Hi! My name is Thomas. Many of you may not know me as it has been quite a while since I posted a Blog. I have 11 years without one single puff. So I'm here today to update my friends and Ex family as well as share some helpful information I have learned recently that might be helpful for beginners.
First, where have I been and what have I been doing? Well, I have COPD and during the pandemic my quality of life really dipped. Since COPD is a progressive illness caused by smoking I could have just blamed this decline on the progression of my disease and accepted this state of being. Acceptance is after all a big part of change. But it has it's place. So when do we accept our fate like "I'm addicted to smoking and will always be a smoker. I've tried dozens of times to quit smoking and just can't!" So is this thought one that we can just accept as our destiny? Absolutely not! Anybody can quit smoking whether they have smoked their entire adult life, have been heavy smokers, live with a smoking spouse or roommate, have chronic illness, pain, mental illness and other seeming obstacles to smoking cessation.
I'm not just saying this. I can testify to having severe depression, anxiety, and COPD/Asthma. I tried more times than I can count to quit smoking with sometimes no success at all to sometimes temporary success. My longest quit had been a bit over a year. Then I joined BecomeanEX Community in 2010. It helped me to know how to quit; set me up for accountability; and most important of all, felt cared for and about and accepted for who I am and my current stage of quitting.
Yes, I said stage! Quitting, contrary to common belief, is not a moment - "I quit smoking now let's move on!" It is a journey of self growth that lasts a lifetime. Looking at it as an event is self defeating. Does that feel overwhelming? We're here to help you understand, cope with and feel supported through each of these stages. We've been there.
So how do we know what to accept and what to change? It goes back to the Serenity Prayer:
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
But before I get into the nuts and bolts of change, I'll return to the topic of where have I been. I prayed this prayer frequently as of late and asked myself this question: do I have to accept the decreased quality of life I'm experiencing or are there things I can change. As it turns out, there is a lot I can do! It won't be easy and it won't be an event - it will be a lifelong journey!
I came across a tool that was very helpful in sorting the change that if I accept this mission, will be challenging but doable! More on this later. Like most of us, for me change is hard! This for me, is due to a lack of insight or full awareness into my problems. I also found myself in this stage due to numerous unsuccessful attempts to change that have led me to give up trying. It is also within this stage that my desire to change has been strongly influenced by misinformation from others who are aware of my problem, even my Doctors, and don't like me upsetting their boat!
So what was this helpful tool? It's called the Wellness Wheel and can be used by anybody to become aware their own wellness or lack thereof. Actually, nicotine use in all it's forms adversely effects every aspect of the wheel!
https://www.unh.edu/healthyunh/blog/tobacco/2017/11/tobacco-and-wellness-wheel
For me, it showed me the parts of wellness I can change - all of them! Baby steps - not in one fell swoop!
So the first step for me is occupational. After exhausting every possibility of accommodating my work to my health and visa versa, I have initiated a long term disability claim with the knowledge that I may not be able to return to work ever. From there I am setting up short term goals toward addressing 2 or 3 dimensions of the wheel each week. Do you know that saying, "You can't eat an elephant in one bite!" My goal for the first week was to make my environment more COPD friendly. The second week my goals were oriented toward emotional and spiritual dimensions of my life. The third week I picked up on the process of physical health through exercise, diet, and sleep. This week my goal is social which is one reason I came here today - helping you helps me! I'm also able to spend more time with my sons and precious grand daughters, Penelope and Tahlia! They're 5 and 3 years old now, by the way! And being here stimulates my intellect. So far my financial status has been impacted in that long term disability only pays 60% of my normal working wage - so it also is ongoing. But one or two things at a time!
Whether you're thinking about quitting, just beginning to quit, in your early stage of quitting or really anywhere on your quit journey, I highly recommend the Wellness Wheel as one of many tools to help you evaluate the change you are embarking on. Change is hard, no doubt about it! But it is also doable! And we're here to help 24/7. The starting point is knowledge and awareness.
LLAP!
