Bad, bad, day

[allisonbmorgan]

Hi.  I don't even know where or how to start this post.  I am normally a kind, soft, passive person.  However--I am feeling sooo angry right now.  Honestly, I am just plain pissed off.  I want to smoke so bad.  I don't want to smoke so bad. I hate this place.  I want to just go to sleep till its over.  This is horrible.  Had so much to celebrate this weekend...our daughter graduating college...mothers day...my husband made a wonderful meal for us.  Its just not enough. Crap.  I don't know how to deal with this.  I've read, I've prepared, I've known about the bad times.  I'm just feeling sooo low.  And, I know, if I were to smoke, I would feel even worse.  OMG!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

so get through

[Starlite]

That about sums it up,  but notice in the midst of it all you stated "I don't want to smoke so bad", that is what will help you along this journey as you have commited to this quit.It is a journey so - hold on. You CAN do this, you can. You are equipped with the knowledge, keep reading and re-reading if you need to and blog away. There will be more good days than bad, so hang in  there. Focus on the good things, breathe, drink lots of water, breathe, read, breathe, exercise.....Rooting for you. Yipeeeeee You Can.

[allisonbmorgan]

Thank you!

[cinjon]

Reread your reasons for quitting and right down more of them.  How proud you must be of your daughter, don't you want to be with here in those exciting times that lie ahead.  Every time you smoke you take time away from that future.  How about living a nice long healthy life together with your husband, tobacco free.  Smoking will do nothing for you but just make you more upset, don't quit your quit.  Allison you were smart to reach out, stay on the site and let the moment pass.  The team is with you.

[MarilynH]

You did the right thing by coming here to blog, we're all here for you , believe in yourself and continue to be willing, determined and totally committed and you can and will be successful in this your precious ongoing beautiful quit. N.O.P.E - NOT One Puff Ever - will give you a fantastic smoke free life because S.I.N.A.O - Smoking Is Not An Option - keep on stacking up your splendiferous days of freedom. 

[allisonbmorgan]

Wow!  thank you all for responding.  I also texted my daughter about my forseen weekness.  She was very encouraging.  Also, I did not tell the group, she is engaged to be married the end of October this year.  We have lots of happy things to look forward to and I had when the "smoking demon" gets ahold of me.  That, obviously, is what has happened the last few days.  I could not separate myself enough to know that that was what was going on.  Thank you all for your encouragement.  I can see the future but the finish line gets a bit blury at times.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

The feelings will pass and you will still have your Beautiful Quit!

Breathe slowly! Relax into the stress as much as you can!

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Thomas3.20.2010-blog/2015/09/02/relaxing-into-tension

[YoungAtHeart]

Life is always going to happen - and there will be good and bad days to come.  How you respond to them is what is important.  Go pound on a pillow - or yell into it - or go for a brisk walk, or march in place until you are sweaty!!!  Get it OUT without smoking.  You are relearning how to deal with life, with all its warts, without smoking.....so DO it!

Nancy

[nanawendy]

Allison, You can do this !!  Look ahead to your daughters wedding.  You won't miss anything because you won't be outside somewhere getting your nicotine fix !!! Hang in there and remember your reasons for quitting.  It does get better, but the only way out is through.  When you get ready for bed tonight just say Another Day Won !!

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[djmurray]

Allison, I post this periodically for newbies who are going through the yearnings.  When it doesn't feel like "enough" without cigarettes, think about this:

How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.

He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.

He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.

Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?

Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.

But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.

But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.

Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Allison, it will get better -- it's learning how to live life without that so-called friend up in all your business.  Reach out, blog your heart out, read the good stuff here and at whyquit.com. Stay close -- I know it's what helped me tremendously at the beginning.

You CAN do this.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Wel it has only been 8 days.  You should be very proud of yourself.  The journey does not always start off easy. The key to being successful is educating yourself.  Spend time learning about nicotine addiction and the thought of smoking will go away

[Giulia]

Those BAD BAD days are gonna happen.  Throughout our quit journeys.  8 Days, or  8 years.  Of course there's a wealth of EX perience between those periods, but if you hold fast to the commiitment you've made - no matter what, no matter how, no matter when nor why, you will have 8 years behind you one day.  And you will understand that the journey has been worth it all along.  Despite those desperate moments when you questioned it all.

Remember - you wanted this enough to come here and put your ALL into it.  And  you've achieved what you want.  Just keep remembering you want it. 

[prague]

I quit a couple of months ago. I know what you're experiencing. You need to want to quit strongly. I have an 18-year-old daughter. I'm a single mom. I NEED to live for my daughter, a freshman in college, We don't have a close family who live near us. My daughter and I are very close. She wants me to be around to meet her children. This is primarily why I'm going through this hell. I know it's not easy to say the least. Think of all of those who love you. BTW I've been wearing the 21mg nicotine patch, which has taken the edge off. Please send me a message if you care to. My thoughts are with you.

[Dotgirl_1-28-16]

This too shall pass...Your commitment to not smoke even though youre having a bad day shows just how commited you are to yourself and your quit. YOU GOT THIS!!! WTG

[TerrieQuit]

You don't really want to smoke, you said it yourself! Hang in there! You are stronger than ou tink!

I Won't Quit on my Quit!

[Strudel]

I hope today has been a better day! I remember one day, early in my quit, when I was overwhelmed by a particularly bad day. Suddenly it hit me - I would always have tough days - I did before I quit and I have since I quit! However, I can tell you that it does get better! 

You are doing this - you should be so very proud of yourself!