Day 5 😢 .🤯 .😡

[lacimae84]

This is so much harder than I imagined it would be. On Day 2 I told my boyfriend that this won't be so hard. I didn't feel that bad. A little restless and drained but over all not that bad. Then Day 4 and 5 roll around. I mean Jesus!!!! I've cried two days in a row over nothing, I can't think straight, my eyes hurt, my sleep has been shit, I'm exhausted, my stomach is in knots  and my anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I'm losing it big time. I'm using Wellbutrin, the patch and the gum. I can't even imagine trying cold turkey. No wonder so many people go back without the help of meds. My hat is off to anyone who can do it cold turkey! I've thought about going back so many times today. It kinda made me feel ashamed. I keep feeling like I need to be somewhere (like on my back porch smoking). The sense of urgency to go outside is really strange. I know there is nothing out there. There isn't a pack waiting for me, or ever any half smoked butts. My boyfriend asked me today if I thought having just one would make me feel better. I didn't know what to say. Maybe or maybe not. Then he asked me if I thought it would be rewarding and after I thought about it I knew it wouldn't at all. I've never make it this far before but to be fair I've never really tried that hard. How is it possible for 5 days to feel like an eternity? I mean really, how much longer am i going to feel like this. Also I feel really bad for my boyfriend, I'm been a total B to him for the last fews days for absolutely no good reason. Can you imagine someone crying over the way you packed a suitcase? How ridiculous... I really hope I feel better tomorrow. 

[kristen-9-7-15]

Hang in there. I know it doesn’t feel like it now but it will get easier.  You just have to keep fighting.  In the beginning it does feel like an eternity. I remember being so envious of the elders and never thought I would make it to where they are. Well guess what? I will be smoke free for 3 years in September.  It is so worth it. Remember to breath and hang out here with us. We will get you through this. I owe my quit to this site and all the friends I’ve made here.

[Barbscloud]

Congrats on your 5 days.  What your are going through is perfectly normal; that's why they call the first week hell week and you're almost through it!   Have you been reading posts on this sites?  They describe exactly how you're feeling, even being a B.   Stay strong.  It takes determination, but you can do this.

106DOF

[constanceclum]

Those early weeks are a roller coaster with some days feeling so much harder than others. I can tell you how you would feel if you smoked "just 1" because I have done it so many times. You will feel brief satisfaction that will last for about 20 min. until the next craving hits. During that time you will feel shame. You will realize that you have to go back to day 1 again. You will also realized that smoking that cig did nothing for you but relieve an urge for a very short period. Hang in there! Tomorrow will probably be better and you are almost through hell week!

Connie

[elvan]

So sorry that you are struggling but I daresay that most, if not all of us can imagine crying over how a suitcase is packed.  Those first few days are seriously challenging and even the calmest person has been known to feel emotionally blown away at times.  One thing to remember is that smoking never helped anything but it does hurt us.  We CAN go on without cigarettes, we may NOT be able to go on WITH them.  Think of that horrible smell, the looks on the faces of others who act like we are the worse excuses for people EVER.  I try very hard not to have that puckered up judgmental face when I walk by someone who is smoking...I have to remind myself that they HAVE to smoke, I CHOOSE not to.  It's a journey...one step at a time and baby steps count.  Remember that no crave ever killed anyone...have plans for things to do instead of smoking...get some bubble juice and blow bubbles outside...move furniture around, rearrange drawers or closets, do something for YOU.  Turn on your favorite music and DANCE....it will release dopamine and make you feel MUCH better.  I did not quit until irreversible damage was done and not a day goes by that I don't regret starting.  We have all been where you are...we all had a beginning and there are no shortcuts on this journey..."The only way out is through."  My mantra when I started was NOPE...Not One Puff Ever and I said it COUNTLESS times as my quit grew stronger and stronger.  It DOES get easier, it takes time.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[maryfreecig]

 Then he asked me if I thought it would be rewarding and after I thought about it I knew it wouldn't at all.

This really matters that you accepted that the cigarette would not help. Keep working your quit one day at a time and you will find what you are looking for--freedom. You are early in, just keep saying no for now. The pot of gold will come soon enough. 

Congratulations on 5 and all your hard work to make it happen.

[lacimae84]

I greatly appreciate all the support, thank you all so much! I'm on day 11 now and I'm feeling much better. We just got back from a few days in Mexico and I think it did me a world of good. This site is awesome and has helped me a lot. 

[elvan]

I am SO HAPPY for you...I promise you that it really does get easier and easier.  It's a journey, remember that.  You are on DOUBLE DIGITS now!  Congratulations.

Stay close to the site, it will help you more than I can possibly tell you.

Ellen