Does this count!

[Lena2020]

I am new on here and I’m not sure how to post hope I’m doing it right this time.  I went to bed a few nights ago promising myself that tomorrow is my first quit day!  I didn’t have a plan I never set a previous quit day. I just got fed up.  I am an active 40 year old and the last time I was in the gym was a few days ago when I noticed shortness of breath   That really hit me hard    I have been smoking since I was 16. It was the worst decision I made for myself and smoking was a nightmare for me yet I still did it.  After the age of 25 cigarettes became more like a family member a best friend.  They were always there   I couldn’t imagine my life with out them.  Well to make a long story short.... I couldn’t do it I tried for the day and I was just not myself.  I couldn’t sleep that night just thinking about how I’m going to wake up and not have cigarettes at home.  I feel like a failure   I have no will power what’s so ever.  I bought a pack and held it and cried oceans   I then just realized how Addicted I am. I just realized how the cigarettes are controlling me.   I decided to slowly do it smoking 12 to 14 cigarettes a day for the past 24 years of my life I have only smoked 6 a day since I made this commitment.  Does this count as trying? Or am I failure.  I feel extremely anxious and depressed 

[nevergiveup]

Hi Lena. Welcome to EX...glad you're here!  You are absolutely NOT a failure! Believing in yourself is part of it...a BIG part...of this journey in my opinion. I'm sure others will comment & provide you with links to information that can only help you if you are willing to accept that help as it works into your journey.   Martha

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

You are NOT a failure.  Willpower is not the tool to use for quitting smoking.  Education, preparation, planning, support and commitment ARE!  We can help with all but the last.  This is a two - part addiction, both physical AND psychological - and one that it is difficult from which to break free.   If you can reduce the number you smoke over time, doing so by getting busy, it will help you prepare.  If you are white knuckling in between what you allow yourself, and try to hit a set number, it will not.  I was not able to do that, as it made me constantly think about smoking, when I could have the next one, etc., and then trying to bargain with myself about having an extra now and reducing one later, etc.  I was still successful without doing that.  Do what works for you!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) it maintains the addiction to nicotine, and 4) they are proving to be unsafe.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[Barbscloud]

Hi Lena.  It's important to create your quit plan as suggested.  It make such a difference being prepared.   Please do some more reading on this site.  Understanding this addiction helps you to know what to expect and gives you the strength to successful.     

We've all been there and it can be fearful when we have associated smoking with everything we do and feel.  So don't think past one day at  time.  You can do this and we're here to support on your journey.  Pick your date and reach out.

We're here for you.

Barb

[Jeanmarc19561]

Hi Lena and to reiterate what has already been said, you are NOT a failure! Failure is not doing anything and you are most certainly doing something. While we're at it, don't let the addiction to cigarettes determine your self-worth. Sure it's a struggle but it is something you CAN do. Listen to what the people on this site have to say. It has been an immense help for me and no doubt will be for you too. Finally, if you slip just get back up, wipe the dust off, and keep charging forward. A thousand, "You go girl!' from me. John

[DeniseL920]

Hi Lena,

Boy you sound just like me.  I never thought I could make it one day... (I’m on Day 3 -total newbie).  I’ve been smoking so long I felt like it was part of me.  Reading The Easyway was huge for me.   I’m also listening to a podcast on addiction.  It’s actually about alcohol addiction but I’m finding the addictions to be very similar.  It’s been very helpful for me.  Its called the bubble hour. Not sure how I stumbled on it but glad I did.  Hope it helps you too.  Definitely fills time while driving too. 
good luck. 

[alissastump]

No!  You are not a failure.  That is your addiction trying to talk you out of quitting, and like they said above,  we have all been there before and have felt the same as you (I still do at times).  You have made a great decision to quit.  YOU are enough,  YOU are strong enough.  Now you need a plan...  You need to pick your quit date,  get your tool box ready, and read as much on here as you can.  We are here to support you and you can do this!  I'm 39 and smoked since I was 15.  I'm only 18 days into my quit.  I would like to think that I am active,  but in reality I'm not,  and I smoked a pack a day.  I feel like I have lost part of myself at times. You can do this!  It's not easy,  but it sure feels good once you get through Hell and Heck weeks! 

Alissa

18 DOF (and counting)

[Lena2020]

Thank you so very much for all the information you shared with me. I’m grateful to all of you for your support and taking the time and reaching out.  I will definitely visit the library after work today and see if they have Allen Carr’s book.  Thank you again 

[Lena2020]

Thank you so much for kind words 

[AnnetteMM]

You can also find it online

[sweetplt]

Hi Lena and Welcome to Ex’s Lena2020 

You have received some great advice above me...I will tell you I cut down for 6 months until my actual quit...by the time I quit smoking, (my quit date) I was smoking a few cigs a every few days...I think it can work, but I think you need to make a plan for that actual quit date...be sure to come here often...we are here to help...You can do this....~ Colleen 449 DOF 

[elvan]

Welcome to EX, you have gotten some amazing advice already, I cannot offer anything more other than to remind you that quitting is a journey and that it does get easier.  It takes time and there will be good days and bad days, just like there are when you are smoking.  You can do this and you will find yourself feeling stronger every day.

Best,

Ellen

[maryfreecig]

I quit in 2013 and am smober to this day. However, I tried in 2009. I was sick of smoking, woke up in the early morning and decided I was going to quit. 

I lasted until afternoon!!! Boom! Crash! I felt so stupid. But relieved to be smoking.

You are right, will power has nothing to do with it. When I decided to quit in 2013, I took 2.5 weeks to plan. What this meant for me was to search for sources online, videos, information, suggestions, encouragement. With that info I stuck with tips and info that made sense. I wrote a list of things that I was willing to do other than smoke. I referred to it once I quit.

My plan was my plan--not what someone else thought I should do--but mine. I had no quit date, but a carton. Told myself, when it's gone, you are done. I knew that a carton was all I needed in order for me to gear up to quit. Others have quit in a similar way, some choose a date (after making a plan).

You tried. You discovered that you are addicted. You came here. Sounds like something good has happened to you.

Stick with Ex. One day at a time, you can find your quit.