Final Exams today...aaagggghhhh! (sorry I'm always screaming!)
YAY!!!! I'm done! Most likely, I passed...at least one class I know I did. The other class...well, I'm hoping that I passed even if it's marginal. I'll take it! That exam was on campus...I already had strong urge to smoke because I had been cramming for two exams...then driving on campus was an "unknown" trigger.
I didn't realize going back to school - the community college I had gone to right out of high school - would cause such a reaction. I remember way back in the day when we could and would smoke all throughout campus. I could smoke 3 or 4 just waiting for a class to start. I remember being late for class because I would rather finish my cigarette than be on time...and that was even after I'd already smoke 2 or 3! Two hours later I'd get right out of class and smoke a few more...but sometimes I'd even leave class in the middle to smoke! I see now how addicted I was. Now, there are only certain areas to smoke at. It was a good thing I was running late today and didn't have the time to seek those areas.
The cravings have passed...I'm mellow right now. I have laundry to catch up on and a house to clean up...but I think I'll save that for another time...because I know the urge to smoke will get at me when I get tired of doing the chores. There is absolutely nothing in this house that needs to be done right now. So I think I'll do something for myself...no eating cuz I've seen a couple pounds starting to creep up...I'm gonna jump on the treadmill and listen to some tunes to de-stress from the past few weeks...or maybe I'll do some meditation & save the run for tomorrow morning.
Well, whatever I'm gonna do now...there one thing I know...
SMOKING IS NOT AN OPTION! I'M KICKIN' ASH!
