Day One...

[elyssa]

.......blah. I'm at work and literally all I can do is hang out on becomeanex.com. I hope my boss is not getting mad at me, because I really feel like this is all I can do right now! If I stop even for a second, I start thinking about smoking, and if I've learned anything from quitting before, thinking is the enemy. It's like being the five year old in your room at night...if your head is under the covers, and you can't see the monster, the monster can't see you. I'm squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as possible and hoping the fucking monster goes away.

I almost wish that I hadn't pledged to stay smoke-free today on that stupid pledge group. All my brain is screaming is: "Come on, one more day won't matter! It's just one day! Quit tomorrow!" But I've been listening to that for a week now. It's never one more day.

I just want to go home and crawl under the covers. Maybe I'll do that when I get home. God, I can't even think straight right now. It's like everything is underwater. Reactions are slower, everything seems farther away, sounds are muffled....I've been through this before, but that doesn't help this feeling. I wish I were sleeping right now. Sleep through the first three days.....

[alex7]

hand in there i am on day 10 and still feel that way its sucks a$$. but we can do it.

[rachel-english]

Hang in there.... I am day 5 still have a monkey on my back but it is bugging me less..... please if you need support let me know.

[jen30]

Don't give in. You are right when you say it is never one more day. Just think about getting through the next 10 minutes and work at it from there. I am also on day 1, can't think too far ahead...adds stress.

If you can go home and sleep- it wouldn't hurt. Good luck and don't give in!

[rj_]

Hey all you newbies, congrats on getting started, yes the first few days are tough, drink lotsa acidic type juice, cranberry, orange, grape, also water, also watch caffene intake, the juice will help flush out the nicotine faster as will the water, Caffene has 2x effect on you as nicotine falls off so the nervous effects can hit you harder from the caffene,
Dont be afraid to hang out and read, and blog, encourage each other and you will find that peace comes,
you will not believe how mellow and stress less you are once you are free and not jonesing for a fix every little while
Best to All,
RJ...Free at Last 486 days, after 32+yrs of feeding the addiction.

[elyssa]

Geez...thank you everyone so much! I've been on this website (obsessively) for hours and your kindness is a little overwhelming. I'm so crazy emotional. Your comments almost made me cry (but I know if I start crying here I'm never going to stop and, hey, crying is a trigger....).

Thank you all so much.

[alex7]

i had those puffs today and then i felt awful. i was like shit i messed up its over. then i got on her got alot of support from everyone and said f%&k that that mother f%&king demon is not doing to win this war.

so my day got a little better. tonight we are going to the movies as a family cause i need to get out of the house, plus with the money i have saved not smoking it pays for the tickets.

So don't give up you get up on the horse and look forward never backwards.
i'll be here if u need someone to talk to.

[rj_]

hey I read the whyquit site for hours and hours at a time, I also cried like a baby, slept like a rock, and ate like a horse, and killed a box of coffee stir straws, WHATEVER IT TAKES....to Never take another puff.

[christine2007]

Maybe something more physical (oh, especially at work!) like tap dancing? LOL How about singing along to opera?! Have some fun with your quit. Be creative. And, keep your whole body involved in the process. You CAN do this~

[claudia2]

Elyssa,
I am new in my quit also. It will be two weeks Sat., but I still stay on this site and listen to the people that know where we have been.
Are you going cold turkey??? You should really have a little baggie made up with somethings to help you thru your urges. I like cinnamon mints, some like wintergreen mints. But do as they say and flush you body of the nicotine. Drink as much water and juice that you can and avoid coffee.
This site you be your life saver. The people here are awesome. You would not believe how many comments I have copied and pasted just to look back on.
Join groups and keep blogging and welcome to EX and keep making your daily pledge...it does make you know that you have committed for those 24 hours!
Keep up the good work!

[elyssa]

Thanks Claudia. Yes, I'm doing it cold turkey (I've tried with the patch and nicotine gum before and it was worse), but I do have my house stocked with lots of healthy snack food. When I quit before, I carried baggies of grapes with me everywhere and that was really helpful, but I haven't gotten any yet.
Thanks for your suggestions!

[a.d.]

I know exactly what you mean. I clung to this site, let other things go, and I cursed myself for signing that pledge. But really it's a gift, because I thought of it when I wanted to relapse.

I feel so much better physically today! Maybe I will take up tap dancing.

[denise6]

It really does make a difference if you take the daily pledge! I had a really bad day and that pledge kept me strong. I have also cried like a baby. My husband didn't know what to do with me.

[edith2]

Take one minute at a time if you have to. Just keep remembering that this horrible part of your quit it temporary. I've never known of anyone dying from quitting. Only from not quitting. You're going to get through this and come out of it smelling like a rose. When I went through this tough part, I made a decision not to forget it to help prevent me from having to go through it again. This is my fourth quit and I don't want to quit ever again!