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Share your quitting journey

Day 56 of No Smoking

vicky_k
Member
1 6 190
‎03-25-2022 10:07 AM

Day 56 of No Smoking 

I had a terrible night last night, I had an argument with my boyfriend, and I really wanted to smoke last night!!!    It was a close call.     

I talked myself out of going out buying cigarettes, I was saying to myself that I was doing so good, and now the argument gets me very angry and upset.   I really thought about buying a pack of Marlboro lights, but I stopped myself.   

How come whenever I have a disagreement, the anger is so strong that I wanted to smoke and hurt myself?!!!  Good news is I did not buy any cigarettes at all.     I will be going out later on today to get a massage, since I really feel tense and needed a massage.   

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6 Comments
About the Author
I have been smoking since I was in my twenties, and I have been sobered for 23 years. I quitted smoking for over a year until last October 2021, due to my boss has pile on a lot of work my way, I have developed major anxiety and panic attack. Ultimately, I had to quit my job to save my own life. I went to my primary care physician, and my blood pressure was very high. I had to make a choice to quit my job to save my own life. One of my colleagues told me that I was the backbone of the department, and he really appreciated my hard work. I was working as a Commercial Loan Administrator, and I have to extract certain information from the legal agreements and input in the Loan IQ system. The management does not care about the people working in the Operation Department. Majority of my colleagues told me that I am the most responsive and knowledgeable person in the department. I felt very angry that they put so much work on my plate and forced me to quit my job. I was no longer happy working in my job. That caused me to pick up smoking again, and I know it is not good for my health. Smoking only exacerbate my anxiety. I am praying and hoping that this website will help me quit smoking for good. I should not use smoking as a coping mechanism. I believe this is not a coincidence, and it happened for a reason which I do not have a clue right now, but I believe that God has a better plan for me going forward, and this is the time for me to do some soul searching and taking care of my body. I believe as time goes by; I will find a more suitable job that is not that stressful, and I do not have to work crazy hours. I will keep my fingers crossed.