Well... I'm back. Obviously after a painfully learned lesson in making this quit a lasting one! I had actually forgotten all about this site, and forgot what lead me to start smoking again after my last visit here. Over 500 days ago... man, two more years of destroying myself with cigerettes just slipped right by. I NEED TO DO THIS!!! I can remember, very fondly, of the year and a half I quit smoking so long ago. I was happier. I was healthier. I had energy. I could breathe. Every time I think about quitting smoking since then I am appauled at myself for breaking that quit. Reading through my last blogs I was in tears at my own strength, and now, a bit humbled and embarrassed that I let myself down, I'm ready to give this a lasting shot. I quit today at 8am, yep, an entire 17 minutes without a cigerette. Go me! lol. The last two weeks I have had the worst cold I can ever remember. My lungs ached like a sore throat. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and die, it hurt so badly. All the while, still smoking. But inside, I couldn't help but to remember watching my dad die of emphysema and C.O.P.D. I couldn't help but to think, if this cold is this miserable, how miserable are the last years of my life going to be? I don't want to die like that. I don't want to live like that! In two weeks I will be 30 years old... and I will always be two weeks smoke free!!! I can do this, I know I can, and I know when I think I can't that I have this community of people that don't even know me caring enough to cheer me on. I have to do this now, the alternative is not an option!
