Discouraged

[bobbie11]

I'll start out by saying none of this is an excuse to screw up my quit.  I'm resolved to stay quit no matter what. 

I know everyone has those lousy days - I'm bipolar and I'm in the depression part of the cycle to begin with.  My husband has been laid off for over a year, my 3 sons are all having money problems and we're trying to help as best we can.  My middle son isn't working and isn't out there looking for a job, either - it's easier for him to just live at home and play on his computer all day.  My hubby and I had the "finances" talk the other day - we can hang in for a while longer, so we're luckier than some, but it's going to be a challenge.

I'm not working due to health issues.  I had surgery last October (that's when I quit) and am looking at more surgery probably within the next month and then a month or two of physical therapy.  We'll lose our health insurance in April, which will mean I won't be able to continue my regular meds.  My fibromyalgia has been flaring up, and because of that and the depression, I'm exhausted all the time.  My house is a mess because I don't have the energy to keep up with the cleaning (I've suggested that the other two people who live here might want to pitch in, but that hasn't worked).  But...at least my house doesn't smell like cigarettes  🙂

I'm just in a really down time.

The bright side is, my family is very supportive of my quit, and I know this time will pass.  And one thing I know for sure is, I'm going to protect this quit no matter what.  Nothing will get better if I smoke, I'll just have to spend more on doctors and drugs for the winter bronchitis I always got when I was smoking (but not this year -YAY!).  I just wish I could get my head out of the dumps and get some energy back.  I just sit around all day reading.  Guess I've just got to stick it out, like everyone does when they feel like this.

Thank you all for the support and encouragement you've given me.  My quit is my top priority, so no matter how down I get, I know smoking will not  make me feel better.

Thanks for reading - now, back to our regularly scheduled program  ;-/

[jojo29]

hang in there bobbie, in no how rough it can be at time i have 4 kids also, im not workin just got laid off in oct, lost my mom to cancer in aug, im copd, sooo some days are better then others but i have t mae the best outa the bad,like u said, smoking wont change or make it right,so why bother. just smile, if u can, b/c itll all fall in place sooner or later,and things will look up for u, pray it always works. 🙂 sometime u need patience, so hang on.stay strong. and blog, good thing is ur protecting ur quit, thats a good job in it self :)))  be true to urself, be ur own best friend and u will be ok. yell if u need anything were always here, my best to u.Joanne

[cookiegirl]

You go Bobbie and protect that quite. Just keep the postive thoughts a going. My husband is bipolar and that in it self is very challenge. Don't worry about your house I know that feeling I had to force myself  to get a couple of rooms  clean and a few loads of clothes and I thought the rest will have to wait..

[bobbie11]

Thanks jojo and cookiegirl.  I know this is just one of those humps I have to get over, it's just getting to me  now.  But no way am I going to lose my quit over this, it's just not gonna happen!

[walkwithwings]

you sound so strong! as much as your family supports you... look at how much you've been supporting them! think about the great things you got going on! and... i think you got the right idea... def get that BIG tattoo for your year mark. you deserve great things! 🙂

[Sootie]

Dear Bobbie--so sorry to hear of all the things you are going through...I hope there is some relief soon. As for the "other two supportive people in your house"---you are certainly a SWEETHEART----I would have done more than "suggest" they help with the housework!! So tell them they are lucky they have you  :  )  and not me.

Stay Strong.

[smokefreedom]

Hi Bobbie, Just want you to know, you are a better woman than I am! With all that is going on in your everyday and you not smoking or going off on everyone........you have what it takes to stay quit. We're all here for you. Hugsssssssssss Judy

[EllenMT]

HOLY COW!  Now y'all know what I mean when I say someone else always has a bigger struggle or more problems than me.  This is life and I know you are in a difficult time right now but this too will pass.  Soooo Glad that you have kept your quit.  If you need someone to kick em in the butt for ya let me know and me and the Jack Russell will set em straight! JK!!! Big hug and sloppy kiss from Dinky!  One day at a time hon, one day at a time.

[cherclay]

Boy, I'm not sure what I want to say or if I can really help.  I just know that quitting is tough but it can be done.  I've made it almost 17 months and believe me, it does get easier every day.  Just go one day at a time, or even by the hour if that makes it easier to handle.  I am now trying to loose the weight I gained (I really let myself over-indulge) and am exercising and walking to get it off.  Some days I just don't want to go out in the cold and walk, but I do it anyway, and I always feel great afteward!  I push myself just a little bit harder every day.  I think that if you can get yourself up and walk, even a little ways, every day, you will find yourself feeling better. Just make yourself do it, even when you don't want to.  When you don't want to but do it anyway, you will be so proud of yourself afterward.  It's a great feeling.  I wish you courage and strength to keep going on your quit.

[lynette3]

I second Judy's feelings. FAR better than me.

You've got what it takes, girlfriend.

You can do this quit, no matter what....

[pam12]

Sending good mojo your way. Remember if you smoke you not only will need money for the drugs to fight your bronchitis, but money also for those cigarettes..for me that was $8.19/pack...keep that in mind..that would really place a burden on your already tight financial situation. You are so much better off not smoking. You must feel better, I know I do. I know you smell better. You are not a slave to it anymore. There are so many positives to not smoking and I can't think of one single positive thing about smoking. So....stay strong, don't smoke!