I have made it to double digits…DAY 10 of being an EX!
BUT.......I almost didn’t make it this far. A few situations this week have left me depressed and a lost soul. I attended a funeral on Monday evening for a 40 year old friend….father of 3 who was killed in a motorcycle accident. Devastating. Then Tuesday a spokesperson for a foundation that I am involved in was buried – at age 29. She battled breast cancer for 8 years and lost her battle last week. Devastating. I have found myself in unfamiliar territory. I am struggling to cope with my grief without clinging to my cigarettes for comfort. Then last night, my husband and I attended a seminar to learn about benefits that my mother in law may be entitled to (which will help to afford nursing home care in the future). What we learned is that we have been doing things all wrong for the last 3 years. We don’t have receipts for purchases that we made and she paid us back for (i.e. Groceries, prescriptions, etc.). We just paid with our debit card(s) and she paid us back, either by her and I transferring $$ from her account to ours, or by her giving us cash/check, etc. If we apply for Medicaid anytime in the next 5 years – they will make us reimburse her for all of these “non-receipted” transactions. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was also told that since we don’t have a “caregiver” agreement, what we are doing is considered elder abuse and is punishable by law. I had no idea….this is family, we are just taking care of one another! I have never felt like more a piece of shit then I did at that moment…….and what was one of the first things I wanted to do? You guessed it. I wanted to run outside and smoke an entire pack of cigarettes – immediately. But I didn’t. Instead I sobbed, and sobbed, and wailed, sobbed some more and hated the world.
So how do I navigate this new territory? How in the world can I get through this without falling off my EX wagon?
Help. I need it now more than ever.
