I'll start out by saying none of this is an excuse to screw up my quit. I'm resolved to stay quit no matter what.
I know everyone has those lousy days - I'm bipolar and I'm in the depression part of the cycle to begin with. My husband has been laid off for over a year, my 3 sons are all having money problems and we're trying to help as best we can. My middle son isn't working and isn't out there looking for a job, either - it's easier for him to just live at home and play on his computer all day. My hubby and I had the "finances" talk the other day - we can hang in for a while longer, so we're luckier than some, but it's going to be a challenge.
I'm not working due to health issues. I had surgery last October (that's when I quit) and am looking at more surgery probably within the next month and then a month or two of physical therapy. We'll lose our health insurance in April, which will mean I won't be able to continue my regular meds. My fibromyalgia has been flaring up, and because of that and the depression, I'm exhausted all the time. My house is a mess because I don't have the energy to keep up with the cleaning (I've suggested that the other two people who live here might want to pitch in, but that hasn't worked). But...at least my house doesn't smell like cigarettes 🙂
I'm just in a really down time.
The bright side is, my family is very supportive of my quit, and I know this time will pass. And one thing I know for sure is, I'm going to protect this quit no matter what. Nothing will get better if I smoke, I'll just have to spend more on doctors and drugs for the winter bronchitis I always got when I was smoking (but not this year -YAY!). I just wish I could get my head out of the dumps and get some energy back. I just sit around all day reading. Guess I've just got to stick it out, like everyone does when they feel like this.
Thank you all for the support and encouragement you've given me. My quit is my top priority, so no matter how down I get, I know smoking will not make me feel better.
Thanks for reading - now, back to our regularly scheduled program ;-/
