Day one

[hiphouse]

17 hours since I had my last cigarette (I'm in Bulgaria so about 7-8 hours ahead of the US).  I'm going cold turkey as I don't have access to tablets, patches etc. It's been harder than I thought!  I'm sick and tired of smoking, so the incentive is strong.  I can accept that the thoughts of having a cigarette are just that, so I can bat those away. Yet I have an anxious feel in the centre of my chest that I can't get rid of.  Not helped by the fact that I'm stuck at a desk for work... think it would be a good idea to go for a walk.  Think I'll go and do that now!  Any help/support to get me through the next hours.  I believe that day 3 is a nightmare for some. Think I might just make that a movie day and buy chocolate.  Onwards and upwards.  Thanks for letting me share.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

Congratulations on your decision to quit smoking and your first day.  Sounds like you have a good mindset already!  A walk is ALWAYS the right answer when a crave gets to be too much.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[elvan]

hiphouse‌ Do the reading, stay close to the site when you can,  I did not use patches or gum or tablets either, a LOT of us didn't. Drink lots of water to get the nicotine out of your body and remember that a cigarette will not FIX anything...not one thing.  It will not do anything FOR you but it will do lots TO you.

Ellen

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Welcome!  And good for you.  Blogging here is a good diversion.  That nagging feeling in your chest; I have that too.  I'm not sure how to describe it; people here think I'm crazy.  I'm pretty sure it's a physical sensation.  I can feel it.  I wonder sometimes if it's residual from smoking, or maybe my lungs are healing.  Who knows?  I didn't feel it when I was smoking and it's kind of ticklish in an odd way so I just let it be and try to enjoy it.  Sometimes it makes me chuckle and smile.

Great to hear from you.  Keep us posted on your SUCCESS!

Onward!!!

[dwwms]

Welcome to the community! Taking a walk and breathing deeply the fresh air is a great way to get those nasty thoughts out of your mind - I've done that numerous times, still do. Everybody's quit is unique in some ways, though there are common threads. In general, the first week is the worst (hell week), the second a bit better (heck week) and the third week, you begin to realize that this IS possible (hope week). I'd recommend doing the reading suggested, it will help you understand what you're up against and give you more resolve to make it happen. It certainly has worked for me. It's been a bit over two months since I put out my last cigarette - you CAN do this, too!!

Again, welcome.

[Giulia]

Chocolate, did you say chocolate?  That's the best cure for withdrawals.  lol  Welcome to the madhouse!  It's crazy fun this quitting thing.  All our quits are different (yet the same).  My first three days were a piece of cake.  The fourth was the bear!  Sounds like you've done your homework and are getting your ducks in order.  Distraction is the name of the game, so yes, take those walks when you can.  Get up and stretch.  Yawn.  Exercise will help give you a similar dopamine high that cigarettes gave you AND help get your focus off the elephant in the corner.  That feeling you have in your chest? - mine was in my gut, solar plexis area.  It's an emptiness, an incomplete feeling as if being hungry all the time.  Sucking water out of those sports bottles with the nipples helps alleviate some of that emptiness and also keeps the mouth busy.  

Stand tall, stay proud and....

[maryfreecig]

Welcome. Thanks for sharing. You are working it, so just keep at it...one hour at a time, one day at a time. Congratulations. The anxiety will taper off, but do learn about the addiction and keep up with the healthy distractions. 

[gardenancy8]

Welcome and congrats on your quit, that is really awesome!  Keep reading blogs on here and check out ' best of ex ' also. Good info, and it keeps you busy.  Keep telling yourself that smoking just isn't an option anymore.   

[Strudel]

You can never go wrong with chocolate! Congrats on your quit! Be sure to check out the Carr book Nancy mentioned....and stick around! Welcome to the site! 

[freeneasy]

Congratulations on your decision to quit. It's not easy but it's doable and you won't regret it!Learn How to Quit Smoking (and Make it Stick) 

[hiphouse]

The chest feeling is, for me, an anxiety/shock sort of feeling. I only get it when I'm automatically thinking a cigarette would be a good idea and then it hits me what I'm thinking - like I'm conscious about my unconscious actions, if that makes sense.  Like most things it passes quickly enough, but it's horrible when it happens.

I'm now 31 hours without a cigarette.  It's now 7am and I'm not agitated about wanting a cigarette, so that's a big improvement on yesterday.  Think it's helpful to have this site.  I only found yesterday morning after I had quit smoking for about 7 hours and was struggling.  It's great to have this support.

[hiphouse]

Just getting used to this blog thing and how it works!

Want to say a big THANK YOU to all those who have responded with supporting words and suggestions.  All taken on board.  Not as jittery this morning, but not exactly comfortable either - but it is doable and I'm really proud to have got to 31 hours.  I don't care at the minute that makes me sound like a 5 year old!.

Going for a walk really helped yesterday.  And the chocolate was good too.  I was really tired yesterday - the anxiety of keeping off the cigarettes was extraordinary.  I've had an extension for some work so I must complete that today.  Hopefully Sunday will be a day off.

In the meantime, I'm still marking off every hour on my sheet.  I've just written the numbers 1-24 on a line and just strike through the hour when it's finished.  It's a good feeling.

One of the best bits of reading was learning that a craving doesn't last more than 3 minutes, even if it feels longer.  That's been an incredible piece of knowledge for me.  Hopefully I'll find a few more to give me strength in the days ahead, but for now I'm grateful to be where I'm at.  Taking it a day/hour/minute at a time and I do know this is possible, which is keeping me calm.

One thing I am struggling with is reading about other people's experience or research that shows that X day is the worst (day 3 or 4) and that it's going to be WEEKS before the obsession goes.  I find that a bit depressing and for me, not very helpful (I'd rather be ignorant and just deal with the moment, though I appreciate that's just me).  I'm seriously just trying to keep things in the day. 

This morning I'm OK. No freak outs, like yesterday, when I suddenly remember I don't smoke any more.  That's progress! 

Hope everyone has a good day.

[hiphouse]

This has been the longest morning ever.  I'm seriously struggling to get my work done.  Every time I walk away from my desk as a distraction from lighting up - so I go into the kitchen, put the kettle on, make some tea, cook lunch [I know it's early but needs must LOL!] - then when I go back to the desk it hits me again - my thinking is telling me I need a cigarette.  I'm a bit bored of listening to this, but it's teaching me patience and tolerance, both of which I need to learn since I clearly have little of either.

Time is so slow, when I just want to mark off another hour... if I can just get another 15 minutes under my belt that's another bit of the foundation for getting a life free of tobacco, one day at a time.  Wish I wasn't so scared about hitting the 'wall' or whatever so many people have written about in Days 3 or 4 or whatever multiples of weeks. I really don't want to suffer for 4 months as has been mentioned on one of the blogs. 

Has anyone just steadily ploughed through the first few days without sinking into despair? 

Not that it really matters I guess. This is my journey.  I don't want to smoke again so I just have to suck it up and get on with it.  No point worrying about what I don't have any control over. 

Right, back to work!

[Giulia]

Some people have a rougher time with this than others.  It's really all about attitude.  The more you sit with "I wish I didn't have to quit," "I really like smoking,"  "God I feel like I'm missing something all the time..." - well the more you're gonna have a tough go of it.  One really has to accept the choice they've made.  And agree with it.  Not fight it every step of the way.  When those thoughts come into your head (and they will), just say "hello and goodbye!"  Easier said than done, I know.  But the more practice you have with it, the faster you'll be able turn your thinking around.  I liken it to looking at something outside and then turning your body 180 degrees in the e opposite direction.  The view changes completely.  What you dwell on is how your quit will go.  If you can't seem to dwell on the good things, at least don't sit in the well of smokey thoughts.  Because they WILL drown you.  We say "get up, get out"  because physically that helps.  But it's also true in that we have to get up and get out of our minds.  Shake it off.  And yes, SUCK IT UP!  You can do this thing.  Really you can.

PS - don't forget your sense of humor.  You're just quitting smoking, not base jumping off Mt. Everest.  

[hiphouse]

Thanks Giulia, good to have some feedback as I live alone and haven't yet told anyone I've stopped smoking. I'm beginning to realise that my thinking is one thing and the real me is the one who recognises that.  My thinking is telling me to smoke... it's quite obsessive and comes out of nowhere which is a bit of a surprise.  I'm doing OK in ignoring it, but it's quite tiring still.

I appreciate reading the information on this site, but realise that I need to take what is relevant to me and leave the rest.  I'm a "one day at a time" person, but clearly I'm too easily influenced by others writing about their journey's and the "terrors" of day X or YY.  I'm going to try and keep it simple.  Keep it in the day, not project into the future, and not give anything labels, since I'm on an ever changing journey.

I have a real belief that if you move a muscle you can change a thought.  It's going to be easier for me to do that tomorrow as I'm off work. I'm at the end of day 2 and it's the hours of 10-4 that are currently the biggest challenge (it was 7-4 yesterday, so I'm feeling positive).  Calm, not smug.  I'm accepting that a life without tobacco will be a good one.  And its what I want.  And I don't need to make a drama - just need to remind myself of that.

[Giulia]

"if you move a muscle you can change a thought."  I LIKE that!  Keep moving them muscles.

[elvan]

hiphouse‌ You are doing GREAT, keeping it simple and keeping it either in today or in the moment are the best you can do for now.  My thoughts were pretty obsessive at the beginning of my quit but the more time I spent on here and the more reading I did, the more I realized that I absolutely did not have to act on a crave.  I did not have to SMOKE.  There were times when I needed to drink a glass of water, do some jumping jacks, brush my teeth, take a shower, DISTRACT myself...but I did NOT have to smoke and I CHOSE and STILL CHOOSE NOT to!  

I don't know if you are not telling anyone because you don't feel close enough to them or you don't trust yourself but I can tell you that I told EVERYONE.  It seemed to solidify my quit and I got support from people and places I never expected.  It IS a journey but we DO have to keep it in today, one event or situation at a time.  Life is going to do what life is going to do...there will be good days and bad days but smoking is not relevant.  We make our own choices.

I am really happy to hear how well you are doing and I PROMISE you that if you stick with your quit and this site...it WILL get easier and I know it seems unlikely at the moment but there will come a day when you realize that you never even THOUGHT about smoking for an entire period of time...either at work or for an evening...it WILL happen.  I remember when it happened for me and I was completely stunned because THEN I knew it was real.

Best,

Ellen

[hiphouse]

I'm so grateful for the comments.  They really do help me, you have no idea! 🙂

Today has been a good day. I've been really busy doing productive stuff and that's made a huge difference.  I struggle with cravings when I'm sitting at my desk writing since it's almost automatic to head for the cigarettes when I had a mental block. Today was a non work day and it has been much easier. The craving has gripped me quite as much as it did.  And I haven't been clock watching to see if I can cross another hour off my daily achievement.

This is giving me confidence, but I am mindful that the craving can return and that I need to keep on the right track.  I'm not meeting up with people I know that do smoke. That can wait.  I did see a woman using a fake cigarette today and I was relieved not to have gone that route.  I know that sounds really smug, but if it stops me picking up a cigarette then I'll use it and promise to behave with a bit of maturity later!

I've been talking about quitting cigarettes for at least one year. I've bored people senseless (including myself) and of course I haven't stopped, until now.  I wanted to have some time under my belt so that I could show that I mean business this time, that it's not just a lot of hot air. 

I'm no longer bothered about having a 'bad' day...if it happens, it happens and I'll deal with. It's up to me to keep my mind clear, not get complacent, eat well, rest well and keep stress levels in check. Now that I've come to the end of a message, my brain is suggesting a cigarette.  I'm declining.

And there's always chocolate!

Thanks again for all the support.

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Your doing a fantastic job, hiphouse!  Keep it up.  Cravings will come and go, but you don't do that anymore.

Onward!!

[hiphouse]

Thank you.  I'm still waiting for work from my employer... it's late arriving and that doesn't bode well for my future finances . I'm freelance, so I'm very dispensible and the signs are not looking good.  So... I've been doing a bit of a spring clean of cupboards whilst I wait.  Moving packing cases and what do I find... an unopened packet of cigarettes!!  I've taken the cellophane off it without a thought, until I remember I don't smoke any more and I've just put them right back.  Wow... didn't enjoy that too much either.

I've already got myself another few hours work with another company, but need to keep another couple of lines of enquiry open too. These are all massive triggers that I didn't consider before, but as they say "You make a plan, God laughs"... bet he's rolling on the floor laughing right now.  So... another lesson - not just in patience and tolerance, but in commitment and humour too. 🙂

[Giulia]

Take that pack of cigarettes and put the under the sink tap!  Don't just put them back in the cupboard - tooooo tempting.  Besides, why keep them?  You don't do that any more, right?!!!  Some triggers we just don't become aware of until they're right in our faces.  So we have to improvise and stay fluid on the journey.  Experiment with different distractions.  If you've a strong commitment - nothing will shake it.  I didn't use a proper NRT, but I did wad up a wee bit of paper, stuff it into a straw and "pretend" smoked.  That DOES keep the hand-to-mouth behavior alive (which is not the best of ideas), but since there's nothing in it but air, it's not that tough to eventually wean yourself off of it.  Heck, I used to pretend smoke my own two fingers by holding them together like I had a cigarette between them and draw in a nice breath.  Sometimes something as simple as that will help take the edge off a craving.  We get a little stressed when we quit, and tend to take shallow breaths.  Taking those long, slow, deep breaths helps to relax us.  That's one of the reasons we say BREATHE.  If one can learn to breathe through pain, why not use the same technique to breathe through a craving.

[YoungAtHeart]

Chocolate is ALWAYS the answer - no matter the question! 

Boredom is one of the worst places you can be early in a quit.  Can you play a computer game, or do a crossword or jigsaw puzzle?  Put some music on and sing aloud, or dance to it?  March in place?  These early days take effort on your part, but it will be SO worth it at the end of the journey.

Life is grand when we don't smoke!

Mancy

[YoungAtHeart]

That would be "Nancy!"

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

I guarantee you that if you do not put that pack of cigarettes you found under the faucet, soak them with water, smash them up in your hands and throw them away you will smoke them.  It's just a matter of time.  The craving will get you and you are leaving that door open.  If you're not willing to destroy them, you are not serious about this quit of yours and you are simply wasting your time and putting yourself through unnecessary discomfort.

Get rid of them and then take a deep breath of relief.

Blog back when they're destroyed.

[hiphouse]

The cigarettes were soaked in water just after I posted my comment. I'm a bit surprised at some of the responses as I'm not sure what I wrote to warrant such passion!

I'm not struggling with the cravings to any great extent.  I'm uncomfortable, but I'm accepting that's the way it is and my expectations were that it would be tricky at times and it is - the unknown triggers that would have made me reach for a cigarette are those when I fear I'll lose what I have or won't get what I think I need, which is were the work contract issue came in today.  I've been sucking on candy, eaten chocolate and since I have 3 dogs, a cat, a house to renovate (mud floors and ceilings) and a job that eats up much of the day when the work arrives there really is no time for boredom.

I'm refusing to take on any habit that mimics a cigarette or smoking in any way - for me, that's a bit of a head wreck, I'd prefer to find totally new ways to behave.  And watching my breathing is one of them as for me, it's important I keep as calm as possible.  I'm finding the work of Eckhart Tolle particularly helpful.

Thanks for the support. Keep calm and carry on!

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

RE:  "I'm not sure what I wrote to warrant such passion!"

You wrote, "... what do I find... an unopened packet of cigarettes!!  I've taken the cellophane off it without a thought, until I remember I don't smoke any more and I've just put them right back."  My understanding was that you put the unopened pack of cigarettes back were you found it, (and were you would be able to find it again.)

Sorry if I got overly excited.  I know you are still early on your journey and that temptation has a way of being very, very patient but also very persistent.  Leave the door open and it will walk through.

Good for you for soaking those little bass terds.  = )

[hiphouse]

Thanks for the feedback, I can see why the reactions were as they were. I did think for a couple of minutes that I would keep them for a friend who is a smoker, but realised that was too big a risk which is why I soaked them in a bowl of water and put them straight in the garbage can. I guess I was a bit surprised as I'm really working hard to keep as calm and relaxed as possible so that it's easier to fend off thoughts of a cigarette and I sensed some anxiety in the replies. Which I now understand.

Work appeared at 16:30 this evening, so I'm now working on that. Believe me when I say that boredom is not an issue. I live alone, have a half-acre small-holding, multiple pets and a house that's more hovel than home right now so there's no time to navel gaze, thank goodness!

And for me, right now, chocolate is the answer... as long as I eat something healthy first, to stop blood sugar highs and crashes. So I've made up a huge bowl of ratatouille and got enough in to make multiple Shopska salads, which I love.

Thanks again for all the support. It's now almost 8pm on day 4.  It's not over til my head hits the pillow tonight, but I'm pleased to have got through to day 4 and I REALLY DO appreciate being able to come here to update, stay on track and have input.

Thank you!

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Hope it comes soon for you and wishing you a well-deserved good night!

zzzzzz

[elvan]

Good for you!  I tried more than once to keep cigarettes around when I quit...those were failed quits.  I hope you hear from your employer soon, I am sure than financial security is weighing on you, please remember that smoking would not help.  Get some rest and congratulations on keeping your quit.

Ellen

[SkyGirl]

Next time you have the opportunity, please go to a site called "whyquit.com" and look in the top left corner of the homepage for a link to an article titled "Nicotine Addiction 101".  

I know you said that you were the kind of guy who doesn't really want to know what's ahead, and prefer to handle things as they occur (at least I think that's what you said).  But during the first few weeks you will experience (as we all did) many different thoughts and feelings.  

This article will explain to you exactly how the drug nicotine affects your brain, how it actually physically alters the receptors in your brain, and how those changes in your brain cause you to BELIEVE that you "love" smoking, that you "need" smoking, how smoking "relaxes" and "calms" you.  Your nicotine-addicted brain tells you that those things ARE true.  In reality, smoking does NONE of those things for you.

Understanding nicotine addiction will allow you to recognize the addition-driven thoughts and feelings.  It helps you to step outside those thoughts and feelings.  You can become more an observer of your own emotions and thoughts.  And THAT enables you to handle them in the best way for your Quit.

Let me know what you think of this article.  You are doing great, keep it up!

[hiphouse]

Thank you for the article. I had read this earlier, before quitting, which is where I got the idea to take one day at a time and not listen take my thinking too seriously. I do get cravings, but I recognise them for what they are. I also recognise that cigarettes are poison.

I've wanted to stop smoking for more than a year, so I'm not caught out by the "love" smoking.  Stress was always my trigger to pick up a cigarette, so that's my challenge - to let the thought of a cigarette pass through me, with me as an observer only.  Deep breathing helps. Knowing that the thought will pass is vital, to me.  It's all working.

Only weird thing is, my sleep is badly affected.  I'm waking up at 2am and 5am every day since I stopped smoking 4 days ago. Does this happen to anyone else? I'm hoping it will all settle back down as I've never had a sleeping problem in my life before.

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Restless sleep is a common side effect of quitting smoking.  You're brain is still crying for nicotine even in your sleep.  We've had lot's of great stories of vivid dreams we've had about smoking after we've quit.  They can seem very real and cause you to wake up in a panic.  I think the term here is smokemares.  They too, pass.

[elvan]

hiphouse‌ A significant number of people who are in recovery say they have sleep issues for a while...some worse than others.  There are also people who find that they are sleepy all the time.  Your body is in recovery and you are experiencing the aftereffects of the nicotine.  I think you are doing great, it sounds like you were prepared and that's a really positive thing.  Keep taking it one day at a time...sometimes it has to be a shorter period like an hour or a minute.   I found deep breathing helpful and I also found drinking cold water to help me distract from craves and allow my system to recover.

Ellen

[hiphouse]

Wow, I didn't know that about sleep being disrupted.  I'm really tired, and I'm not good when I'm tired!  My work is stressful in that I'm on short deadlines and currently I don't know when the next job is coming in.  I could see that things weren't going well for the company I freelance for, so I have been applying for other work... just in case.  I've been offered a job one day a week starting in July and yesterday I had to pull together a specific CV for another job.  Both these cases would have had me running for the cigarettes as a "breather" from the stress and a chance to take 5 minutes to consider what I was writing etc.  So, I've gone back to a couple of "surprise attacks" of wanting a cigarette. It's not a craving as such - in that it goes away OK - it's just such a shock when the subconscious thought explodes into the open!

Today I haven't been able to go out for a long walk due to work deadline which will take me to bedtime. Off out working with others tomorrow and likely my first time spending time with smokers - though they don't know me as a smoker so there will be no nonsense of "Oh, go on... have one"!

Realising that I must have time out, away from my chores and work on a daily basis to make life easier.  Didn't get it right today and paid the price in terms of stress. But smoke free still.  I'm not struggling as much as day 1 and 2, but on a steady plane for now and hoping that gets a little easier, but my life is so chaotic now that it's tricky.  I don't have to change the world in a day.  I know what I need to do.  Keep it in the day. Keep breathing. Keep it simple.  And log in to this fabulous support group that keep me on the straight and narrow.

I've been eating so much today!  Took 30 minutes out from writing to eat some more (lunch!) and I watched a YouTube clip of something and had a bit of a weep.  I needed to get the stress out and feel better for it.  Don't want to come across as some sort of saint here.  I'm eating too much chocolate, feel dreadfully tired and highly stressed.  But I know a cigarette's not going to make any difference apart from hit my cash balance, though to be honest, I've spent more on chocolate in the last 5 days that I would have spent on tobacco LOL!!

Onwards and upwards.  I'm not going to smoke again!

[Bree19]

Chocolate?  Where?

Chocolate fixes everything but only for a short spell sadly.

😉 Bree xxx

[Puff-TM-Draggin]

Believe it or not, you are soooo normal.  You are doing/experiencing this much as we all did.  Your doing all right and just fine!

[elvan]

hiphouse‌ You are really doing SO WELL.  I am proud of you, recognizing the surprise attacks this early in your quit is awesome.  KNOWING that smoking would not really change anything is absolutely imperative.  Don't worry about the chocolate...best of luck with the job situation.  I am very proud of you and happy for you.  

Ellen

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Oh, Good! Another Eckhart Tolle fan! What a tremendous advantage you have in your Quit Journey! Stay in the moment and learn from others' Quit Journeys but know that yours belongs to you and you get to decide how it is Today! If you don't like the moment just decide that the next moment - now- is different! And it is! Simple, not easy!

[hiphouse]

There is some misunderstanding I think.  I am not an Eckhart Tolle fan. I take on information from a wide range of sources to guide me in my life.  This can include sayings from religious texts including HIndi, Islam and Christianity - but I do not follow any one particular doctrine.

In other news, if I can stay off cigarettes today, which is my plan, then it will be one week since I stopped smoking. I didn't post yesterday because I've plateaued and not much has changed. I get moments of anxiety still.  I am eating too much, but I appreciate this will calm down in time.  Good to do the weekly shop yesterday and again not buy any tobacco... bought a tonne of candy instead!

It looks as though I may soon be ending work in my main job as the work is no longer there.  This is a seriously big deal for me as I do not have access to any social support. I've had two jobs run side-by-side for the last couple of years, each being about 30 hours a week.  One of these jobs ended at the end of March this year.  I've replaced it, so far, with an 8 hour job.  Now it looks like my other 30 hour job is soon to end. I've already updated my CV, now time to get it sent out. I write content for websites so hope that someone will be willing to give me a chance. Don't need to smoke on it of course... and really can't afford to!

[elvan]

hiphouse  I really hope you are able to find some gainful employment...keep in mind that smoking increases stress rather than decreasing it and you're right, you can't really afford it right now.  I hope you are able to find something soon.  Congratulations on your success so far.

Ellen

[hiphouse]

I've been craving a cigarette or 10 all day.  My thinking has been obsessive. This morning it was confirmed that my second job is ending.  As of now!!  I've cried a lot (self-pity and fatigue) and that's helped clear the fog a little.  I've updated my CV and applied for two jobs.  I've also given my CV to a friend who may be able to help me find another job. I've lost two big jobs in three months.  One job I've had since 2013, the other since 2015.

More job searching tomorrow. So help me God!

[elvan]

hiphouse  I am so sorry about the job, that's so frustrating...you KNOW that smoking would not change that situation.  See what is available, since you work on line, if I understand you, you don't have to limit yourself to Bulgaria.  You should be able to look world wide for something.  I know it has to be daunting but I really believe that something will happen for you.  As for the craving, I was obsessed early in my quit too, I remember wondering if I would EVER stop thinking about smoking, I felt like I was consumed.  I KNEW smoking would not help anything but I had to keep reminding myself of that over and over again.  I came here every morning and every evening and I counted on this site and the people here to help me and I was not let down.  

Something is out there for you and it is going to be all the better that you don't smoke.  Hang on, take deep breaths, drink lots of water, tire yourself out, physically with exercise.  It will release dopamine and lift your mood.  You CAN do this.

Ellen

[hiphouse]

It's a week since I posted.  I'm now two weeks without a cigarette and it's a whole new world.  I still have thoughts about smoking (and am accepting that will likely be always the way, but I just choose not to take that path) and it's easier.

Life goes on and smoking won't help any.  I've got to have root canal treatment - smoking has damaged my teeth.  One root canal done this morning.  other due to be done in 12 days. 

Still not got another full time job, but three interviews completed. Have one job for one day a week starting in 6 weeks. I'm selling furniture to cover bills and costs.  It's a bit crazy!

So grateful to have this site to get me through the first week of craving and obsession around cigarettes.  I'll stick around!

[ChangoGrande]

Glad your'e still here, hiphouse‌!  And glad that you're still smoke free!  

Sorry to hear about the root canals, but glad you are able to get them done.

Good luck with finding another job.  Do you have more interviews pending, or are you still expecting a response from one of the previous interviews?

Eric

[elvan]

hiphouse  So glad that you are smoke free.  You are getting quite the test right now, just think, if you can do this, you can do ANYTHING.  Those craves will eventually slow down and get weaker and weaker.  Eventually, they will become memories and not craves.  The beginning is the hardest and you are doing a magnificent job.  I am really, really proud of you and happy for you.  I hope that the job market opens up and something good comes your way.

Best to you,

Ellen

[MarilynH]

Congratulations on your 2 glorious wks of smoke free living and counting, you're doing this quit one precious smoke free day at a time. 

[hiphouse]

I am grateful to be able to have the dental work done - I've had to sell my rocking chair to pay for won and waiting for a buyer for my sofa to pay for the other.  That's what life is like right now.

I don't have more interviews pending, though am searching daily. One interview I don't expect to be offered the job as my skills base doesn't quite match what they are asking for - it was a poorly worded advert.  The other interview the test is being assessed and then I'll hear.

You would think there would be a lot of content writing jobs around, but it's a crowded market and it really is a case of who you know, rather than what you know, to be able to get through the door!

Hope I get a job soon, I've not got much left to sell!

Onwards and upwards!

[hiphouse]

Thank you for all the positive comments.  It's been a tough couple of weeks dealing with unemployment, job seeking and unexpected dental bills. Can't believe I've been pushed to the point of having to sell furniture.  How quickly life can turn around.  I've really cried a lot, but still here and not smoking either so it's not all doom and gloom.

It really is good to have online support when it's all a bit overwhelming.

No need to smoke ever again - HURRAH!

Thank you!

[ChangoGrande]

I do hope the job search goes quickly for you.  I've been in that spot before--no money and not sure where I'm going to get it--so I do understand how that feels.  One thing that I learned in the process--if you keep doing what you need to do every day, one foot in front of the other, it does work out.  Maybe not quite the way you would have wanted, but still good (and, for me one time, even better).  Keep on keeping on!

Eric

[Giulia]

Hoping your days of unemployment end soon!  Think of how much money you're saving by not smoking!  And though it's too late for two of your teeth, staying smoke-free will help protect the rest!  Stick with it.  You're doing GREAT!

[hiphouse]

Thank you for continued good wishes. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself.  I've not yet saved much money from smoking as it's all gone on food!

It's as though all the calcium is being leeched out of my teeth.  I'm having X-rays in a couple of weeks (if I can sell my sofa) to see what's going on as they are dying in my gums.  It's a horrible feeling and my smile is one of the best things about me, and it's disheartening to have these difficulties that have only come up in the last couple of months.

No news from the two job interviews this week.  Confirmation of the one-day a week job starting 22 July, but that's it so far.

Onwards and upwards!