A conversation with my sister...Day 42 baby...

[schneidl]

So, hot diggity dog...here I am Day 42. I think I'm going to go back and read a couple of my first blogs...

Anyway, I talked to my sis today. She is 5 years older than me. She smokes and has since about 15 (she's in her early 40's). She claims she has never thought about quitting and never will which makes me sad that she feels defeated before she even tries.  We were talking and I don't preach to her. I know better but we were discussing the new year and our goals and things we are doing this year or want to.

I want to run a 5k by year end. It is possible now. If I do the work, I can do it. I'm walking now and on Feb 1st, I will start the Couch to 5k.  I've also taken to eating better because now that I've quit smoking I feel like it will actually make a difference. It's like when I smoked I figured I was doing damage anyway, might as well not pay attention to anything. 

So we talk. She says "wow, your life sounds so boring now....you have to watch what you eat, you're exercising AND you can't smoke"....  I realized, I used to think like that.... like quitting smoking would be like losing a freedom that would make life less fun.  Granted, don't get me wrong... the watching what I eat sometimes is hard. Moderation is key in the whole eating junky stuff thing... but there is no such thing as moderation in smoking AND it is only because I quit smoking that I feel confident and worth doing the other stuff. 

So, the point is....lol... okay I'm not sure.... I guess just that it's all about perspective. I have to remember everyday that what I gained when I quit smoking FAR OUTWEIGHS any kind of supposed fake freedom my sister speaks of. I wish she could know the feeling I know now.  

I'll keep working on her and continue nurturing my quit. Okay maybe that was the point 🙂

[SmokedOut041412]

Hopefully one day your sis will see just how FREE and happy you truly are and follow your lead. You're doing great!

Lovin' your goals and your attitude 🙂

[beckie-56]

It sounds like she may be a bit jealous?  At any rate, keep up the good work, and I know you will be running that 5K!

[freedom-38]

Great post. I used to think that what's the point stuff all the time. But now, like you, I really feel like the healthier eating is making a difference.

Life is far from boring now!  because now we are living life! 

Great job on 42 days!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Take heart.  I was EXACTLY where your sister was for many years.  My doctor, friends could talk 'til they were blue in the face and it didn't do ANY good until I was ready.  

She may come around, but the surest way for her to tune you out is for you to try to push her.  Wonderful idea to tell her how great you feel., how the education and support system have made it so much easier than you imagined, etc.

Be proud of your accomplishment thus far!  Keep doing what your doing!

Nancy

[Jenny78]

Congratulations on 42 days and how do you get a person to stop smoking without preaching?  I am going to start a blog about this very subject.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

SID

SID

SID

Sister In Denial

what was it about smoking that we didn't get?

[Ex_Nancy]

Aha! Interesting isn't it...she sees you with a boring life. These people don't smoke anymore so they must be bored....that's the way most see it because they are in DENIAL! She doesn't know how much more relaxed you are, how much extra activity and exercise you can do now, how you are looking forward to new and exciting adventures coming up, how you can go to concerts, theatres,and other venues without being banned for smoking, how you can feel relieved about killing yourself,etc... She just can't see it now, but she will when you pave the way, while she's smoking at least every hour, because she has too. I have 2 sisters that still smoke and one of them is getting curious! Take care Schneid.!

[Patty-cake]

Day 42 baby....

You've come a long way baby. Scheidl you are doing so well. I love your goals and aspirations. The 5k is on the horizon.

I, also, have an older sister who still smokes. She is 8 years older than I and I see the writing on the wall with COPD just around the corner. Wish I could convince her, but like what we talk about here, small encouragements, living by example, things like that. Just wish she could experience what we are experiencing.

[I_am_free]

I'm surprised your sister said you must be bored with your life now.  Shocking and a bit sad.  Hopefully she will notice that you now have so much more going for you.  Congrats.

[jojo_2-24-11]

Congrats to you on 42! Carrying around a pack of cigarettes and a lighting device, along with worring about how many cigarettes are going to be enough to get through the night and into the next morning, as well as when you are going to get to smoke that next cigarette is the making of  an exciting life! Just saying.....

[Jordan-11-1-12]

Congratulations on 42 days!!  I am sooo proud of you, I hope you're proud, too.

I remember being where your sister is. Most likely your quitting has her feeling nervous and defensive, whether she realizes it or not.  The fear and certainty that we are not able to quit (addictive lies!!) is so strong at times, that we have to pretend smoking is what we want, and a lot of people will say and do whatever it takes to make themselves feel justified in smoking.... and to make a quitter come back to the fold.

My bestest friend is like that. Next time you're talking to your sis, you could just drop little things like  "haha sometimes i forget that i don't need to run out to the store to make sure i have enough cigs to last through the night. talk about feeling free!"  That's what I do with my best friend. No speaches, just the occassional "Oh, it feels so good that I don't have to stand in the cold"   LOL, or an occassional comment about how smelly your hair and fabric softener is!  Or how much time you have to do fun things now that your not inhaling poison.  I don't mean all in one day LOL My point (its taken forever to find it here) is, I've stopped saying negative things about smoking, but instead mention positive things I'm experiencing because of not smoking. Wow, it took me forever to say that... sorry!

Wow, you are so moving forward with this healthier lifestyle! Good for you!

[lois13]

congrats on day 42, stay quit and you will run that 5k.

[Dakota_Posse]

Kudos to you LeAnn!!  Even if your sister never comes around.....YOU know the truth and you know how good you feel now!!!!  As smokers, we were good at denial.....SO glad we don't have to do that anymore!

Congrats & keep us updated on the 5K training!!!

Cindy

[Jose14]

I know how you feel. I have a brother who smokes, and Ive tried to talk him into quitting but Ive been unsuccessful about it. Atleast he wants to try. Ill give him that.

Congrats on day 42 by the way! You've come a long way from day One. You should feel proud.

[Danno_11-10-12]

I guarantee you have planted the seed that sis will consider quitting smoking.  I am proud and humbled to admit I nudged two friends to quit tobacco and both are winning.  Living by example, not preaching.

[mattie1224]

What an amazing post - I had the exact same view point as your sister but it really is all about perspectice - and once you have the right set of glasses its like the world is completely different - maybe not rose colored glasses but the world certainly sms brighter these days - keep up the great work, and maybe she too will see how great it is to be smoke free - way to go!

[Giulia]

I was reading your blog and thinking, wow, how cool is THAT.  Wish I could do all those things.  And expecting your sister to have the same reaction.  Amazing.  Not to worry.  All you can do is keep setting the beautiful BORING (lol) example you are.  She hasn't a clue.  Hopefully one day she will - before it's too late for her.  Stay beautiful YOU!

[SkyGirl]

Annie, I'm so proud of you that my heart's about to bust! 

Day 42!  Whodathunkit?  Well, IIIII did.  I knew you had it in you to stick with this.

As for your sister?  All you can do is live by example.  If your sister sees the way your life and self-respect and happiness has improved since you quit smoking, then she can't help but begin to think about the things in her own life that could change if she quit.  I like Jordan's approach; occasionally mention the positive things that you have experienced. Keep it low-key.  Just let her watch you blossom.  Let her share in your victory when you run that 5k.

Let her see you loving life without cigarettes.  Love her a lot.  She may not want to discuss it, Annie, but she's watching  .And she IS seeing the change in you.

"You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make him drink".  Just let your sister watch you "drink" the sweet waters of being free from nicotine addiction.  I'll bet my bottom dollar that, sooner or later, you'll find that she's edging closer and closer to quitting.  You can't do it for her.  She has to be ready.  But if you keep that beacon of yours shining brightly, Annie, she'll begin to take note... 

[joyeuxencore]

Your sister's demon is SO threatened by your quit...If she didn't try to make your quit seem BORING or whatever else she could....she would be forced to LOOK at her addiction...Deflection is her only defense and believe me her demon NEEDS defense right now...not to worry...you are so strong and your power of example WILL take place. xo