I've been whining a lot on here this week, and I thank you all for giving me the space to do it and honoring me with your honest insight from what I've written. I feared that without smoking, I would not be able to handle stress and solve problems. The Old Me would retreat to the backyard when faced with unpleasantness. I realize now it wasn't the smoking that calmed me down to think about what to do-- it was the stepping away for a moment and to give it some thought. It was the time out I needed.
The New Me is learning I can still ask for a moment to think. The New Me is recognizing that very often you have to tell others what you want or need. Zuul is quite upset that I am discovering how to be a grown-up and own my life.
I am 43, a mom of a 12 and 16 year old, a teacher, an exercise instructor, a personal trainer, a wife, a sister, a friend. I've managed to do very well for myself with Zuul on my back. But I didn't succeed because of him. It was rather in spite of him.
