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Share your quitting journey

Advantages of Living With a Smoker

John10forteen
Member
9 19 1,237

You can make some dang good pulled pork shoulder!

Oh, I mean... the other smoker in the house. Relationships of any sort (siblings, parents, roommates, best friends, husband, wife, significant other, older children) Any of these can be the other smoker in the house.

Nothing to do with smoking but sometimes communication between people can be off track a bit, (I'll say black, she'll hear white, I'll see red, awww forget about it let's go to bed.) Another unresolved issue. These can do nothing but build up over the years, and we live with them. UNTIL WE STOP SMOKING! OMG, The blame game and fireworks start lighting up the house. 

Advantage #1 (ACCEPTANCE) Learning that we still have to live with all the perceived injustices we lived with when we were smoking. Nothing has changed because I chose to quit smoking, not the other smoker.This acceptance is an advantage because it gives me strength and understanding I didn't know I had.

My wife and I have tried quitting smoking "together" many times. Through these many processes, there were all the rules for the other smoker. Outside or on the porch, No ash trays in the living room, No borrowing cigarettes from the other, Game and scoring challenges to reward who smoked the less, washing ashtrays after each cigarette, only smoking at a specific time......... And then after all these weaning processes...... our quit date is upon us. One of us breaks over time and because we did it together the other usually breaks also, Always saying the same thing..... We'll try again, we did good.

Advantage #2 (COMPASSION) Realizing that this is MY QUIT! I OWN THIS AND YOU STAY AWAY, THIS IS MINE. When I realized this was mine and not, "ours" I became more protective of it and at the same time more compassionate towards the other smoker because they didn't own their own quit yet. We all know how hard it is to "Just to want to quit" never mind quitting. How can we not feel for the other smoker

Advantage #3 (SOCIAL INTERACTION) #1 AND #2 are real good benefits of living with the other smoker but #3 is pretty awesome too. The other smoker smokes during some of my favorite activities throughout the day but I'm glad I got my own quit going on. So when I go to activities away from my house that involve a lot of smokers, I'm already use to it and do not feel the need to alienate myself. My vehicles still smell like ashtrays.... it kind of sucks but now when I get into other peoples cars that smoke, it's no big deal. It allows me to be more social and less judgmental.

Advantage #4 (I'M A NON-SMOKER) I'm a non-smoker living peacefully with the other smoker. I am no longer a smoker living with another smoker.

NOTE: Small children, babies, the elderly,  COPD or other illnesses are ALL REASONS for the other smoker to change their habits, It's no reason for a quitter to lose THEIR QUIT!

19 Comments
Rhia
Member

Good post John.  I thought I was lucky that I am the only smoker in my family (both in my household, and in my extended family), and I don't have to be around it, smell it or be tempted to o back to it, but now you have me rethinking that 😉

JonesCarpeDiem

HaHaHaHa

You can tell yourself that smoke won't stink as bad as elephant farts in another month or that you love the smell of stale cigarettes in your house and on your wife.  You can hang with the same friends and tell me you won't have more urges to smoke than if you weren't hanging around smokers. That doesn't mean I believe you.

Tell me you feel the same, that none of this bothered you, when your at a year from your last puff.

Do a little observation of these people if you have to be around them smoking. See if you notice when they HAVE TO HAVE A SMOKE. Recognize the NEED and the ADDICTION, and the CONTROL they are under while you are not smoking and they are.

When you step back and look at this need that controls a smokers life, you will know the truth.

Jennifer-Quit
Member

Yes, we as ex-smokers, do have to learn to live in a smoking world.  I am thankful that I do not have to be around it very much.

Ms.J_11-10-2013

Oh My

I said "How was your day today"? He heard, "What are you doing out of the house"?

Uh Huh?  Really????

Keep rocking that quit!

Jackie

345 DOF

constanceclum
Member

John, I know you don't have copd and don't know much about it. No one does until it affects them. As Thomas will tell you, and he is our resident expert on copd, 2nd had smoke is as dangerous as smoking itself. You are doing gread however and you have been a wonderful support for me and you really are rocking. Hopefully you will provide an example for your wife and she will quit right behind you. It happens more than you think.

MarilynH
Member

Keep on keeping on, you're doing great. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

I think you will find this an interesting journey, and I hope you keep your observations coming! 

Nancy

promise_judy
Member

You are off on a amazing journey. Keep a positive attitude and believe me you will impress your smoking friends and family. You may just be able to get them to join you.

XOXO

freeneasy
Member

Interesting blog. Congrats on your quit.. One day at a time..

notjustaquitter

I can't imagine the struggle I'd have having cigarettes within my grasp!  Fortunately I live with 4 non-smokers, a dog and 3 cats.  I can promise, if any one of them picks up the habit I'm done for because I'd be bumming cigarettes all day long!  It's a good thing not a single one of them pass for over 18 even though my oldest cat is 17- she's small and would definitely be carded!

Good job living with a smoker and owning your own accomplishments!

Sheila

elvan
Member

Good way to look at it but guard your quit...as I was reading this, I thought you were farther into your quit.  I could not be around smokers for a while and now I seriously think the cat box smells better than stale smoke.  

You absolutely do own your quit and realizing that and hanging onto it are essential.

Ldavies_01
Member

The thing that I have noticed since I quit, is how all of the clothes smell like smoke as well. And I can finally taste food again. Lol

elvan
Member

This blog is six years old. I find that l can smell a smoker two aisles away in a store, HONESTLY! Ldavies_01‌ 

Food tastes MUCH better & WE SMELL much better.

Ellen

Gambler1111
Member

Slipped 

YoungAtHeart
Member

@Gambler1111 

Because you reached out on an old blog, only the people who originally responded to it will see yours, and a good many of them are no longer active on the site.  When you are ready, write a blog to update the rest of the community (Home, top left - then center blue box, "Post to My Journal/Blog").

Hope to see you there.

Nancy

Barbscloud
Member

@Gambler1111   I know you've been posting for a while so I'm not sure why you posted here. Do you live with a smoker?  I  assume you lost your quit with one word "slipped"

Please pick a new quit date and get back on track.  Tell us more.  What happened?  What can we do to help you?  We're here for you, so take advantage of the support you can received on the site.

Barb

Gambler1111
Member

I haven't given up.but am disappointed in myself 

Gambler1111
Member

Thank you barbsloud! 

Barbscloud
Member

@Gambler1111 Disappointed in ourselves is part of being addicted to smoking.  It's a tough road that took me 50 years to get to this point for 4 + years smoke free.  Did I ever think I could do this?  Heck no.   Go back and read the material about understanding nicotine addiction and having a plan to deal with the crap we face everyday instead of smoking.  It is so not easy, but when you understand the process and know that there are people here to support you, you begin to realize you can do this too.  Start here to build your plan and your confidence. Knowledge is power.  

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

We're here cheering you on.  Pick a new date and begin your journey to success.  Reach out anytime we can help. 

Hugs 

Barb