Farewell Dear Salem

[River529]

Dear Salem, 
We met so very long ago, during carefree days and gentle breezes, when we both thought nothing in this world could ever stop us, invincible we were! Never ever to part! Best Friends Always!:D

We ran together all day long, together during school and work too. We were quite the Power couple! Heck, you even made it to starring roles and Tv commercials and holding hands with Hollywood! Wow were you something else!

Eventually tho, your stardom and power began to overshadow me:( Ever so slowly, as the decades have passed, I’ve watched you soar, your other friends become extremely rich. While I have become poorer in finances and in Health 😞 and the less you have cared about me.

You keep looking back every so often, telling me it’s OK! You’re doing great! I’m still here for you! So on I go, believing in you and caving to your sweet words and the occasional kiss you blow my way.. 

I realize now you have just used me to furnish your lavish ways, kept me chained as your fall back person.. and now I suffer and there is no help from you or sweet words that can fix this lopsided relationship you and me have been entwined in.. 

I hope one day you will see the many lives you have destroyed, that your ways are poison and that one day you see the Light and finally close up your house of deceit for good. 
I have no other choice but to end our relationship and bid you farewell now. Please never call on me again and should you, know I will never answer your knock. 

Goodbye Salem…

[ReallyReal]

Dear @River529 , nice goodbye letter.  Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if the whole house of deceit was boarded up and shut down for good--maybe someday.  But for now, you yourself see that it was all just lies and you want to be free of that fiend--and you can be free.  Read all you can about your addiction and make a plan for how you will handle withdrawal and after.  Research shows that quitters with a plan and a strong support network are more successful than those who don't have those things.  I hope you continue to post here and stay engaged with the community as your quit progresses--,the support and advice I've received here has been invaluable.  Wishing you the best--,others will be along with words of wise counsel.  Cheers.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome!

Great good-bye!  Now I hope you will put some effort toward the next step to make it so.

Understanding the addiction and having a PLAN going forward will reduce the anxiety of quitting.  Get busy learning and preparing, and I think you may actually start to look forward to this journey!  You will do this one day at a time, so don't be looking further ahead than that. 

An important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. I was amazed when I learned that the stress reduction you feel when you ingest nicotine is caused by the brain receptors calming that have gradually built in volume jonesing for their next fix!  I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking”  that brings light two other things you might not know.  You can purchase a digital version online or borrow it at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: Nicotine and Your Brain.

I quit many years ago , and I base my overall recommendations on my experience and that of others here over the years. If you decide to use a quit aid, I recommend those that don't let the addict control the dose such as Rx drugs and the patch. Lozenges and gum are fine, but don't sub them for every cigarette you used to smoke.  That will simply be substituting one addiction for another.  Have a plan to reduce use over time. Each cigarette you smoked contained about 1 mg of nicotine. If you use more than one form of NRT, be sure you aren't getting more than when you smoked.

To better deal with the habit part of the addiction, change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your walking shoes on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

After you have eliminated as many associations as you can, you need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit Games: The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the page.

Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke - EX Community

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

You might want to join other site members by taking the daily pledge when you quit. It helps to hold yourself accountable and also accountable to others here. Find it at Home (top left), then first box titled Take the Daily Pledge.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[River529]

Thank you! I am heading into my second week of figuring out diff aids I have, routine changes, identifying triggers and what to do. Etc., I have a plan in place. 
Last week started out well. Then it tanked some. But that’s ok. 
Next week I am more prepared for. My quit date is May 10. I have a physical on May 9 and Doc talk. 
Thank you for your wise words! 

[CommunityAdmin]

Welcome @River529!  My name is Quiana, and I am a part of the EX Team. Congratulations on your decision to quit! I wanted to reach out and personally welcome you to the EX Community! We are so excited you have joined us. This is a very supportive community so feel free to keep us all posted on your quit journey reach out and let us know if you need anything.

Here are some articles that might be helpful as you prepare for your quit date: 

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/right-before-you-quit/

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/3-ways-to-get-your-support-...

Quiana, EX Team

[Barbscloud]

@River529 Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your upcoming quit.  Great good-bye letter!   

Happy to see you already understand how important it is to learn about nicotine addiction and putting a plan in place.   After 50 years of smoking, I didn't learn how to quit until I found the Ex.  This link has some great information about quitting. https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Here are some posts from the Mayo Clinic that may help with your aid decision.  I used Welbutrin and nicotrol inhaler and the physical withdrawal with nil. Even with aids with still have to do the work, especially preparing the psychological component of quitting.

Trying to decide on a short-acting nicotine replac... - EX Community

Navigating Nicotine Replacement: What are the opti... - EX Community

Chantix vs. Wellbutrin - EX Community

Look forward to celebrating with you on the 10th.  This is a great forum to share your experience and receive support.

Stay busy and stay close.

Barb 

[River529]

Thank you for your support Barb! 
I am going to ask Dr during physical to hold me accountable too. Discuss meds if I can’t do it with what I have planned. 
I have had the discussion before with a couple of Dr’s.

My biggest obstacle is spouse. 40 year marriage. Docs know this. Each have said my chances of quitting are low. Spouse won’t be considerate. I will have temptation in most areas of home. When we travel. Some how I have to stop thinking of the huge obstacle. That is increasing anxiety and then I feel hopeless:/

Spouse was out of town and I did well first weekend and into the next week with cutting back, getting use to aids. No dirty ashtrays sitting around. No second hand smoke to smell. Switching up routines.
 He got back and wow did I fail :/.. 

In past, I quit and managed to stay quit for 2.5 years. He will not NOT smoke in vehicle. He will NOT not smoke in our family room. 
When we go out for celebratory dinners he can’t stay seated. I can. I can not smoke for hourssss.. He orders, leaves table, goes out to smoke. He eats, leaves table to go out to smoke. At home gatherings, birthdays etc., he is missing more than his present. 
I have been trying to make this a Team effort for many years. I have finally decided he will never quit or even cut back. I am on this path pretty much alone. 1/2 of my family and extended also smokes.. 

I am determined tho to do this. I have to. 
I am glad I found this forum, support and guidance. I feel this is going to help me make that final push once and for all🙏🏼

[Barbscloud]

@River529 Living with a smoker does present an additional challenge. But, there are quitters here who have done.  Remind yourself that it's your quit, no one else's.

Quit aids have helped many be successful.  I used Welbutrin and nicotrol inhalers.   Here's some information on aids that you might find helpful

Trying to decide on a short-acting nicotine replac... - EX Community

Navigating Nicotine Replacement: What are the opti... - EX Community

Chantix vs. Wellbutrin - EX Community

Stay close and keep me posted on how you're doing.

Barb

2240 Days