Wow - what a journey I've been on the last 6 weeks. 6 weeks? Sometimes it seems like forever since I had a smoke and sometimes it seems like yesterday. Saying goodbye to the smoker in me is a real challenge. Knowing that I'm over the physical demands, I just have to keep focusing on "N.O.P.E" and "I don't do that anymore".
On Day 41, I realized at 9:00 am (I had been up for 3 hours) that I did not wake up thinking about a cancer stick for the first time! I had been waiting for that day! But the smoke idea popped in my head many times later in the day. Are they still craves or just behavior modification? I'm not sure, but I do know that 'N.O.P.E." and "I don't do that anymore" are the keys to pushing the thoughts out of my mind. I drive by places I used to stop and smoke and I just look and remember. Sometimes I think about how sad my actions were. I had it mapped out! I could go in that parking lot and smoke, and behind that building, and next to that dumpster, and the list goes on. I had a method and thought I was staying out of sight (and condemnation) of others. What I did not realize is the smell gave me away every time.
Did CVS's decision to stop selling cigarettes affect my decision to quit? I think in a round-about way, it did. I think about the drive to rid the United States of smoking. It started small - keeping them out of the hands of kids. Then came getting them out of stores, then restaurants, then bars. Meanwhile, the consequences of smoking are being publicized and new generations are trained to think cigarettes stink. The latest "battle" in the "war of eliminating smoking" is getting stores to stop selling them. And here we are. I can see only specialty stores selling cigarettes at certain times of the day, making them very difficult to get. I do not want to get to the point I am rearranging family time, work, and other opportunities to stand in the line to buy cigs at a tobacco only store! Prohibition failed - it was implemented all at once. Eliminating smoking will eventually win by changing the perception of the population. Besides, the smokers are all killing themselves with the poison sticks. The non-smoking activists have more life and energy to put into fighting the fight.
I had a fear pop into my head about a week ago and I final got up the courage to face it. My husband smoked for over 20 years. He quit in 2000. I was afraid that if I quit, he would start again. I asked him about it last night. He assured me he does not want a cigarette - he has too much to live for! If he starts smoking again, the fight to protect my quit will become very hard. His words were a real comfort.
6 weeks of being smoke free has been liberating. So many minutes a day I don't waste pumping my body full of poisons. Woo Hoo! 6 weeks! Yea me!
