Feel like I am getting Bashed here...

[eady36]

I just have to put this out there cause I am getting kind of pissed.  I feel like I am getting bashed for starting day 1 over again, like some of the comments are to make me feel bad about being at day 1.  One question was whats different about today then 2 weeks where the response said nothing.  Well obviously to me something is different because I came back, I learned a lesson, I AM TRYING!!!!.

Yes, I could have had 2 weeks, but I don't. What I do have out of that 15 days is 11 smoke free days where I learned some strategies, and 3 smoke filled days, where I beat myself up enough thank you very much.

So yes, I am DOING DAY 1 ALL OVER AGAIN, however I am doing it and I don't feel bad about it. As a matter of fact I feel pretty good today.  I just had to put this out there because one of my excuses to smoke was that I feel bad about myself, I don't have a lot of self confidence as the last 4 years of my life, due to some of my decisions, has beat the living shit out of me, and am lucky to be alive. So I am not going to fall into feeling bad about starting at Day 1 to give my addict an excuse to start again because I am only at day 1.

There is my rant for the day, had to get it out!!!!!!~!!!!!! And still smoke free after 10 hours 🙂

[shill57957]

Hi, Day one is hard enough, much to hard to feel like you are being bashed!  So I am sending you positive energy and a hug.  I am sure you have beat yourself up enough.  I think it is awesome that you are right back on that horse and didn't wait.  Maybe you should read or re-read the Allen Carr book to help you discover what went wrong the first time.  I know from my experience quitting shouldn't be a nightmare, my quit has has only a few bad moments and for the most part has been the happiest time of my life!!!  Freedom is so good.  

Sheri 

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I read the comments and what I saw was that we want you to be prepared to tough it out when those cravings hit. We hope that you will come here first and blog before you take that puff that sets you into relapse. We're convinced that you don't have to start over  again and again - just make it through each day one day at a time and don't let yourself make excuses because we are addicts and right now, your addictive mind is very much affecting your thinking much more than your logical natural mind. That's why you have to stay smoke free long enough for the smoke cloud to lift before your rational mind can think straight. It's not about beating anybody up - it's about finding the way to SUCCESS!!! NOT ONE PUFF EVER One Day at a Time NO MATTER WHAT! 

My name is Thomas and I have 591 days straight without a single puff because I pledge NOPE each and every day! You CAN too!

[TheNewMe_Jo]

Hey I posted a very warm sincere respectful, and encouraging reply to your blog.

If you choose to only focus on the negative, you will never make it through this,

Maybe you feel that way cause you dont know us. Maybe you just feel everyone is out to get you. Cause no one here is like that at all.

FOCUS ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE POSITIVE IN YOUR LIFE

I was very nice to you,

Dont let this quit take you over, be respectful and accept what elders have to say, sometimes you wont like it. If you dont like someone, you dont have to be their friend, ya know?

Not ALL of us get along the same way.

Yeah, dont fall into a bad first day.

and dont push those of us who are trying to be positive with you by only addressing the negative ones here...

JoAnn

[karyn3]

Just my honest opinion but for me a little accountability HELPS alot for me , I know these folks are doing it n want me to do it to ............ everyones supporting one another < thats how it works >

GLAD you jumped back on the horse !! n noones downing you just supporting your QUIT !!! ( :

[eady36]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...

[officer_krupt]

you can do it !!!!!!! try putting a rubberband around your wrist and everytime you want a cig pull back on the rubberband and let it pop you in the wrist..........pretty soon you wont want any cigs

[owlfeather]

Just a precaution.  I tried the rubber band thing.  Almost ruptured a vein...........  Just sayin'

[eady36]

Ha ha, don't want to try the rubber band!  Thanks though 🙂

[mojo8]

Sorry you are feeling bad, but this site is not intended to pursecue people rather help and sometimes tough love comes across of being accusatory.  That's not it at all, you are have to responsible for your actions, acknowledge then go forward.  You really want this and that's what counts.  If you do not want to quit then you will not.  I hope you have learned that this is a good place to come and vent and be heard and loved for who you are not what you do.  Please remember to seperate out the action from the person, maybe then it will not seem so hurtful.  We are all batting for your to stay quit.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I didn't see anything harsh  in any of the replies to your blog this morning.

No one is out to get you. We all want the best for you.

[pir8fan]

In written communication tone of voice and body language are missing! Sometimes a phrase is not quite turned right! The people of this site for the most part are really caring people! When I first arrived, I found people who cared more about my quit that I did! They helped me understand my addiction, and I discovered what I coined "Collateral Kindness" The act of helping yourself by helping others! There are exceptions, but the people who commented on your last blog will, without exception, help you fight the nicodemon in every way that they can! I assure that those folks were not trying to bash or offend you! They will come to be some of the best friends that you will never meet! Have faith in yourself and know that we care about you and your quit!       Tommy

[cyn9]

[TheNewMe_Jo]

pir8fan  well said... agreed!

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

I am happy that you're here & beginning a new quit. I know that anything posted on your previous blog was not intended to embarrass or humiliate you in any way. We want you to take this quit seriously. It may sound dramatic but this is life or death we're talking about. There will ALWAYS be obstacles/excuses in the way of our quit but they're all of our own making. If we can't maintain our quit during these trying times we'll never be able to remain smoke free. I'm not saying I'm special but I was willing to make a sincere comittment to my quit & do ANYTHING to protect it. I've had relationship problems, friends & family have died, emotional crisis that have put me on the verge of smoking but I held on & remembered the advice of all my friends. Do whatever it takes to protect your quit. We'll be here to help in any way we can & I know that you know this. You'll have to do the work but reach out any time you need.

We're all pullin for ya.

[Amber4]

I read over the entries from your last blog.  I didn't see anything that struck me as bashing you. Now that does not mean that how you interpreted it wasn't as bashing.  However,  it leads me to believe that it is the NicoDemon who is twisting words around to make you feel awful about yourself and light up...again.  Remeber the addict will use ANY excuse to get a fix again. 

You have already been feeling awful about your slip and perhaps on some level looking for someone to confirm your bad feelings about yourself.  No one on this site will belittle you, bash you, degrade you, or be hurtful to you. 

We will, however, support you, care for you, encourage you, and respect you by giving it to you strait. Sugar coating things can make it easier to swallow...but the point can be lost along the way. 

Elenor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

Great job on getting back on the horse.  That says you are ready to put the effort into this quit to be successful! Have a great last day 1!!

[melissa131]

I can't go back and read previous, just whats on yer page, but speaking as someone who may have felt the way you do. I had to reset my quit date...I tried NRT s and that is what didn't work for me. Also my boyfriend is in a band, Iwent out on my second day of my first quit, and was so bored and blah blah, the gum was making me sic, I got a head ache from e-cigs. I smoked. And people here said I was making excuses. What ever, they don't know me. I work with people all day in a very busy sandwich shop, some one here questioned why that makes a difference. Well ya know what, I requested my vacation time off, this year instead of taking the money. I stayed home for a week during  my quit, I treated it like a cleanse. Because I have quit other thigns that way...like addictive drugs prescibed and not, I know what works for me. Others here might not know me, and know that I am a single mom who works her a** off. I felt offended when they said I was making excuses, I felt I was being honest. So, like pir8fan says, it's the internet I have learned from other sites, that you can't really catch the tone of what people are saying. But on the other hand, sometimesthings people perceive as excuses others might consider learning opportunities, which is what this all is, a constant state of learning. Sometimes you have to just rest and absorb it.Sometimes you are activly "practicing". But in the end what matters is you quit nicotine,because it is bad stuff. And it IS so much easier to quit than we make it in our minds, and I think that is what the peopel here are trying to share. It just doesn't always come out that way. 

My co-workers (who I manage) were so glad I stayed home during my quit, so...what works for some people, doesn't for others, that is for you to figure out. BUt, like New Me said, don't let that stop you from coming here, and reading other sites like Joels Why quit, and Quit smoking on line.On Joels site, he has some really good stuff about what to expect on the first day, I suggest you read that, and like INDIN Girl says, take what you want, and ignore the rest. 

We are here for ya, and I can relate to how you feell. But don't let anything anyone says be a reason to start, because cause that is just a lie the nicodemon is trying to tell you, that something others have done are why you need to smoke. 

((hugs)) Melissa 

[melissa131]

PS ny son took apart his keyboard last night, and now the space bar doesnt' work. 🙂 good luck. and lol as much as possible, just laugh about how funny all this is.....hahahhahahaha. And then drink some waterr, and so something else,bcause that craving will pass. 

[jojo29]

OK EADY, IAM THE ONE WHO ASKED U WHATS DIFFERENT ???? I ASK U THAT B/C THIS WAY U WILL SEE THAT ITS ALL THE SAME, WE HAD TO LIVE AND LEARN. I DIDNT MEAN NO HARM AT ALL I WOULD NEVER DO THAT  TO ANYONE AS I WAS YOU A YR AGO SO.. SO WHEN I SAY PROTECT UR QUIT, OR IF U GOT A WEAK MOMENT GO BCK TO SEE THAT U DID 2 WKS AND IT WAS THE SAME AND U BEGIN AGAIN, MAYB I WORDED THAT WRONG OR MAYB U TOOK IT WRONG, BUT I NO I DONT BASH ANYBODY.AND YES, U DID A GREAT THING BY COMING BACK, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES... MISTAKES ARE MENT TO BE  MADE SO WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM.AND I TELL IT LIKE IT IS, NO SUGAR COATING IT, IT WONT BE HELPFUL TO U.WELCOME BACK AND ENJOY UR QUIT.. JOANNE.SMOKEFREE 365 DAYS TODAY.. A 40 YR SMOKER W/ STAGE 4 COPD END EMPHYSEMA. POSSIBLE LUNG TRANSPLANT IN PROGRESS... BUT IM STILL GOIN STRONG.

[Alice23]

Hey -  you know - I think that sometimes , when we're upset with ourselves and our actions, it just makes us that much more sensitive.  I know it does with me.  I remember in other quit attempts when I would relapse and then sneak around , I was always so defensive and angry with people....it was my own bad feelings about myself.  Good for you for coming clean and talking about your relapse and acknowledging your addiction.

There are no reasons to smoke ..not one good one.  There are a million excuses and in all honesty , when held up to scrutiny , they're pretty flimsy.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  That's all you need to know. 

I KNOW that everyone that responded to you did so only because they want you to know that YOU CAN DO THIS.

Just remember , you will never regret the one you never light !

Hang in there - you are doing this - one minute at a time!

[smokeandmirrors]

Bravo! (I mean that sincerely.) I'm glad you got that out. I hope you're feeling better now.