All the way back into childhood my dreams have been very intense. I practiced deliberately by keeping a dream journal and guided thought as I fell asleep. I would keep a notebook close to the bed and write down what I remembered from the dreams as soon as I woke up, even in the middle of the night. What I have found through the years of chemical use is the only thing that really changed for me was my ability to remember the contents and details of the dreams. There were times when I thought I didn't dream at all. There were times that I knew I dreamed and didn't or couldn't remember much at all. And there were times when I wrote books. SURPRIZE.....LOL I also used specific induced states as I fell asleep, like holding single ideas in the conscious mind trying to affect the dreams. Sometimes I had success in setting the topics but the subconscious just takes it from there. I wanted to be able to enter my dreams consciously in what is called a LUCID state. In other words actively "drive" through dreamland. I have to wonder if the chemicals I added to my body were able to cause a disconnect or reduce the connection between conscious and subconscious. Probably did. Dangerous groud there. In any case I have always dreamed but I have also trained myself to remember them. Oh No! Now you guys think I should have not had SO MANY chemicals floating around in there. LOL Whoops. I'm telling you right now the NICODEMONS and the rest of them, are struggeling from some death blows because they had me taking puffs on cigarettes in my dreams again last night. Not lighting one up, not getting one out of a pack or actively initiating the act but becoming aware of the cigarette as I hit the damn thing. At which point I would get disgusted and crush it out. Now this woke me up 4 times last night from 4 different dreams. The last one about an hour ago. As a matter of fact in that dream I was trying to reach Teresa here at this site on the computer. I dreamed she was having big trouble with her daughter again and she was using a PDA to talk with us. She still wants to quit! We were having network problems too. It was frustrating as hell. The next thing I know I'm choking on a big draw from a long white cigarette that has a fancy logo on it and I'm choking something terrible. I got the old stuck to the lips and slide my fingers up over the cherry deal so my fingers got burned at which point I ripped the nasty thing out of my mouth and I crushed the smoke out in the palm of my left hand with vivid technicolor, sound, smell, and pain. I knew I was done sleeping! LOL I still don't have a lighter and these cigarettes weren't my brand so some rotten SOB wants to make war in my head. PHILLIP and MORRIS are both dead aren't they? Hmmmmmmm??????? LOL They picked the wrong trooper to mess with............. Another very comforting detail from all four of last nights episodes is that I was choking on the smoke just like I had never smoked before. 🙂 I dreamed I had virgin lungs.....HAha! I'm so silly and happy!
TODAY I CHOOSE NOT TO USE!
God Bless,
Jim
Look up into My Face to feel a sense of security, a thrill of joy at My Nearness. HP
