A profound statement to be sure, but very, very true. How do I know? I've done both.
I just had my second heart attack, the first one didn't seem to get my attention, just like burying 3 different friends who all died of lung cancer didn't seem to register with me. How friggin stupid can a person be.
I started smoking when I was either 12 or 13 yrs old, because it "was cool". In those days, nearly half the population smoked. You could smoke in the grocery store while shopping, even hospital rooms as long as oxygen wasn't in use. The only place you couldn't smoke was in a movie theater.
When I was 21, after many different attempts at quitting I ended up quitting accidentially. I was busy at work and just forgot to buy cigarettes for a day so my buddy said...."why not quit." So, I did. Toughed out a week....would work like crazy all day, then a buddy and I would head for the bar. Not being a drinker, I'd order a beer maybe two that I'd nurse though the night while she shot pool. About 10 or 11, head home and go right to bed....this was my routine for 2 weeks while avoiding the triggers. I was sucking on Halls by the bagfull, but it all worked and I remained quit for 6 yrs. During that time, I'd light cigarettes for friends when their hands would be dirty and never had the desire to smoke one, or inhale. Six years later I was lighting fireworks with friends and I got a cigarette from a buddy to use lighting fireworks. While opening another package of fireworks, I put it in my mouth to hold it and unconsciencely took a drag and inhaled it. In that instant....I was as hooked again as I was the day I'd quit 6 yrs earlier and I smoked for the next 40 yrs, never more or less than a pack a day, rarely smoking a whole cigarette.
About 10 or 12 yrs ago, I did use the Nicoderm patch to quit and was quit for 18 months. First, did the patch work...absolutely...I actually did a test. I'll explain this in another post so as to not dillute this one. After I was off the patch and through the first year...no real problems, but from the 1-yr anniversary to that 18 month period it seemed like I thought about and fought it constantly. Finally one evening while at dinner with a friend, I asked her for a cigarette. She refused saying she didn't want to be responsible for me restarting. I told her "I" was responsible for me restarting again and it was something I'd been thinking about and considering for 6 months...so she relented....on my way home I stopped and bought a pack.
Well, 1/27/2013 I had my second heart attack. Why did this one get my attention when the first one didn't? This time my heart stopped for 1-minute and 15-seconds. I was dead. So...was that the catalyst? No...actually the dying was very euphoric. The catalyst was an unfilled prescription.
While lying in the trauma room being prepped for the surgery they asked if I smoked. I told them I'd quit...she asked when I'd quit. I told her about noon that day, mostly because I knew full well I wasn't going to be able to smoke during my 4 day stay in the hospital...but it ended up being my quit-time/date. My heart stopped after this discussion.
After the cardiologist got my LAD (widow maker) reopened he began lecturing me about quitting smoking. I agreed with him and told him...if he'd give me a prescription when I left the hospital, I'd give it a shot. As I was getting ready to leave, he wrote out the prescription for Chantix along with the rest of the scripts. On the drive home I got rational. Chantix to be used properly one needs to smoke for a week after beginning it. I told my son....I saw no point in starting smoking again, just to quit when I was already through the worst 4 days of it. Naturally, when you've first quit....you can justify any excuse to have a cigarette, but I just felt that I was through the worst of it, and I didn't want to go through it again. I didn't even get that scrip filled. I do have some old nicotine patches in the cupboard here IF I felt I needed them, but so far, so good. I do still have 3/4 pack of Marlboro Menthol sitting here on my table. I thought my daughter-in-law would've tossed them and was surprised to see them there when I came in. While I thought about tossing them out....I decided to leave them where they were. Partially as a reminder than I've taken control of that part of my life and IF I decdided I wanted one, I could have one. Honestly....so far....they haven't been even the slightest temptation. I have the cravings just like anyone else, but not because that pack of cigarettes is setting there. If the temptation gets too great, I'll just recall what it was like lying on that gurney.
That's my smoking-life story, and now it will be replaced with my non-smoking life story.
