Feeling good. Sure wanted to smoke yesterday! But I didn't, I won't, I will not! Never another puff! I made it thru it. Today is better. Also, lost 2 of the 10 pounds I have gained since May 1st. Gaining weight and not being able to smoke. Crap...crap...crap... Ok, so maybe I'm not feeling good. My mind is racing today. I'm anxious again. Want it all to go away. I know, I know...stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be strong, get control, stop being a baby....I'm working on it. Just not very well right at this moment. But, I know this moment will pass and I have to get thru it. I can do this! I am in control! These are the feelings I had last time when I smoked. I realize that and am not going to let that happen this time. So here I am rambling on....trying to get control. Trying not to smoke! No not just trying - I am not going to. I have to remember last time when it did not make me feel better, made me feel worse, made me cry from the failure. Not going to go thru that again. I PLEGDE NOT TO SMOKE!
