Beware of counting

[dm3378]

I know this probably goes against all the quit smoking rules but my thought is-  beware of counting.  I've been on my quit for 4 weeks.  I have had some slip-ups in that time but i refuse to restart my clock.  I don't know that days, hours, minutes since I smoked because I am an ex-smoker.  I am on a nicotine patch which helps me realize that I don't NEED a cigarette-  I simply want one.  When I've slipped-  I realize it did nothing for me.  It's simply another step towards breaking a 15 year habit.  My addiction is still being dealt with through the patch.  I read "the easy way" by Allen Carr to break the nicotine brainwashing-  I listen to presleep hypnosis at night to get to my subconscious.  And I keep my list-  which contains the most important reason-  I want a cigarette-  but I don't want the hundreds that go with being a smoker.  That part of my life is done.  If I restart my clock-  it's like landing at the bottom of the hill I just climbed.  And giving me a reason to give up.  I'm not giving up-  you haven't stopped your journey to a healthy lifestyle-  you just tripped.  I'm not saying it's OK to smoke-  I'm saying that forgiving yourself and learning from it is part of the journey.  I keep my mind focused on I AM AN EX SMOKER.  And the mind is a powerful thing

[bella65]

mmm not sure what to say on this.but if you slipped in the 4 weeks that you have quit.you need to reset your clock...i had an 18 month quit and smoked for 2 weeks and ive started over i have a 7 1/2 month quit now and its going awesome....but when we slip we usually have to start.over....

[Ex_Nancy]

When you smoke and use the nicotine patch at the same time, you could have a heart attack from a nicotine OVERDOSE. Read the instructions; depending on the dose that you use, you must wait 48-72 hours before smoking again... As for the slipping, that implies that you fell on some ice...smoking cigarettes is not an accident,  it's an ADDICTION and must be regarded as such....wanting to smoke, and smoking, is feeding the addiction to nicotine....that's why smoking cessation means stopping smoking 100%  You are NOT the exception to the rule of nicotine addiction, you are believing the lies of the addiction...

[aztec]

Not one puff!

I would rather brethe than smoke,

smoking doesn't help anything

i don't have to do that to myself anymore.

One leads to amillion.

the urge will pass wether you smoke or not.

Do what keeps you honest, the people that I have seen that slipped started their clocks over . I haven't had the experience of smoking since I started my clock so I can't speak from my personal experience. but I would think that one drag would put you on a slippery slope to full blown additction

STAY honest, the train runs for milestones earned and other people look at our clocks to see how much sobriety we have.

it's your conscious but I would start over until you get it right.

just saying.

aztec

[james41]

You have to get real. You are not at four weeks, you reintroduced the drug through a cigarette + the patch,, puts you in a constant withdrawal, and you smoked. You smoked,, it's that simple.   Recovery from any drug has to start with being honest with yourself. Justification and rationalization is rampant in  an addicts brain, just realize that, state you failed and start,, over many of us have,, I personally had to start over 3 times to get it right, but I wasn't looking at myself in addictive terms,, now I do, now I've been quit of all Nicotine for 27 months and I obsessed over cigarettes for 36 years!. The beginning starts with self reality and honesty.

You can do it!

[MoeUnfiltered]

Dear DM,I think this blog must have been inspired from above. I am glad you were honest on here.We take numbers seriously here.Smoking is an addiction.Not putting a number to how long you are quit is like being out in the ocean your ship hitting the rocks and not telling anyone where you are out of pride. Honesty,open-mindedness and willingness these are key to battling addiction. I believe you found Ex for a reason. Please consider changing your quit date. Not one puff no matter what! Moe smoke free two years ( since 2/5/10-a former 3.5 pack a day smoker)

[Thomas3.20.2010]

If you've been smoking then you aren't quit! NOT EVEN ONE PUFF EVER!

[jojo29]

Hi!! you are soo right !!!!!!! falling & forgiving urself is part of a journey. ur so right,but on the other hand when you hit that bottom of the hill you mention, your stating a new journey now by starting over!! Its ok people fall ,slip ,smoke all the time, I am a 40 yr smoker since iam 12 yrs old, so i been aroud the block some 🙂 I know first hand ONE DRAG is a drag away from a pk. eventually you will get there. been there done this quit a few times b4 i reli got it right. soo. smoking is an addiction just like drugs or alcohole.. my mother wouldnt eat rum cake b/c she was an alcoholic for 10 yrs and was in sobrity 20 something yrs.  if you slipped once or a few times that part of ur life is not over, Jst b/c you have to restart ur clock does not mean to give up that means you learn by ur mistakes, mistakes are made to be learn by. we all learn by our mistakes its part of growing. you have to be honest with urself. yes the mind is powerful, so change ur way of thinking and focus on ur quit, you came this far you can begin again 4 wks WAS great. sounds to me like ur using the trip as an excuse to smoke or give up dont romance the smoking if we do that, and dont look away ur gona make it ok to smoke just one and think its ok. you sound strong so you can do it, from start to all the wayyyy 🙂  keep ur confidence, be strong this is not the impossible thing to do like i once thought. also the first 4 months are the hardest, they mean the most, once you pass 4 months it gets alittle easier but ur guard must always be up, iam 530 days ill never let my guard down i no ppl that had yrs and went back,its all in the mind and its ur choice, we smoked b/c we wanted to.. I got lung disease and didnt want it but i got it anyway all from smoking, I was in my 30s, told to quit i didnt listin, a few here and there was ok, i was 44 told u neeed to quit i said yeaa ok, a few here and there wont hurt, now at 53 iam told you smoke you die, its now a matter of life or death, you now have end stages for copd with end stages emphysema & you need a lung transplant.. Well imagine my husband face along with my 4 kids & my family when i had to tell them this one. today iam only 23% lung function,just b/c i thought a few here & there wont hurt .. lung disease does not discriminate, ts gettin younger & younger these days. just met a girl 32 yrs old s the same thing, 32 yrs old, so if you wana smoke its ur choice but wouldnt you rather breath easy, iam on oxygen 24/7 I sleep with a bipap machine to avoid being vented. when you quit and ur reli into ur quit, ur gona see the difference in how you think now to then. Iam rooting for u, save ur life & ur lungs, they depend on you!! were all here if u need a boost. but u can do this.:) Joanne. smokefree 530 proud days/ a 40 yr smoker/ end stages copd ..

[froguelady]

I'm amazed that you think you are a non smoker if int the four weeks you have been smoking.  Even one puff is smoking, so you are not quitting untill there is NOT ONE PUFF EVER.  By not resetting your clock you are just kidding yourself that you have quit.  If this sounds harsh, it is the truth and sometimes the truth is harsh.  You are an addict like I am and like the "Elders" are.  No matter how long you have been quit you will always be one puff away from being a smoker again.

[shill57957]

Hi there,  I just wanted to add my two cents.  I am 256 days nicotene & smoke free.  The reason I am free for so many days is the understanding of the difference between being "a smoker" and "a nicotene addict".  You are still thinking wrong.  You need to understand and accept the fact that you are a nicotene addict and that is what this is all about.  Take the word smoker completely out of your vocabulary.  The cigarette was just "your needle",  "your method" of getting the drug nicotene. 

Understand that, get that straight in your head, start over in your mind and learn life without the cigarettes, and wean off the nicotene asap.  Follow the directions on the package and get yourself seperated from smoking and off the nicotene.  It takes 72 hours for nicotene to be completely out of your system, then the cravings are gone forever.  

Get yourself free from nicotene and take Not One Puff Ever again, regain your life, your freedom.  It is a wonderful place to be.  

I smoked 1 1/2 packs a day for 27 years.  I tried to quit twice before, this is my third and final quit.  I am FREE!!!!

Sheri

[Breakinchains]

non smokers don't smoke, period. Not one puff. If you smoke at all, you are still a smoker. Listen to yourself. "Reasons I want a cigarette?" Non smokers don't want cigarettes. They don't want them, they don't carry them, and they certainly don't smoke them. I think you need to be honest here, you are still smoking. 

[zinamarie]

If you are an ex-smoker, you don't smoke! Period! Under any circumstance. For any reason! at any time! Slip or no slip! etc. Throw the smokes out! REALLY QUIT! Reset your clock.  Get Honest with yourself.  Thank you for getting honest with us.  Protect Your Quit.  (You honestly must have suspected that something was not quite right about not resetting your clock or you wouldn't have written your blog!)  Just saying....

[pir8fan]

Forgiving yourself, and learning from your failures are very important! However you can not forgive yourself for things you have yet to finish! You can call yourself an EX smoker in all your public dealings! But, when you look in the mirror, you must be honest with yourself! If you quit smoking, and you are still smoking, you are not doing it right! It is time to start over! And, for all the criticism you are taking here, these are the same people who will be you biggest cheerleaders when you get it right!

You must realize that you can not call yourself an equal to those who have said, no, and honored their commitment to quit, every single minute, of every single day!

So count, or don't count. That is your call! But not smoking is the only thing that counts as a quit!

[Madyzsgocka]

To be an EX smoker is to not smoke, at all, ever. By all means, forgive yourself if you do smoke, but then stop again, not allowing it to blow out into full blown addiction again.  I disagree with you about counting tho. I believe that counting is very important. It is our self REWARD for NOT SMOKING. It is tracking our accomplishment of day in, day out, no smokes, no puffs, notta. You do what you think is best for youself, all we ask is that you be honest - again, most importantly, with yourself.

[serpas97]

This post came at a good time for me.  I'm on day 32 and it's gone pretty smooth so far.  But today I found myself actually thinking, maybe after a year I could reward myself with just one.  It really feels like the stages of mourning sometimes.  I think this was my bargaining stage. Stupid, because that's how I started back after an 8 year quit.  I now understand NOPE.  

[JonesCarpeDiem]

your concept of not smoking does not appear to coexist with the opinions of those above?

could you expect it would?

you can make up your own excuses but

you can't just make up your own rules with this

[dm3378]

Wow- I'm not sure that I'll visit this site again-  apparently having an opinion is against the grain.  Sanctimonious non-smokers are not encouraging for people on a quit.  The first thing I wanted to do after reading these posts is to light up.  According to the posts-  I've failed and my progress so far is irrelevant.  There is a difference between enabling/condoning and condemnation.  I thought this was a place to encourage- not condemn.  I'm very happy for all you who have MANY days on your clock.  But each quit/and person is different.  I've quit before-  and counted my clock.  Needless to say-  it didn't work.  This time I am focused on changing my life-  I see counting the days as still obsessing about smoking.  One post was right- non-smokers don't think about smoking.  I see clock counting as dwelling on it.  That is my opinion.  I am not downplaying the importance of the clock to others-  I'm simply looking at it a different way.  I hope that someone else will see my post and instead of feeling defeated and giving up-  going back to regular smoking (which I did 2 months ago before starting again)  that they will realize the lessons they've learned are useful and important steps towards a smoke-free life. 

I didn't light up-  and won't.  But it definitely WAS NOT because of the "encouragement"  I recieved here!

[dm3378]

By the way-  I reset my clock.  Because it's not my motivation it doesn't matter to ME.  I have never been accused of being less than honest.  This blog has really bothered me so I'm not sure why I did it-  I doubt I'll be back.  But maybe just a thought-  the STRONG judgements of others is not encouragement.  Maybe the posters have discouraged the people who might have seen my side-  and they just went back to smoking or left the site-  just a thought...

[james41]

YOu name it we've read it here there is nothing 'terminally unique' here to any of us,, ,, If you use the clock or not isn't the  problem any of us have,,, I loved mine for the first year and now after over two,  I hardly ever look at it unless questioned about it. The problem is that you thought you still could add 4 weeks to a total amount of time you had been quit,,, and you simply can't if you smoked within that particular 4 weeks,, you just have to start over. People have gotten mad and left here many times, it has happened since the beginning of the site, it only hurts you and gives you a reason to smoke. You'll not find a more supportive bunch, I promise,, but tickle your ear and always agree with you and pet you and enable you?,,,, that's not what it's about. So face you are an addict,, pick yourself up, swallow your pride and start over,,,,,,,, we'll be here for you I promise! Peace, James,,, free of Nicotine over two years!!!

[owlfeather]

"Every quit is different".  In my 3 years here, the only people who say that are the ones who are still smoking.  I went round and round with James on that, 3 years ago, and guess what?  He is still quit, and I still struggle. I am on 7 days now.  Again. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... So my opinion is:  If you smoke, you are a smoker.  If you don't smoke, you are an Ex Smoker.  No one has condemned you as far as I can tell.  The truth is kinda hard to swallow, some take offense, please don't do that,  these are all good people with EXcellent advice, they will never lie to you, or tell you what they think you may want to hear.  Only you can do this, but these folks will be your best cheerleaders.  It is normal for a new quitter to be hypersensitive, so just sleep on it before you pull out ....

[Sootie]

dm3378----

Before you decide to leave this site, you should (for your own sake) re-read the comments you received. I don't think anyone was being sactimonious. MOST people on here agreed with you on a point or two. BUT---thei is EX and we all have opinions and we all state them. If you stay and become one of the community, you will need to agree to disagree because we are not a YES group. We say what we think.

FOR EXAMPLE!!! Mady thinks counting is VERY important and that makes counting very important to Mady. Who am I to take that from her? BUT, counting is not and never has been important to me---as a matter of fact, I don't like counting....anything....makes me feel my life is ticking away. BUT, that's just me. Mady and I have co-existed here on EX for a long time. We like each other but we do not always have the same thoughts.....IT'S A BLOG----NOT THE BORG!!!!

So if you are joining us---welcome. But get ready for agreement AND disagreement in whatever you post....we are a living community.

[Giulia]

Beware of junkie thinking.  In my experience this blog is an excellent example of such. 

If the quitting methods you're using are working, if they are bringing you closer to your ultimate goal, to success - great.  If not, then they need to be re-examined.  Quit clocks are of no importance to some.  If it doesn't breed success for you, scrap it.  One must take what works and release what doesn't. 

But just out of curiosity, how many slips are you going to allow yourself in your journey to being quit?  One?  Two?  Ten?  Each slip is simply another excuse to smoke.  I assume you know that.  You can't spend any time on this site and not know that.  There must come a point when you allow no more slips.  When you put them down for good.  When you say NO MORE.  PERIOD.  Otherwise you're just playing with your quit.  AND torturing yourself in the process. 

If you're in tracking mode, cutting down - that's one thing.  But once you've set that quit date, once you've made that commitment, you can't allow for slips.  Quitting is a non-slip surface.  Otherwise you're skating on thin ice and will constantly keep breaking through into the icy waters of failure. 

This is a great blog for it has encouraged many responses (on a Sunday yet!).  And these are some of the best  I've ever encountered here.  All are valid, full of  wisdom and - for the open minded - extremely valuable to the learning process. 

I think it would be wiser to stay than to leave the site.  But if you can't take the heat....  It's because we are very passionate about quitting.  Justifiably so.   For we have worked very hard, have made many sacrifices and have walked the walk.  We know whereof we speak.  It would be beneficial to listen.  We say what we do because we want you to be free.  Simply that.  We have no other motivation.  For your success is OUR collective success.  (Speaking from a humble six year quit..)

[Newfound_Joy]

Hi dm,  I totally GET the point you are making about not putting so much emphasis on the countdown clocks.  I am happy to see that you are getting serious about quitting smoking for good.  For myself, I focus on TODAY.  Just getting through this 24 hour period without having a cigarette. 

I can relate to what you are saying because I have failed my quit too many times to count.!!  (Probably way more than you.)  The last time I had 83 days smoke free and broke down and smoked 2 lousy sickorettes.  For MYSELF, I had to come clean with this group and re-start my clock.  Yes, it BROKE MY HEART. Yes, I had to EAT HUMBLE PIE!! I learned that a State Smoking Cessation counselor would have called this a "mini-relapse"  and would have not made me start over.  But I knew I would be ONLY CHEATING MYSELF.  If I didn't come clean with the EX world, then it would be easier to cheat again the next time and the next.  And I TRULY DID WANT TO GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME!! 

I believe that subconsciously you knew the reaction you would get by posting this blog.  I think that you really did want to admit you had a couple of "slip ups" to get a reaction going.  (which you SURE did!!)  I only ask you one question:  Are you looking for a good reason to start smoking again?  This addiction is so incredibly powerful and conniving and deceptive that it is ALARMING the lengths that we go to.  Remember, now, I come to you as one who has failed many, many, many times. 

You made the right move by re-starting your clock.  In the long run, it will be very special to you.  I saw a sign today that said "SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE....IT'S NON-FATTENING."   I admire and appreciate your honesty!!  Keep coming back!!!

[anglerspride-otg]

Wow,,,  I see how one makes you a smoker.  What am I really up against here..  This might be too difficult for me..  But I keep trying.  I have a clock on my Ipad, an have started it over and over..  "Maybe this will be the day I quit for good"  I am still learning..

I am thinking the patch might help some, but what about coming off the patch???  Should I go cold turkey?  Are my electronic cigs really that wrong???  They take the edge off the craving.. 

Maybe I'll never be quit..

[dm3378]

I'm stilling looking over this blog- for me it's mostly like watching a car accident-  it's scary but still intriguing.  anglerspride-  PLEASE DONT GIVE UP!!!!  I did it that way in January-  watched my clock and went cold turkey-  obviously, it did not work.  I got myself so psyched out watching the time tick by until I decided I couldn't do it anymore. AND I WENT BACK TO A PACK A DAY.  THis time I've been HONEST with myself-  I am my own worst critic-  and the more critical I am, the more I psych myself out that being a non-smoker just isn't possible for me.  But IT IS!!!  The patch has helped me-  but it might not be for everyone.  I do recommend reading 'the easy way to quit smoking' by allen carr-  i didn't go cold turkey like he recommends (this time)  but understanding your motivation to smoke and turning it around is the biggest helper of the book.  I am a work in progress-  like most others-  and I can't guarantee I won't break.  But I am seeing life differently as I've changed my habits and I finally come to the conclusion-  I CAN QUIT SMOKING AND STILL ENJOY LIFE.  It doesn't define who I am.  Please keep reading and searching-  and maybe take your eye off the clock for a minute-  you can always look at it again tomorrow.  Just focus on not smoking today. forever can be intimidating

[Ex_Nancy]

Look over these from whyquit.com... 

  

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[jojo29]

hey dm,,, why cut ur nose to spite ur face or how ever that goes. If ur serious about quitting you would see where everyone was going here, nobody here was out to hurt u in any way, you took it that way b.c thats what we do when in denial, I was there, I no.

As for the clock, to each his own, that clock for me was something to go on,NOT DWELL ON!! It was telling good for u joanne, u have one more successful day, which btw i then challenged for another day more, Im 531 days, I think I did good for myself, i agree everybody is different and will handle situation there own way yeaaa.. but .. not one puff ever, in my post to u last night, I told you that when ur done reli done quitting,and quit for over a yr you will be thinking differently.if u choose to smoke well thats ok to, I dont put anyone down,its ur life anf ur lungs ur destorying i already destroyed mine.all im saying is think long and hard about ur life and i no ur sensitive right now but try not to be, people here are here for the same reason u are, the truth is the truth.. dont take it personal, use it as a toll to help u, and not everybody has to agree, we are here to agree to disagree 🙂 & thats ok reli, means we all have our own opinions thats all. .well hope u have a good day!! & enjoy ur quit..Joannexoxox