This was a very busy but productive day at work and getting ready for brief vacation. At the end of my work day, I walked outside with my friend, watched her jump in her car and light a cigarette. Then this little voice in my head said why don't you join her it is afterall Friday.
I just idenified another trigger and it is Friday. Friday is a day I would stop grab a pack, go home and blow a 5 day refrain. As I write this, I can still see her with that nasty think sitting in her mouth.
As soon as I realized what I was thinking, I began the self talk of how just plain stupid it would be for me to smoke at this point. Instead of going home, I went to Walmart and did some shopping. The amount of time it took to accomplish that errand is all it took to move past the craving and regroup. This also reinforced that I really have to be careful how much time I spend around smokers right now without support with me.
I have very few regrets in my life but ever touching tobacco is probably my greatest. I Hate Cigarettes. I Hate Smoking.I'm addicted to those stupid, ugly things. I want to remain smoke free forever this time. Not one puff ever must be my mantra.
Allzgr8.
