Well, here we go. Today is day one of my process. I am still smoking like a chimney today as I feverishly fill out my smoking tracking log. For those of you not using the BecomeAnEx program, one of the steps is to track your smoking habit over a three or so day period in order for one to better understand one's addiction.
In the first hour of being active, I have smoked four five cigarettes already. I can easily count them because I have two ash trays. One I use while smoking. When this one fills up, I dump it into another to give the butts and coals more time to extinguish. When it is time to dump the first into the second, I empty the second into the trash. I do this mainly to help ensure I don't burn the house down (oh, such a responsible smoker am I). It is a simple, yet detailed and sick, oh-so-sick, process. To think that one would give that much thought to the smoking process but not as much to what each cigarette is doing to my body.
At any rate, even though I have not yet quit, writing this blog and filling out the log give me the sense that I am doing at least something. I just pray that the Lord will help me continue being diligent and stick to the process. It is "easy" right now because while I am writing this, I am just puffing away. For those of you that read my first blog entry, I am fully expecting people to have some sense of righteous vindication when my quit date arrives and these blog entries take on a less-than-cordial tone and I begin to curse the lungs with which I breath and the brain that controls them.
Another thing I plan to do today is to tell close friends and family that don't already know, that I am quitting smoking (not that I "plan" to quit). In the past I kept the act of quitting to myself and revelled in the fact that I could "surprise" them when they find out that I actually quit. The only surprise ever received was when, after thirty minutes of quitting, I lit up another. My thinking is that this time, by telling those I care, it helps with the accountability aspect of quitting. I'm gonna hate hearing joyful words of encouragement when my sweat glands are working overtime, my mouth is dry, my mind is racing, and my body goes into convulsions (okay, maybe it won't be that bad). However, the social accountability aspect will help, I know.
The final thing I find myself doing today is looking for triggers. I have come to the sad realization that I won't be able to watch CNBC, Fox News, MSNBC, or CNN in the first couple of weeks in the process. Every time I hear election propaganda or hoopla, hear the fluff-bull about why the price of a barrel of oil just shot up, or any other topic a news/politics junky allows to make his/her blood boil, I find a self-righteous reason to burn one. For those of you wondering, I am neither Democrat nor Republican. I vote my conscience and not for what the media or others thing for which I should cast my vote. At this point in time, I find myself more frequently voting for....................
Fortunately the price of oil continues to drop. Unfortunately, I feel the urge to smoke a cigarette to celebrate.
Oh such a sick, sick habit!
