Day 49 And I'm Hanging In There

[djmurray]

I sure didn't expect this.  I have been so happy about my quit, and for the last 24 hours I have not been able to stop thinking about smoking.  I am NOT going to smoke, notwithstanding the fact that I feel so strongly that I want a cigarette.  I know what I know.  I've said before, I can't unlearn what I've learned about addiction to cigarettes.  I would hate myself if I smoked, because I would have broken a promise to myself.  I know I am torturing myself, and I definitely don't WANT to be doing this.  I have tried reading, watching TV, eating, but I defintely draw the line at going out for a walk.  It's REALLY cold out there and very icy, so that's not an option this evening.  I know, blah, blah, blah I can ramble on and on, but in the end it's only a feeling and feelings are like waves in the ocean or clouds in the sky.  They pass.  I hope they pass soon, because this is really wearing me out.

[bonnie-12-28-14]

Sorry DJ I am right there with you at 52 and I had one not long ago like that.  I have no idea where it comes from the nicotine is long gone but we abused our bodies for a lot of years.  You are one tough cookie so try to go to bed early tonight and tomorrow will be a better day.  

Say it I do not do that anymore!!!!!!!!

N.O.P.E.

[SarahP]

Hang in there DJ, you know what to do to get through this. This addiction is sneaky and manipulative, and will try its best to win you back. Be merciless. We are right here with you!

[hampton]

Hi My friend!!! Kick it's ash!!!  Don't let it get the best of ya. I'm at 75 days today and my mouth was watering all day. I wanted a cig so bad my mouth was even telling me to do it. I had to go to my uncles for a dam shower tonight. talk about having to fight the urges!!! he didn't hold back smoking the whole time I was there!! I smelled so good coming out of that hot shower and felt good too, But now that I'm home I had to change my clothes and put on lotion etc. I stink bad of cigs. YUCKY!!!! You are not going to smoke ever again,and neither am I. We have got those cigs by the ----!!!! If you give in I will have too. Please don't do it. N.O.P.E. You look marvelous without that cig in your mouth. Love,Hugs Deborah.

[Barbara145]

It is a bad NML day.  Tomorrow will be better!  Sweet dreams!

[MarilynH]

Yes my friend as Barbara is saying above me, your smack dab right in the middle of NML. Keep telling yourself that you are sooooooo much stronger than any urges or cravings. You can and will succeed in your precious quit. You sure don't want to start back at day 1 again. Drink some ice cold water and maybe have a soak in a hot bath and try to get some sleep and Lord willing tommorrow will be a much better day. 

Marilyn 

[nrm52]

This too shall pass. You are not doing anything wrong. Just part of the process. The sun will shine soon!     

[annb]

Hey DJ. It seems to come to most everybody. For awhile there I thought I would be a goner again but I held on and at about Day 100 I felt a big difference. Wow!!! What a blessing. Stay determined. Take Dale's 130 day challenge! I even fibbed to myself and said if I still want a cig then I will. But I won't! But it kinda helped to always know you have a choice. Otherwise you can feel like a rebellious kid!!! And that I don't give a rats arse thing kicks in. But you just keep kicking butt my friend!!! It will get better. Those brain cells are reorganizing. Give em the time they need!! (((Hugs)))

[JonesCarpeDiem]

around 100 days you will get days where you realize you haven't thought of smoking at all. Get there!

[prjimm01]

ok people truth time.  you are an ex or you are not.  smoking does not define your life.  you all have family, friends, total strangers that will support you.  let it go.  move on to the rest of your non smoking life already.  please.  i love u all.. peace and LOVE..

NOPE

[joyeuxencore]

Yes but you came here for help...You are doing great. Not a surprise to get strong cravings at 50 days. This too shall pass! xo

[Legend]

This is going to pass you will have good days one after the other in the future.      

[Summer-Rain]

DJ my friend you are not alone in your struggle, I too have been having crazy craves this week but I refuse to take a puff off a cig. we can do this.  It will get better.  Let's continue on this journey.

[elvan]

I think you let that little seed into your head that maybe your COPD isn't that bad...seriously, I would love to punch your pulmonologist.  He did not do you any favors.  Believe me that asthma is a precursor to more severe COPD and emphysema, and also believe me, PLEASE, that you are so successful on this journey that you would be so depressed and devastated to come back here and tell us that you smoked or, worse yet, you wouldn't even dare to come back because you would feel so bad.

This too shall pass, DJ.  Sometimes, we allow that little seed of doubt into our pointed, addict heads, and we really make it so much harder for ourselves.  Bite into a lemon, rind and all, take a shower, taken TEN showers, do jumping jacks and pay attention to how short of breath you are.  Just DON'T SMOKE.  Not One Puff Ever...KEEP THEM AWAY FROM YOUR FACE!  Whatever you have to say to yourself, do NOT smoke.  You are way too valuable here for us to lose you to smoking.

Love you,

Ellen

[Pops]

Well, "WE"...as in you and I both know the answer to these continual thoughts of smoking.  WE do NOT do that anymore!  PERIOD!  I mean not one little bit at all.  For us, to smoke is to abandon ourselves from a HEALTHY way of living, and go right back to a dangerous and damaging lifestyle.  And for what?  Do we really want to line the pockets of the industry heads that are driving the train that is about to run us over with no regard for our well being, or even worse...they could care less if we are in pain or dying.  Because after all....after we die...they will have several young teenagers in their grasp to take ahold of and "kill them" as well.  

Donna, let's get real here....this crap is "killing" us, and we "MUST" stop, or we are doomed!

xoxoxoxo Pops with 53 Days of Freedom!  Woo Hoo!!!!!

Please God, let me always remember that I get absolutely NOTHING of any value whatsoever....from any cigarette from any manufacturer.  Nothing but pain, death and guilt can come from any smoke.

[elvan]

djmurray‌ When I started reading this, I just about fell over and then I saw that it was from 4 years ago!  Look at how far you have come.  

Love,

Ellen

[Pops]

Well, call me dumb I guess....okay, I can say this...I'm not the slightest bit happy about being led to believe that you had smoked!  For what it is worth...at least you know that I for one...am not going to pat you on the "poo-poo" & tell you everything is going to be okay...It doesn't work for me, and I suspect it won't work for anybody else either....That "nicodemon" isn't being loving and caring of our feelings in it's darkest hour...it is playing for keeps...and I suspect that we need to be equally as earnest in our battle against it...

xoxoxo Pops with 53 Days of Freedom.....

[djmurray]

Ha Ha – I have no idea how this came up in anyone’s feed, and I think Pops missed that it was from 4 years ago as well. I’ve tried replying to him, but it keeps leaving the reply area, so please let him know. I will be blogging later this evening!

[elvan]

If you want to be sure he gets a message on this @mention him...Pops‌ message from DJ...from this four year old post.  A lot of the older posts surface sometimes and I have to admit that sometimes, the posts are still really relevant, depending upon where you are in your quit.  

XOXO,

Ellen

[joyeuxencore]

Most importantly you came here and shared about how you're feeling and that's what we do we come and we talk about what's going on...

The great thing is you don't have to smoke even if you want to. That's the power. The urge will always pass whether or not you smoke... Plus the fact you love your non-smoking self so so much you really are just kicking ass at this so keep the power! ❤️