I've been struggling lately with my quit { yes old timers can sometimes struggle too}
I have always said I would be completely open honest and transparent to others of my journey to quit in hopes it will help others struggling too .
If you are a newbie struggling or an old timer please know you are not alone . Also know it's ok to post your struggles if you are an elder . We are all human and hiding our struggle may only lead us back to smoking losing many years quit . More quits are lost this way because we don't want newbies to think there is weakness after a long term quit ( my opinion only ) I have always felt that posting for help whenever we need it shows strength and commitment to keep our quit . I say reach out , put pride aside , shame , pain or embarrassment and ask for help any time . Never smoke . It gives newbies an opportunity too to help and I know I sure welcome newbie help .
Some feel an elder struggling will scare the newcomers .
I think truth makes the newcomers see we are in this together to win and we will win . Day one or ten thousand one , we are equal imho because one puff steals a quit for any of us .
Newcomers .. just to tell you a bit about me , I lost an eight year quit once. I don't trust addiction. It can rear its ugly head anytime just as its doing now , but gaurenteed I'll never lose another quit if I can help it .
Why ? Because I got more educated about addiction .
Honestly , I am struggling only because I'm romancing addiction like back when I was just three months quit . The good news is I recognize it . I'm thinking smoking will give me comfort , but the good thing is I know that's a lie . It won't . I'm looking for a way to numb the pain from some very difficult stressful situation that I have no control over . The good thing is I know this too shall pass although it can't be soon enough . I know all things come together for good even when it doesn't seem like it . Smoking is not a solution , it's a reaction .
My thinking is stinkin thinking these days but I am here posting about it , not smoking over it . I know I am self sabotaging if I continue to think this way so I must change the things I can to get myself out of the misery . It's not a good place . I must put the baggage down , the fear , the negativity and the worry and hold on to hope , faith and light . When I do that , addiction can't win . It losses . It lost!
Thanks for letting me share . Thanks for letting me work my way through thIs tonight and for being good support models with your encouragement or just being here .
On an exciting note ..my neighbour and her husband have a brand new baby and I got to hold her and I wasn't smelling of smoke nor she because of me . Being quit matters . Tomorrow's a new day and it too will be smoke free . I pledge and I don't break promises .
Maki
