Dear Nic O. Demon,
I thought maybe I should touch base with you after the way tried to wreck my day today. Shame on you for trying so hard to wreck a perfectly wonderful day! You know there are certain calls on the ambulance that are more difficult for me than others....you should know, because I turn to you after each one of them. So...you arranged for me to start my day with a cardiac arrest. Yes, someone lost a loved one this morning, and despite our best efforts we weren't going to change that, we watched while the family grieved, we held back tears while they shed their's...and you were pretty certain I would turn to you afterward. Why wouldn't you expect that....I always have. I've turned to you for comfort, to "feel better", to "not feel so bad", to relieve the stress, just to have something to do.....but not today. What's the matter, did I piss you off because I didn't need you today? I must have.....because you tried something different on the next call.
You are a sly one, Nic, that you are. On my second call of the day, I found myself on another cardiac arrest....but this one was a patient just a little older than myself, and he was talking to me when we got there....he "died" right in front of us, and we had to work very hard, sweat a lot, pray even more, and let the hand of God reach in to grab him...he was talking to me again as we put him on the helicopter. I say you are sly, Nic....because after the call of a lifetime (no they seldom go like that except on TV!) you thought I'd turn to you to celebrate??? Haha...I fooled you, didn't I? I didn't need you to comfort me after the first one, and I didn't need you to celebrate after the second one...BAM!....take that! You thought you were pretty sneaky....but I was ready for you! I just weakened your hold on me....and I feel great! Yes, I ate too many Tootsie Rolls....oh, well, there's an extra walk in my future....my future without you, Nic. I hate to tell you this, because we've been awfully close for an awfully long time, but my days of needing you are over, and the sooner you realize that, the better off we will both be. You've tried to get to me lately...you've really kept me on my toes. I must be making progress, and getting strong enough to scare you, because the tactics you used today were loathsome! I'm on to you, Nic.....I know how ugly you are....and I'm done with you being in my life! We will visit again....I'm sure we will....I'm sure you'll try to find one of my weak points, and try to shake my resolve, but YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED....and every time you try, and every time I win, you will get that much weaker, and I will get that much stronger. Look how desperately you are acting after just 9 days! You are pitiful.....I am armed and ready....yes, I'm unsteady....but I'm getting steadier daily.
I think I scared you yesterday when I came to realizations about our relationship (I'll tell everyone about those later). I think you realize that you are about to lose me for good, and you are desperate to hang on to me. Dear, Nic, that will not happen....we are finished, and if you are not sure of that after today....you will be sure very soon.....very, very soon.
Nic, if you can't run with big dogs, you need to stay on the porch.....we'll let me tell you, I'm a pretty big dog today....and you can stay UNDER THE PORCH!
Sincerely,
Your Ex....Lisa
