One of the two most important people in the world to me is having surgery Monday. It's just outpatient, and not that scary, but it is one of about 3 really stressful things going on this week. And I slipped.
In the past, that would be that. My inner Saboteur would tell me:
1)See, you are too weak. 2)Besides, you 'deserve' to opt-out of doing something challenging, you have enough to worry about. 3)Anyway, the stress of quitting is harming you more than if you just forget about it and keep smoking.
Yeah, that voice is a jerk! And I've learned to laugh at its stupid, lie-filled justifications. I've learned that when you're learning to walk, you might trip and fall, but that doesn't mean you are a failure.
My new pedometer and I are spending every day together. I reset my quit day for Tuesday, when I'm going to stay on my patch this time. If I keep one on at all times, I won't smoke... I'm far to paranoid to do something that dangerous! For now, I'm not smoking much, and continuing to replacing it with other activities. The last few weeks, I've been relearning non-smoker behavior. I frequently sit with a tea or water, or do some writing, or go for walks.
Went to an outdoor event for 5 hours last Saturday with my son, walking around and talking. Not only did I not have any cravings, but the thought did not even cross my mind once! It kind of reminds me of physical therapy: You got to keep stretching and developing the strength, working to train those muscles, until eventually it starts to feel natural and you manage to regain what you've lost. I'm gonna build my EX muscle until I've gained my freedom from the addiction prison.
