Day 24 & Losing Strength

[Jono28]

Today I stayed in bed most of the day. For the first time I'm weakening in my resolve. Every day without exception over the past 24 has been a struggle. Even so I've said it may suck, I may hate life right now, but I don't smoke. 

Today I don't know that I can take this and understand the damn "journey" will "take as long as it takes."

I just can't feel like this for 1, 3, or 6 months let alone a year. The cure is almost worse than the disease. I applaud those that have succeeded. I'm sure you had a better attitude than mine and knew how to "embrace the quit."

I know I can hold on a little longer even if I have to stay locked in my room to do it. I just hope and pray for a sign that it gets a little better....just a little even...as I get to the one month mark.

I smoked for 30 years and get that as a result it will take a long time to get better. I just am not strong enough to hang on as long as it's going to take.  I feel like a failure before I've even given up.

[Legend]

You’re doing good keep going take this one day at a time you can do this. Go over to youtube and hang around it is a great place to be. We have to go through the bad times to get to the good times ahead. In time you will see all gets better just don’t give up. Keep busy doing anything it really helps. I have a quit kit blog on my page it has a lot to read on it that can help you.  

I got you a video to watch I love this song.

Chicago - Saturday In The Park 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHPz-OcjH8s 

[Gergzz]

I felt EXACTLY like this. I promise you each day gets better. Just know that's the addiction clinging on with everything its got and you're beating it. Congrats on your 24 days and if you stick to it this will all just be a memory of why to never go back. 

Have you tried watching shows like Brooklyn nine-nine, The office, Parks and Recreation, Community. These are all friend group/work comedies and all ways put me in a better spirit

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Tell me? Is it a physical craving or are you running low on willpower?

Willpower is the wrong approach. It's a fight with yourself. It's tiring, it wears us out.

Acceptance that you are doing this for your future knowing it will get better is key. 

In another week, you may feel differently.

What is smoking going to do for you? What's it going to do to your future or your health if you go back?

Are you using any kind of aid?

[meWisconsin]

Stay strong. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep up the good quit.

Terry

[Slowonder]

Jono28 you're being really strong. Struggling with this and coming here to get support was the right thing to do. I'm 36 days in and some days are good but it's been hard for me lately. But I do believe the others here who say it gets better (even "way better") when it doesn't always feel that way. I agree with Gergzz  totally about comedy! All the shows he said, or shorter clips of shows or stand up on YouTube are great too. 

[Barbara145]

I can promise you this, It gets really good.  It just takes time.  Give it time.

[YoungAtHeart]

Patience IS required.   I promise there will be an afternoon when you will realize you didn't think of smoking that morning.  There WILL!  Then there will come an evening when you realize you didn't think of smoking that morning OR afternoon.    I can't tell you when - but I PROMISE you it will happen.

Try to only think about today.  If it's a lousy one, tomorrow should be better.  This is a day at a time journey.  Don't let yourself be bogged down in tomorrows and timetables.  It will be easier on you if you just don't smoke today.  When tomorrow comes, don't smoke then, either!  Rinse and repeat....

You are DOING this - and if you give in now, you will just one day have to do it all AGAIN - and I know you don't want to do that.

Hang in there!

Nancy

[Barbscloud]

[Jono28]

It's physical. My chest is constantly constricted like a belt is tied around it. I'm always sucking in deep breaths seeking relief and looking for that "catch" in my breath. I also find I'm still getting hit with cravings all day, urges to reach for that pack.

I have no willpower to speak of so if it were that, I would have lost it a long time ago. Lol

[Jono28]

"Try to only think about today.  If it's a lousy one, tomorrow should be better."

I've been doing this for nearly 4 weeks - which I realize isn't a comparatively long time - but tomorrow is never better. I woke up this morning for the 25th day in a row with a damn cigarette being my first thought as I woke after falling asleep with it being my last thought.

The only thing saving me is to your point - I won't bother trying again if I fail.

I'm exhausted.

[YoungAtHeart]

Quitting smoking doesn't require willpower - so you are in luck there!  It requires WILLINGNESS.  Try to think of this rite of passage as healing, as something that will eventually lead you to a better, healthier, (indeed) happier life.  Because it WILL.

Be willing!  Trust that you will feel better - because you WILL. 

Stay committed.  Stay busy!  Get some exercise.  Drink lots of water.

It will get better - my promise to you!

Nancy

[Maki]

I wanted to share a couple earlier blogs with you but I have not figured out how I can do that , some of mine and some of others , so please go to my profile and go to page 4 .. 

In the meantime thankyou for your post .  I must learn how to post others blogs , there have been  so many helpfuls . 

I tried to post an old one of mine as well  but have have no clue .. you could check out the fourth page on my profile .. 

Hang in there . It's worth it . 

Headed to community help to figure figure out how to post those helpful blogs and posts . 

[sweetplt]

Have you done the past suggestions and called your Doctor to talk about your physical and mental issues of quitting smoking? It’s a start...24 days is early in the quit...which is super...but early...you need to continue working the program.  May I suggest, you write daily 5 things you are grateful for in life...also, help others struggling here at Ex’s, sometimes when we help others, it helps us, and lastly, just hang in there ... we all had a rough time in the early days...Gotcha in my thoughts ~ Colleen 497 DOF 

[beazel]

Yes, it's exhausting. It's really hard.

You've come this far, please don't throw that away.

I believe you are strong enough - 24 days is awesome - that was your strength that got you there.

Just go one more day.......(then repeat tomorrow)

One day at a time..........

[maryfreecig]

Jono? Who chose to quit?

The cigarettes-- your smoking life seem to be your friend, but not Ex. Nor any other part of life other than smoking. New attachments are hard to build, because the very private dependency on nicotine takes almost everything, if not all and gives the mind the fakest sense of security. 

It's also hard rebuilding pleasure and reward. You have more choices before you smoke. For one you could look into nicotine replacement. Ask your doctor about Wellbutrin and the like... No recommendations here--just reminding that part of you that chose to quit--to look beyond your discouragement, pain. 

When I first quit, I said I could smoke again...when I was no longer addicted, I was welcome to ask the question if I want to smoke and answer in the affirmative if that was the case. I meant it. (Maybe I told you this already, sorry if I have). It pissed me off that I had to wait to no longer suffer the trouble of dependency in order to give myself permission to smoke if that is what I wanted, but I bowed and agreed. What helped at that time was that I damn well meant it. 

Try getting over 2.5 hours of exercise--mix and match anykind--but consecutive.

Video yourself talking about what you are going through and then an hour later watch on a large enough monitor, lap top (avoid watching on your phone screen it is too small).

Valerian Root or warm milk and banana or a Tylenol or melatonin are known to calm (but take according to your own health can/can't dos)

Close your eyes, still yourself as much as possible and listen to OM Chanting @528 Hz | 8 Hours - YouTube , or some other calm repeated noise

Listen to a story on radio (an aural story has great power to capture the mind because you must listen to understand)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffkd7sJvLgw&list=PL76MoB89vfkkpMmoOw7v95mdVQmw9aOEA&index=3&t=0s

above is an example--but there are a lot out there

Watch a powerful story The Snow Walker - YouTube  for example or Touching The Void - YouTube 

These stories are about dire circumstances and I always feel a catharsis when I watch them and I did so to get over bad quit feelings. Neither may appeal to you at all, but ask yourself, what story might help.

You can find your NOPE today.

[SimplySheri]

No one I've ever known has a good attitude about their quit in the beginning.  Human beings don't like change and when it comes to 'beating an addiction'...well, let's just say that there is a period of uncomfortable adjustments and chains we need to break free of.

You are entitled to feel how you feel.  And I'm so sorry you are not feeling well.  But what a precious gift you are holding onto...even weakly.  What a spectacular relief for your body even if you have yet to feel it!!  What a financial burden you are letting go of even if you are not yet enjoying the extra money!!

There is so much good in your quit that you may not recognize as such yet.  Let us remind you and let us sit with you until you are strong enough to be up and about again.  Because all the good you are doing should not be lost in that terrible addiction that is trying to pull you back down!!  So let us help.  Let us help you nurture that tiny quit into a raging inferno of recovery (so to speak  ).  

I know you're hurting but it's just addiction losing its fight.  Hold on as it dies.  Then you will rise.

Hugs,

Sheri

[Tanuaj]

Hang in there Jono. I’m on day 1 again. Don’t go there. It wasn’t even worth it. I stressed smoked. So now I’m learning ways to deal with stress better.   I hope someday we can all meet each other and celebrate! Saying a prayer for you.

[SimplySheri]

Day 1 is always the start.  It's ok, take what you learned and keep going!  You've got this.

[jonimarie]

I know sounds easy.

It takes time to reprogram our thought pattern to think of something besides smoking

Everyday does get better and everyday does get easier if you believe in yourself 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

What we tell ourselves is what we believe.

The more we hear ourselves say it, the more we believe it.

[SisBB]

Hang in there Jono28‌! You can do this! You definitely did the right thing in posting. 

Exercise and rewards for not smoking have been working for me. The exercise is a good distraction that releases natural, better, endorphins. And when I think “Wow, I’m actually doing this quitting thing,” I realize how much money I’m saving and buy myself something small as a reward. 

I believe in you! With the isolation, it’s a rough time to quit, but it will make success even sweeter.

You got this!

[YoungAtHeart]

I hope this one is a better day for you!

Nancy

[Giulia]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonn...‌

[elvan]

Hang in there, you will begin to notice times when you don't spend your life thinking about smoking.  When people here kept telling me that it would get better, I believed them.  I quit over six years ago after smoking for 47 years.  It was not easy but it was well worth every minute to get free.

Ellen

[Jono28]

I wish I could reach back through time and tell, "me then" that it gets better. 4 years quit now. We made it 😊