Day 1

[SamanthaAshley]

I would love to say that this morning has been better than expected but I’m going to be completely honest. I have had a pretty bad morning. Seems when a craving hits it does more that just make me want something.. I know anger and anxiety all comes with this but I normally struggle with that and it has only been the first morning and I’m having a hard time controlling my “emotions”. I just want to have people who I can come to with no judgment and be able to say that I’m already not doing ok. I went and got a pack this morning. Haven’t opened it. Feel like I’ve already failed myself by buying another one. I do recognize that My post is nothing but excuses but honestly wondering if maybe my doctor was right about see if this medication will work for me then with her help, take the steps to quit smoking. I just don’t want to have a mental break down which seemed to be the case. I’m not giving up. I’m just lost. 

[SamanthaAshley]

Just to add.. I’ve struggled with self harm in the past.. it’s been years and years. This morning was the closest I came to a repeat of history and don’t want that to happen.

[noetoez]

No judgement here. 

Take a deep breath. There are a lot of us here who have dealt with anxiety, depression and those types of issues. I was surprised by it. I have dealt with anxiety issues and panic attacks since my teens. We tell ourselves that the cigarettes help us to deal. If we are honest with ourselves, they really don't. 

You are NOT a failure if you need some help. There is NO shame in struggling. It's ok to not feel ok. 

I am glad that you reached out. It is hard to acknowledge the ugly feelings. I hope that you manage to push through it to get to the other side of it. But know, cold turkey is not the only way to go and it does not work for everyone. There is nothing wrong with looking into quit aids, like patches, gum, or Chantix if that's what going to help you. 

[YoungAtHeart]

Ex is a bonafide no judgment zone.  I feel for how difficult this is for you.  That being said, I wonder what you have read to understand your addiction, what tools you have at your disposal that you have tried.  Have you tried going for a walk, or marching in place, or cleaning out a drawer - something - ANYTHING  - to change your mind's direction? 

Quitting is hard work in the beginning.  I wish I had a magic pill  to give you, but, alas, there is no such thing.  You must do whatever it takes to get through these early days.  Perhaps, for you, that will require a combination of things.  Perhaps a talk with your doctor is in order to discuss available Rx drugs as mood enhancers, depression reducers.

I would highly recommend that you open that pack of cigarettes and hold the open end under running water before throwing them in the trash.  THEN make a written list of your reasons for quitting, another one of things you can do when a crave hits to get your mind on something else besides your mood, anger, etc.  Exercise will ALWAYS work - or coming here to read, or

WRITING a blog - which you did!!!  Good for you!!  Can't WAIT to celebrate Day WON tonight with you.  You CAN do this!!!

Write as many times as you need.  We want to help in any way we can.

Nancy

[sweetplt]

Did you do the work ? Planning etc., ? No judgement .. honestly...but you need to truly plan for your quit date and what you will do in place of smoking...My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX ... Don’t give up...continue to try and get it to work...

Gotcha in my thoughts and heart right now...~ Colleen

Remember something really important...Life Happens whether you smoke or not...it is learning to deal with life without the smokes....

Please post and let us know how you are doing? 

[Barbscloud]

Buying the pack isn't the failure.  It's what you did with them that matters.  What's most important is your mental state.  Quitting smoking can be very emotional for many.  More so than the physical withdrawal.  My quit was like that.

I'm concerned for you physical being .  Why not reach out to your doctor.  Smoking  helped us cope with some difficult things in our lives.  But, I also know that you're strong enough to do this.  Stay close!

Please take care of yourself right now.  You deserve it.   

[maryfreecig]

You can have support at Ex, take your doctor's advice on medication and his/her help and quit. 

I quit on my own, no Ex, very little help. I was stressed. But I made it. Somehow I stuck with my decision and it was so scary. I didn't know myself without my smoking/addiction. And I hated that. The future looked so uncertain and I absolutely hated that. Learning not to run away was hard, but how much I've gained by going through with my decision to quit. 

If you've made a decision to quit, it may be that you are still in pre-quit mode and need to consider your path some more, get more help. Ex is rooting for you to succeed with your desire to quit. Exers know that even with support, the quit path is deeply personal. 

One day at a time you can figure this out. 

[MarilynH]

How are you doing this evening SamanthaAshley22? I just wanted to check in with you and let you know that we're all here for you and we're rooting you on.....

[YoungAtHeart]

Yes, please do let us hear from you!

Nancy