Condemnation

[jen-x]

Judgment, punishment, to force or constrain.

Some of us need a good swift kick before we do what is necessary or right. Then, there are others who understand the stakes. I have too many friends that I haven’t heard from shortly into their quits. There is a whole segment of “want- to-quit” smokers who need a soft glove in their support. I am not comfortable kicking someone when they are down. If you feel you have been kicked, come by my page and say “Hi.” Put your feet up and listen to some tunes. I will help you up if you have fallen. We will make your shoes are tied up. Mistakes happen. What is important is the lesson we learn.

Why must a site that is not highly restrictive cast away those who need help the most? I, too, can feel frustration at those who are obviously not quite ready to take the leap. I cannot condemn them. I have been through enough in my life to realize that creating stress for a quit is quite frankly not worth it.

Those who feel good with aversion therapy have at, but please be mindful that there are those who you are just going to drive away. Find yourselves a site that has a strict no-smoking policy. I have and I’ve found it very beneficial. Just what I need, but I am not willing to create a hostile environment based solely on fear and reprisal.

Good Fortune to all on your quits!!

[jaylah]

Well said, Jen.

I know that within less than 24 hours after coming here, I was ready to leave this site because I did not feel supported. Fortunately a few people grabbed me before I could delete myself and I found a safe haven with them where I do feel supported.

Everybody really is an individual. What I find supportive may well be far too "wishy-washy" for others. And what some may consider "tough love" strikes me as highly insensitive and counter-productive.

So just as we each have our own quits (no two are exactly the same....can't be....none of us is the same person*) the ways we feel supported in our quits is different for all of us. And none of them are "right" or "wrong." It's just a case of tempering your support with what truly feels supportive to the person quitting.

Just as "cold turkey" isn't the best way to quit for everybody, not everybody at this site credits a higher power for their quit. But it's all valid, as long as you stay quit.

None of us should be attempting to elevate our own methods or whatever above anybody else's.

*(There actually are some people here who are the same person as other people here. In violation of the agreement of using this site. But we won't get into that. They know who they are and they also know what they're doing is wrong.)

[jen-x]

Don't know CAKE.

[jen-x]

Woman I think my only rule is Don't harsh my mellow!

[jen-x]

I'm going to? I have darlyn'. It's all good!
I have learned how to fly!

[jen-x]

All are welcome and for whatever reason. Just stick to the rule.

[lizzo]

Thank you Miss Jen!!

[donna22]

Hey Jen,

Great Post, I agree wholeheartedly, I don't personally feel that I've been kicked but I may just drop by your page and listen to those tunes anyway!!!!!

Keep up the good work, you 're doing awesome.

[banter]

Well said Jen-X! I believe in kitchen sink and I advocate what worked for me. It's a beautiful balance that we all bring so we can help as many people as possible.

[fiveblessings]

Nicely done, Jen. I totally agree with the kitchen sink appraoch...do WHATEVER works for YOU to beat this addiction dead! I don't like tough love myself, but I know people who need that kind of kick in the tush. And Karen, I love the idea of not taking yourself too seriously. Things just seem to come more easily with a little laughter along the way.

[Susan59]

Totally agree Jen. We just need to be welcoming to the newbies and give advice as we see appropriate. We won't always guess what a person needs correctly but hopefully will never make anyone leave. It is sometimes hard not to be really blunt when peoples addictions are talking and that is something we need to be sensitive to.

Peace Susan