Hi EX family!
I'm still here and I'm still smoke free. I made it through No Man's Land, but I still don't feel safe. I've got a lot of summer triggers popping up and lots of stress (who doesn't right?) but I am still working my plan. I am determined to be done with this addiction already, so I cannot relapse. This is the longest I have gone without smoking in the last 19 years. By far my longest quit.
This sounds horrible, but one thing that is keeping me from going back to smoking is that I keep telling myself that only an ignorant person could put those blinders back on and smoke. I am not saying that anyone who is reading this who smokes is ignorant. This is a psychological tool that I am using on myself to protect my quit. I am not ignorant, so therefore I cannot smoke. I know the truth about smoking now, but man oh man it still seems like it would be WAY too easy to smoke. That is why I'm here.
A lot of my friends on here have told me that quitting smoking is a journey, not an event. That is true. When I have good days, they are great days. I am proud and feel awesome about being a non smoker. When I have a bad day, its like the world is going to end for a few minutes, but then it goes away after awhile, so I can deal with that, even if its tough sometimes. I've made it this far and I've committed myself to this, I'm doing this forever. I tried to take a break from this site (personally I hate drama, I try to avoid it), but I found myself getting lonely and gearing up for a relapse through stinking junkie thinking, so I had to come and blog about it.
I believe in myself and my ability to do this. I've come farther than I ever have before. I am evolving in a wonderful way. Thank you for reading, supporting, being here on this road of recovery with me. Here's to new ways of thinking and new ways of living. Cheers.
