Smoking was not the first thing on my mind this morning. Or maybe it was & I was just surprised that I didn't wake up as angry and resentful as I had the day before. Either way - didn't feel like having a smoke for breakfast.
Last night I played this game thingy on my ipod. It was called The Easyway to Quit. I wouldn't have bought it, but i had some leftover money in my itunes account after a gift card from my brother at Christmas. It wasn't that it was expensive - $5 - it was just that I've gotten a little selfish about my money in the way that i want to keep some for me. I've already spent money on the gum and on the prescription. I guess I was starting to feel like if I was trying to quit to SAVE MONEY, I was failing because I was still spending it.
Anyhoo.... I read the explination for the addiction withdrawls, made sense. Read how many cigerettes I'd have smoked in my life if I kept smoking till I was 85, how much money I'd spend, what I could have bought, things I could have done, blah blah yackity schmackity. I signed a little contract and I played some little games. All in all, it at least kept my hands busy, which right now, is a very good thing. It even told me at the beginning that if I wanted a smoke, I should go ahead & have one because by the end, I wouldn't want one anymore. (I didn't have one, by the way.) So I was pretty pleased with my purchase.
Oh, I did use a rubber band last night on my wrist (thanks Kendra!) and I did have to snap it a few times despite eating a 1/2 bag of fruity tootsie rolls.
Crazy as it sounds, there must have been something to that little program that could. As I was reading the "How is smoking a cure for boredom?" part I was thinking - this is all well and good and really very interesting. I like the new perspective, but really? How is this going to make any difference? If my body wants nicotine, it wants it.
Woke up with out my body wanting it. I'm slightly weirded out. Happy, but still al little "really?". Maybe I shouldn't question it. But that's who I am & that's what I do. I analyze everything until I am down to the last fiber of what ever it is I am trying to figure out.
I will admit, I am still obsessing over it. Still thinking about it. But, I haven't had any gum and I haven't yelled or given the hairy eyeball to a single person, place or thing today. I find this impressive as those are all nouns.
I am very proud right now. Despite the headache. This it the second day I can proudly say "I am a non-smoker."
Now, I shall raise my sword and declare - "No Morning Smoke Break!" to the world Ha Ha Ha Ha (that was a slightly evil laugh, if just for my own amusement)!! For I have, once again, defeated the nicotine monster!
