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Share your quitting journey

Calmer day today?

smorgy8513
Member
0 7 9
‎10-01-2013 07:57 AM

So, seems like there was a little excitement and debate going on here yesterday.   Who Gnu got some opinions going (good thing!) and then there was the posturing about relapsing.   That got me to thinking about how we are all so different in so many ways.   We have our own ideas, opinions and values and (as also said here yesterday) sometimes we carry them from childhood on.   I've always said that I taught my sons my values when they were young, then they get older they need to decide if they keep them for themselves or not.    

But whatever we believe and hold to be of value...we also need to be open to learning and listening to the values of others AND the wisdom that others have accrued through their experiences.    That's where this site is so valuable.  I know alot about smoking..did it for years, I even know quite a bit about the harmful effects of smoking (lost family members) but those things weren't enough to get me to quit and to hold on to a quit if I started.

The Elders and Wise Ones (I think these folks are in various stages/lengths of their quit but they GET IT) are the ones we need to listen and pay heed to.     It bothers me when I see someone come on here and start to give advice when they haven't started their journey or are in first, baby-steps of it.        I wonder if these are people who are needing to feel important, feel heard or (heaven forbid) really think they do know as much as the ones who have years of experience under their belt.

So, back to my original thought....we are all so different, yet we all have the same goal if we are coming here in honesty and commitment.   

I hope that my "preaching" is not seen as those I mentioned above....I KNOW that I DON'T KNOW more than I DO KNOW and that's why I come here....I learn each and every day.

Thanks to all of you who teach me.

I have 57 days of Freedom.

NOPE.

Sharon

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7 Comments
Patty-cake
Member
‎10-01-2013 08:05 AM

You are very wise in the first 57 days of your smoke free life.

Thanks for the blog, Sharon. 🙂

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Bee_Jay
Member
‎10-01-2013 08:11 AM

Cheers to you,Sharon! Have a wonderful day!

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sherry102
Member
‎10-01-2013 09:25 AM

Yep 🙂 Have a good day 🙂

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phyllis-12-7-15
Member
‎10-01-2013 10:38 AM

Well said.

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havoc2
Member
‎10-01-2013 11:21 AM

The first post on that blog expressed just an opinion that tried to help, that was logical and clearly expressed that it wasn't out of expertise. The community reaction was baffling, which I pointed out, maybe in a rather hostile manner? Sure, but from the start I got negativity here. I had written a blog (first and only now deleted) where I opened up, and most of what I got was the same bottled comments, that didn't address me as individual. Or what about someone who contacted me to push me because my profile wasn't like the rest of yours.
I should point out, that after I called the community out, some people here started contacting me privately to argue? Is that the attitude of a support community? Of a bunch of grown ups that should know better?
That with the exception of WhoGnu and a lovely lady whose name escapes me, the lot of you attacked me instead of trying to explain and trying to understand where I come from. And kept, even after I had left trying to belittle me, like an insane lynching mob.
As community, have you ever wondered how there aren't persons here with more diverse background and opinions, who have successfully quit (they do exist)? Or why there aren't more young people here?
Yes, I curse, I approach people differently, but when I'm serious I don't bully people to change them and fit into the hivemind.
And I bet I wasn't the first one, was I? How many others, who were honestly looking for help, have you shunned? And more will come, this is why I'm writing this, so you can open your mind and try to be more tolerant of others who would benefit from this place.
Keep that in mind as what it is, the insight from someone with a different background who has the same goals as everyone else here, because I'm not here to argue with anyone, I have work to do.
Buena suerte y adios!

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kitty31
Member
‎10-01-2013 01:22 PM

its not about preaching its that it helps to support others while your going through the same thing it keeps your mind off yourself and boosting someone else in need and around .

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kitty31
Member
‎10-01-2013 01:22 PM

its not about preaching its that it helps to support others while your going through the same thing it keeps your mind off yourself and boosting someone else in need and around .

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About the Author
Gone but Not Forgotten. RIP I've thought so many times about quitting, done a few quits with the longest being 9 months. Blamed that relapse on my sister because she broke her hip. This time I feel different 8/5/13:The first day of my forever quit. About me? Well, I'm old enough that I am going to semi-retire (work 2 days per week) starting in October, 2013. I have 2 grown sons, 2 older sisters, 2 cats. I'm passionate about my work, love mystery books. I give all the glory for my work, any successes I may have to God and prayer. I have a lot of people praying for me right now and that is where I feel the strength. I also am finding strength, information and support from this site. I hope I can offer some of that to others when I get past the newbie stage. 9/4/13 30 days today!! I've learned so much since I've been coming here each morning (and sometimes at night). Words: choose, not try-----decision----not giving anything up, but gaining---I'm worth so much more than a cigarette. These are only a few of the pearls of wisdom that I've taken to heart. So many great people. I learn something each and every time I come on here. I'm learning about myself too. I teach clients everyday that feelings are feelings and ok to have, but I've always fought that concept myself. I heard when I was little "what have you got to cry about?" so I learned not to cry. If anger was shown it meant going back and shutting the door 10 times quietly or maybe getting the wrath of my parent. So, I learned not to cry, not to feel anger. I'm learning now that I have those feelings and that smoking pushed them aside and down. They are there and real. Now I'm trying to learn how to show and express them instead of going off by myself for a smoke. I have supporters. The biggest pride is what I feel in myself. With each day I wake up I can say "Today is day ____" and I feel proud. Not the kind of pride like I could never fail. That is a realization and why I need to be aware and conscious each moment. No, smoking doesn't solve anything. And today I am proof that I can go on without the crutch of a cigarette! 8/5/17 4 Years Quit!!! Who would have "thunk" it? I never took responsibility for my relapses, always blamed whatever it was that occurred. So, when I quit on 8/5/13 I knew I REALLY wanted it to work, knew that I needed as much support as I could get but I think deep down I was afraid this one wouldn't take either. So, I did as much positive as I could: Chantix, prayer, atomic fire balls, telling friends AND coming to the EX many times throughout the day. The people here became my friends as well as my family. I could share when I was struggling and get encouragement. Have there been struggles in my life since then that would have "caused" me to smoke in the past? Of course! Life goes on and troubles happen even when you don't smoke. I lost my sister who was also my best friend, my diagnosis of lung cancer and the treatment that has gone on since then (dr tells me "not curable, but treatable"). Would smoking make any of those things better? OF COURSE NOT! But when you're an addict the brain tells tons of lies to you..... Newbies: use the resources that the EX provides to you and you will have major milestones too. I thank my family here and love each and every one of you that have helped me! Too many names to mention.