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Day 7, oh the wine (whine?)

emomma25
Member
1 28 332

Here at day 7 and it's hard to believe it's gone as quickly as it has!  Last night was a little rough, I was really missing my glass of wine (or 2) with my smokes in the evening after the kiddo is in bed and I get to relax.  As a disclaimer, I've never smoked in the house so this is all outside smoking 🙂  I also had a friend texting me about the good old days ( I guess we thought they were good, they were fun for sure although the smoking wasn't good for us) of going out on the weekends without a care in the world outside of getting stuck in a long line for a burrito at the end of the night.  Ah, burritos....mmm...ahem, sorry about that, back to the post.  I realized that part of what has been really hard for me in the past and even some now is that in some twisted way I saw giving up smoking as giving up being younger and giving up my freedom to do whatever I wanted.  I guess I thought that keeping some part of the habits that I had back then still kept me young even though I know all the way smoking ages you and would likely put me in an early grave.  I suppose that is part of addiction's twisted thinking.  So far I've just been abstaining from any alcohol as it is far and away my strongest trigger and plan to do so for at least another week or so.  Anyone have any thoughts or experiences with the alcohol trigger, how they dealt with it and how long it was before they could take a drink without feeling like they would die without a cigarette?

28 Comments
sophia-22
Member

Good morning I waited three weeks into my quit to go socializing where alcohol was involved. I limited myself to two drinks so that I would keep most of my brain sober enough to beware of any triggers. I am fortunate in the sense that I don't have any close friends that smoke. Most never smoked or have quit. You have to be very vigilant as it's easy to romanticize certain cigarettes and forget about all the other thousands that go with that one cigarette. Remember the law of addiction "One Equals All".   

The books "Freedom from Nicotine", "Never Take Another Puff" and the Allen Carr book "Easy Way to Stop Smoking"  give excellent advice on alcohol and quitting smoking. Below is the whyquit.com website. Scroll to the bottom for the books.

WhyQuit - #1 quit smoking site 

Have a great smoke free day!

Linda

crazymama_Lori

I gave up drinking for 2 months before I had my first glass of wine at a get-together.  I only had one glass because I knew what kind of trouble I would get into, the lower inhibitions and all that.  You know....... you could always get sparkling duck, that nonalcoholic wine for a beverage when the kids go to bed OR you can think of something you totally enjoy and the kids shouldn't have and endulge.  It could be a favorite candy, whatever.  OR you can listen to your favorite music without being interrupted.  I think that's the kicker, the few moments when you are not interrupted, the house is quiet, peace has returned to the universe.  I remember what it was like with small children running around.  That is your me time.  Maybe go out and buy yourself a foot spa and do that every night.  We all have rituals that we go through to relax and smoking as associated with those rituals.  You just have to take the smoking out of the equation.

MarilynH
Member

Congratulations on your 7 precious smoke free days and counting WTG, I think you should refrain from alcohol until you feel 100 % secure in your quit. I say that from personal experience because I lost a great quit after a couple of months thinking that it would be fine but I had one too many drinks and ruined it and I continued to smoke for another decade or so now I have over 2 and a half yrs in and you can and will too, congrats again on your new found Freedom.....

Mortalzeus
Member

Very well done!  Congrats on 7 DOF.  Alcohol is my biggest trigger as well and I gave it up after a 7 day practice quit ended in failure when I had one beer.  103 DOF today and I really haven't missed the alcohol at all, so, for now, I have no idea if I will ever have a sip. 

RachelMB
Member

Congrats on getting through the first week!  That's huge!  I have an occasional glass of wine on the weekends now.  I never have more than one and sometimes I don't drink at all.  I'm not comfortable being out in a bar drinking even after 105 days.  I just don't want to lose my quit.   I really think the key is replacing your me time with something else relaxing.  This is all a process and you are doing wonderfully my friend!  Stay close!

Rachel

susan_m
Member

Congratulations on surviving hell week!  Heck week is so much easier!!

Oh, alcohol.  Here's my take - and none of us are wrong - we are all right for our own quits:

Some of us are dangerously triggered by alcohol, some are not.  The most important thing is for you to be in a comfortable place to test the waters and be sure that you are in control of your quit.  More than that, you have to be truly, truly honest with yourself and willing to suffer through a brutal trigger to maintain your quit.

Or, you might find that it is not an issue for you.  

Be sure you're ready before you try... none of us can tell you if you are ready; that is up to you.  

Mike.n.Atlanta

Congratulations on kickin "Hell Weeks" ash. Ya dun good.

I gave up alcohol, Coca-Cola & sweet tea for a year because they were such a huge triggers for me. But that's just me. Now I'm sitting on a 12 year 4 month quit. Not just because I gave those things up but because I held my quit before all else. You can get here too just keep this quititude that nothing will get in the way of your quit. Be selfish.

See ya around & keep on keepin on,

M n @

elvan
Member

Congratulations on completing Hell Week.  I am not sure where I read it but I thought I was advised not to drink for five months...that might be a little excessive.  I am not a drinker so it really didn't bother me.  I ended up waiting six months and attending a pool party where I KNEW there would be beer and smokers.  I had two beers and almost reached for a pack of cigarettes that were my brand, sitting on the table with a lighter...it was then that I excused myself and said I needed to go home. I was disappointed because two people I knew had quit smoking a while before had started again, I had planned to sit with them. Oh, to top it all off, I wore a brand new white blouse as a swim suit cover up, it was beautiful, I hung it on the back of my chair and when I got home, I noticed a huge burn hole right in the middle of the back.  I am sure that no one did it on purpose but it sure was disappointing.  I think you need to keep alcohol intake at a minimum and you need to be absolutely sure there are no cigarettes available if you do have a glass of wine.  

TerrieQuit
Member

Hello, Of course, this is just me and my opinion, take the best and leave the rest. Drinking lowers inhibitions on everything. This is why I will be sober 5 years on March 1rst. But NMW we must put our quits up front and guard them with all of our might! 57 days ago I lost my quit of 519 days on impulse and today I have 56 days, but that's just me, everyone's quit is different, but like Giulia‌ says another day won is better than another day one! Please protect your quit!

Congratulations on 7 days!    ~Terrie~

kristen-9-7-15

I didn't drink alcohol for a VERY long time in the beginning of my quit.  I stuck with water and pop   Congrats on 1 week!

Giulia
Member

Booze is the quickest quit killer I know.  

I've just been abstaining from any alcohol as it is far and away my strongest trigger

And you know it too.  Trust your instincts.  They're right!  The booze isn't going anywhere.  There will be time for drinking when you're more secure in your quit.  You might read https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/message/30671-the-drinking-trap?sr=search&searchId=8cf88a0a-63af-...‌.

Jennifer-Quit
Member

You are doing great - not a bad idea to avoid the alcohol for a little while.  Let me know if I can help!

NewMe
Member

I think the trigger is a personal issue, and many of us are slightly different. I can't remember how long I abstained from alcohol, but I think it was a bit over 3 months, and then I went out for my birthday with friends. Turns out, I was not triggered by alcohol, and I generally stick to no more than 2 drinks when I go out. But if you feel that alcohol is dangerous to your quit, trust your instincts. I think we all have a bit of an internal gauge to guide our behavior, if we are willing to listen to it. It is good advice to look around for a new way to do something special for yourself, whether it's a movie, an at-home spa treatment or whatever you can think of as a safe way to relax and unwind until you are a bit more secure in your quit. Meanwhile, congratulations making it through hell week. You are doing great!

MarilynH
Member

I suggest you refrain from alcohol until you feel comfortable in your quit because many of us have lost a perfectly beautiful quit to one drink to many thinking that just one cigarette wouldn't hurt when in reality we must stick with N.O.P.E Not One Puff Ever - which will give us a beautiful life of Freedom.....

Sootie
Member

Oh I so HEAR you!!!! I had the same problem in my quits all my life. In some STRANGE, TWISTED way......I had managed to tie smoking to being young, being daring, having fun. Nothing, of course, is farther from the truth and thank goodness smoking is becoming so passe that I now see it as something older people do because they HAVE to....they're addicted! But not me...not anymore. I''m free and you are going to be also.

Stay strong...there is nothing "young" about smoking.

tommiei
Member

Woo Hoo!! Congrats on your first 7 days and many more to come your way. I never drank much so I did not have an issue with that. My triggers were coffee, after a meal was the worst. I remember not wanting to get up from the table and just kept nibbling on things. But as time went on I was able to stay smoke free. I will be 4 years smoke free on May 19th. My husband still smokes but it stinks so bad I never have an urge to want to smoke nor want to be around him after he smokes.  So stay STRONG and before you know it 1 month will have gone by. Celebrate those achievements, with the money you are saving by not buying cigarettes and buy yourself something new. 

bonniebee
Member

You have lots of comments and helpful advice so I will first welcome you to EX and congratulate  you on your first 7 days we call it Hell week now you enter heck week    Keep your attitude positive and you will be fine !

About the alcohol I don't drink anymore. I gave it up a long time ago but I did my share of drinking in my younger years and when I drank I would sometimes smoke up to 3 packs in that day.... One whole pack on a drinking evening out plus my 2 regular packs ......... Wow How was that even possible but sadly it was !  ex quit 10 kitty.jpg 

My advice is to wait until you feel pretty secure in your quit A few drinks can really lessen ones resolve to commitment ! It would be easy to feel tempted and say ah one won't hurt but yes it will and even if you stop after one ( I wouldn't try it ! ) you will then have to fess up and go back to day one ! No more day one for you !

I suggest green tea you can get decaf or hot chocolate anything you can make as a new special treat to relax with .I would definitely hold off on the wine . You know yourself best . Some people have to give up coffee in the morning I never did  but funny thing is I have now lost my taste for it I haven't even had any for two days now !

emomma25
Member

Thanks so much for all the helpful comments!  Well, I did it.  I had the wine.  I think that part of going through this experience is going through it honestly so I will completely level with you all.  I had to go to the store to get more milk because we were completely out.  I think my son is about to grow another 6 inches or something because he managed to plow through an entire gallon in about 5 days.  So I went to the store and thought I would buy a bottle of pinot, have a glass and see how it goes.  Here it comes....I bought cigarettes.  I had every intention of having a glass or two, telling my husband that it wasn't any big deal for me to have some and just have one or two, that doing that was my plan all along and that I could drink every now and again and just be that occasional smoker.  I am happy to report that I DID NOT SMOKE any.  The pack is still unopened and I do not know what happened to it, I asked my husband to get rid of it.  God Bless him for reminding me how well I'd been doing and holding me to my quit.  And thank you to you all, thinking of you and having to come here and say that I smoked, even just one was a big part of not actually opening the cigarettes.  I also kept running all the comments and lessons from everyone here through my head and I credit it a lot with helping me keep my resolve.  While I'm pretty proud of myself for having almost two glasses of wine without smoking, it was obviously a close call and I think I'll probably try to wait a bit before attempting the noble experiment again.  Seriously, thank you so much!  Happy and relieved that today is day 8 and not day 1 (again).

Does anyone know if you can return unopened cigarettes?  Hopefully no one does because no one is buying any!!!

Mike.n.Atlanta

Soak em & throw em in the trash.

Now...this very minute!

emomma25
Member

I would, but like I said, they are gone and I don't know what my husband did with them.  But I don't have access to them anymore!

MarilynH
Member

Deep breaths emomma25, you can and will succeed please remember N. O. P. E. Not One Puff Ever  - will give you a life that's Free from the clutches of the cancer sticks, try to keep your mind as well as your hands occupied, you can and will be successful one precious day at a time. 

Mike.n.Atlanta

This isn't just about getting rid of the cigarettes. This whole blog was about the wine being a trigger. With only a weeks quit under your belt you not only go out & buy bullets but bought the gun too. I think wine is not the trigger. You have to be ready to do this. You can't play at quitting. Sacrifices are to be made if you want to succeed. We all want you to win at this & we're all here to help so please use us. We see so many here do exactly as you have done with much less favorable outcomes. Please don't jeopardize your quit, protect it with all you have in you. It's that fragile.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

susan_m
Member

No more coffee needed - I am wide awake now and my heart (honest to God) started beating fast when I read that you'd bought cigarettes.  Congratulations on not smoking!  Most of all, I am so glad that you established your boundaries and now know the answer.  Give yourself lots of time before you dip your toes in the water again.

And, where do you shop?  If this comes up again, I will camp out at the store to make sure you don't buy them.  

❤️

emomma25
Member

I admit that I got overconfident.  By being here and doing the earlier work it had been pretty easy for me to deal handily enough with every other trigger and I guess I thought that maybe this one would be the same.  Clearly a mistake and one that I won't make again.  I do take this seriously, I apologize if I gave the implication that I'm not or that I'm somehow making a mockery of it.  Even before fully committing so quitting I was someone who could go a day or two without having any, then smoke for a week, then a couple days off again so I guess I thought I was stronger than I am.

Mike.n.Atlanta

No one is saying you're weak. We are all much stronger than we would have ourselves believe. Sometimes early on we may think it's easy. I know my first 2 weeks were great but as time went on & I got to the 3 month range it began to get difficult. That was "No Man's Land". The new has worn off & it's time to settle down & get back to life. Those will be the times that try one's quit. Just know that you can get past all of that by practicing NOPE. Not One Puff Ever. You have to live it. There will come the time when you understand that it was all as simple as just not smoking. Just don't smoke.

"An urge is not a command & will go away even if you don't act on it" ~ A friend

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

Jennifer-Quit
Member

No such thing as one!  You are at the stage where you will hear little voices that say it is OK to have just one - but it is a lie!

Giulia
Member

Mike.n.Atlanta‌ made some excellent points.  I would just add -  find out what your husband did with that pack of cigarettes.  If he didn't throw them out, ask him to give it to you and YOU take them and put them under the sink tap.  This will help reinforce your commitment and decision.  If you still want one, you're still vulnerable.  And will remain so until you no longer want one.

I was someone who could go a day or two without having any, then smoke for a week, then a couple days off again

This is a very potent addiction.  It's at the top of the list along with Heroin and Crack.  We all wish we could just be social smokers and smoke one here and there.  Ain't possible for the majority of us.  Glad you escaped the bullet.  

RoaringLion
Member

Alcohol is the strongest trigger as well and for me, I gave up alcohol to go with it.  I'm sure that's not the answer you were hoping, but the two are like Oreos and milk!  So, screw them both. I've switched to Golden Moon organic teas, vitamins, herbs and yoga.  I tried so many times to keep wine in my life, but after a glass, it was impossible not to want to smoke and I'd break every time.  Sick of that cycle, despite missing a glass or two of wine. I wish you the best 🙂

About the Author
I'm married and mother to a wonderful 19 month old boy. I love cooking, playing with my baby, and reading. I'm quitting for my son and my husband, I want to be there with them for the long haul!