I noticed my days have a different flow to them now. It was not until I explained to a non-smoker how I could smoke a pack a day that I realized what a creature of habit I was. Get up, put on coffee, go outside and have a smoke. Come in and get a cup of coffee and go back outside for another smoke. Depending on my mood and how much time I had before getting ready for work, a third and sometimes a fourth or even fifth cig with a refill or two from the coffee pot, before showering and getting dressed for work
Shower, shave, get dressed and out the door .Smoke another two, three or four cigs in the car on the way to work. So when I get to school, to educate the young minds of tomorrow, I have already smoked anywhere from 6-10 cigs. Third period is my conference, get in the car, go for a drive, smoke a couple. Schools out, smoke another three or four before getting home.
Go outside for a smoke or two throughout the evening and maybe a cig or two before bed time. If drinking some beers add another 5-10 cigs (have to buy another pack or borrow from wife). Get up with dogs in the night to let them out, smoke one. Alarm goes off, start over again.
So at the end of the day, I smoke a pack or more. Never a day off. No holiday from smoking. No vacation days. Every day of every week was a "smoking" day. Christmas, Fourth of July, Easter; all smoking days. No days off, ever. Addiction knows no calendar. So my pack a day was really closer to a carton a week. But I would never buy cartons, just every day go to the gas station and buy a pack. Every day. Not always the same gas station (but usually). Find excuses to go outside to smoke, "Taking out the trash", "going to get a newspaper", anything. So sad and such a waste of money.
Nobody ever said, "What can I do today to ruin my health, smell bad, spend money and be a social outcast?" But that is what I did every day for 35 years. What in the hell was I thinking and how did I let cigarettes get to the point that my decision making was compromised by cigarettes? Just pathetic. So much time wasted and money gone "up in smoke." No more. Not One Puff Ever. My routine is not the same any more. I am a different man. I see things through a different lens now. Get out of the way because life lies ahead and I am gonna make that my new routine.
