So in my first blog and introduction of myself to this site, I said I quit and relapsed a lot. This is true. It is even truer to confess that I became a weekly smoker ever since I was pregnant and have not in the entirety of my pregnancy lasted a week even without smoking at least one cigarette.
That is until now....
Tomorrow morning I will have woken up without having had a single cigarette in a week. I'm taking baby steps, but I'm getting further than I ever have in my entire life aside from when I was forced to quit to go to BCT. No more guilt inducing self-defeating smoking. I am a non-smoker. I am an ex-smoker. I am a former smoker. I want to stay this way. NOTE TO SELF: Breath. Distract. Play with the girls...Do anything but that! Little steps big results....time to heal!
I am keeping my mind in the one day at a time, frame. This is good. This helps. I am working out more often, and sleeping more. I feel really great. Mostly, I am happy knowing I am not harming my baby by giving into my selfish urges. I can do this. Just remind myself "I don't do that anymore!"
So that's all. I needed to tell myself that this is a huge accomplishment for me even though it seems pathetic simultaneously. I am proud of this and am visualizing it is a trend that will continue for the rest of my life. N.O.P.E.
