Day 11

[RachelN]

10 a.m.  I realize I hadn't coughed at all this morning.  It made me happy and I was feeling energized and proud of my decision to quit smoking.

1 p.m.  Cracked car windshield

2 p.m.  Dryer broke.  All of our bedsheets are wadded up and laying on the floor beside the washer.  Wet blankets in the washer.

2:10 p.m.  My thoughts turn to cigarettes.  I get angry that something I love so much can kill me.  It pisses me off!!!!!!

5 p.m.  Our grill won't start.  The stupid thing wouldn't lite.

6 p.m.  My husband comes home from a business trip.  We sit down to eat and I don't even know what set us all off but the arguing starts.  My kids are home from college for the summer and one is moving to China to teach English in 12 days. Everyone is gearing up to head off to school and on to their own little worlds.  Our family dinner times are getting ready to be over until next year before we can all be together again.  We all leave the room not speaking to each other.  I went to my bedroom and cried thinking,  " I can't do this, I need to smoke a cigarette."  Then I remembered something I read on here and I took a deep breathe and reminded myself I don't NEED a cigarette, I WANT one.  I kept repeating that to myself.  I don't need to smoke, I want to smoke.  Nothing about this shitty day will change if I smoke.  It won't make anything better, my dryer still will need to be repaired, my boys will still be grumpy with one another.  IT WILL CHANGE NOTHING!

 7:30 p.m.  My boys took our sheets and blankets to my parents to be dried.  My husband loaded the dishwasher and told me he call the insurance about my windshield.  

It's now going on 9, we are eating ice cream and watching pre-season football games on TV.  Everyone together and getting along.  I made it without smoking.  I've had shitty days like this day, we all do.  Things break, families fight, plans get messed up but to me this shitty day was the first one I manage to get through without a cigarette.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I'm not ready to say NOPE.  I just wanted to say I made it through a crappy day, my day 11 without smoking.  

I want to also say thank you to everyone who has written their stories and shared their wisdom.  All of it came to my mind today and it helped.  

Rachel

[SimplySheri]

As I was reading this, Rachel, I thought you were writing about me and my world   You should be extremely proud of yourself!!  Way to kick the day's butt!!  So glad you remembered you don't do that anymore.

[YoungAtHeart]

You GOT this!  The biggest battle you will fight with yourself during your journey is to accept that life is always going to happen and that smoking will not affect what happens at ALL!

You got through these challenges - the next ones will be easier.

Glad the day ended well.....and it didn't involve any cigarettes!

Nancy

[karenjones]

ready yourself to say NOPE, and start to realize that when you tell yourself what you told yourself at 2;10,  that is the voice of the addict. you don't love cigarettes, the addict in you does. And congratulate yourself for not smoking today.  You are one strong woman.  It will get easier.  Do you make the daily pledge on this site? It really helps me to know that I just have to promise myself not to smoke today. just for this hour, this minute. and my stats is really good to. set this up and return to it and say, wow, at how strong you are in fighting this addict who wants you to smoke.  You are doing really good. keep up the good work.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Great for you.  One day at a time is all you can do.  Glad things fell back into place and you did not have to smoke.  

[Mandolinrain]

You did great and one day when you look back and read these old post you will realize how much power YOU took away from the nicodemon .  We were watching the Browns last night pre-season. I ended up going to bed. That team gives me a headache, lol. They were ahead though when I went in.....so maybe??????

Anyway

[Barbscloud]

Congrats to you.  I know how that is.  I've had a few of those days myself recently.  It's not easy, but we did it.

150 DOF

[Giulia]

I'd say you've been  doing your homework very well.  Sorry you had one of those days.  But it taught you that you CAN get through them without a cigarette.  Keep that self-talk going.  That's what I call working your quit.  Brava!

[stAn3]

Thank you for your inspirational post. I am proud of you for staying committed to your quit and playing the tape all the way through. 

[msandshall]

I love the inspiring real life stories I am reading. I am encouraged and hope that as my quit day approaches next week, I will remember the strength I am reading about in the posts. 

[CommunityAdmin]

How are you? How is your quit?

Mark
EX Community Manager

[RachelN]

Hanging on by a thread.

[Giulia]

Then make it a really big, fat, strong piece of yarn - that commitment thread.  Strengthen it.

So, your task, grasshopper, is to find more pieces of thread to thicken your commitment.  Where are they?  They are here, among the pages of this site.  Study hard.  Study long.  Each strand of a day's experience, each strand of a day's knowledge, each strand of another Day WON, builds our yarn.   You don't need to hang on by a thread, you just need to say YES to your commitment with no doubt whatsoever and no possibility of putting a cigarette between your lips.  Smoking doesn't exist in the possibilities of those who adhere to NOPE.