I worked at the university that I felt like they were bringing viruses and assorted health issues back with them from everywhere in the country and some from outside of the country.  I always ramped up my immune system boosters and did everything I could to protect myself.  I will do the same thing tomorrow and when the kids come back.  I am definitely worn down...between being sick and the Holidays, I feel like I did not see that truck that hit me but it DEFINITELY hit me.  

Love you and thanks...as always.

Ellen

[JonesCarpeDiem]

could you wear a gauze mask, latex gloves and a butchers apron?

[elvan]

JonesCarpeDiem‌ Can I add a cowboy hat to that outfit?  Hahahaha...I am guessing NO ONE would come farther than the door if they saw me in that getup.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

During cold and flu season in Japan almost everyone on the street wore gauze masks.

[elvan]

JonesCarpeDiem‌ I have seen videos of that.  I can't wear a mask without freaking out...makes me feel like I am being suffocated.  I sure am glad that didn't start until I was way past retirement...I would not have done well in the ER or the OR or any isolation setting with all of the gear that is required these days.  

[djmurray]

Hi, sweetie – I know what you mean about feeling like a professional patient – I’ve had times like that as well. My sister is suffering horribly these days. The chemo has caused her teeth (which were already problematic from smoking) to start disintegrating, and she’s dealing with a dry socket, and the lymph node under her left arm is flaring up causing lots of pain. It kills me that I can’t do more for her. I feel so blessed that I have my COPD mostly under control and that the only thing that’s bothering me is that my knees hurt. Not bad for turning 70 in a couple of weeks, right? Starting the first week after the new year I’m getting serious about finding a job – I’ve been living off of the proceeds of the sale of my condo, but that won’t last forever. I have a small 401(k) from my last job, but with the volatility of the market I don’t even want to know what’s in there now. So a job is a real necessity.

Don’t work too hard, take good care of yourself, I love you and I miss you. Maybe we can get together in Charlottesville in the spring.

[CommunityAdmin]

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[elvan]

djmurray‌  I am SO SORRY for all that your sister is going through and all that YOU are going through as someone who loves her.  I would say that your knees hurting might not be bad...depending upon how much they hurt.  I really hope that you can find a job that is not stressful and that you can ENJOY.  Mine is providing a pretty pathetic income but it is something and it is better than nothing. I really do like being around people and I think that it is good for me...except for the exposure to germs but that's nothing I can avoid.

I would love to find a way to get together...but I must admit that driving in Charlottesville has just about turned me off to driving at all.  Students and bicycles everywhere, never knowing where I am going.  Those several times I had to go there for my husband's eye surgery and follow ups were seriously challenging.  

I won't work too hard...I can't...it's really not something I can do, as much as I wish I could.  Right now, I just want to take a nap, have to get in the shower and wake up and put together my clothes for tomorrow. Hmmmm, which black, stretchy pants should I wear?  Leggings or yoga pants, and which SHIRT.  That is always hilarious since the shirts I wear to work are a size Large or XL MEN'S button down collar shirts...they sort of fit me like a dress but I LIKE them.  They are very comfortable and make me feel that I am safe from people staring at my back which they probably don't even realize that they are doing.

Love you honey...looking forward to your anniversary!

Ellen

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I think they ought to hire a robot and just let you greet people from behind the curtain.

[elvan]

DID you get an error?