Well it's been a year since I've quit smoking. There were no fireworks no deeper understandings etc.. I keep thinking to myself what's the big deal it's just another day to struggle against the mental aspect of quitting. The nicotine is long gone but the changing of thought processes takes longer..... at least for me. I have found the second 6 months actually harder then the first. I have had triggers come up that were unplanned for and the excitement for my quit has long worn away. To be honest I am finding myself actually depressed today and feeling very alone. I used to use my smoking to help me cope with my lonliness and over the corse of the year have found other coping techniques but none of them seem to be working today. I won't smoke no chance of that my pets are too important to me I already lost one pet earlier this year because of my second hand smoke I will not do that to another one. I don't want to go back to the place where I was hiding the smell of my cigarettes from my friends and I remember how bad my apartment and car smelled.
Yet somehow I keep thinking that today is supposed to be a special day. I have no idea how I was expecting to feel but it sure wasn't like this.
