I have been visiting the site less often lately, and am not as dependent on it to keep my quit strong-HOWEVER I had a bit of a close call last night and thought it prudent to check in for support. Some of my siblings and I are going to Vegas for my youngest brother's 40th in a few weeks. As I was booking the tickets last night, I had my very first, all-consuming and overwhelming desire to SMOKE since my quit. What???? Why now???? I guess it was the trigger? I mean- c'mon! Vegas is THE TOWN to smoke in, and as I visualized myself sitting at my favorite game (video poker), I could almost feel the smoke coming in and out of my lungs as I played hand after hand at incredible speeds. I always loved the lack of inhibition to smoke that is only in Vegas. It was the only place I could chain smoke with abandon and not even care if the smoke curled around the air space of the person next to me. The more I visualized my trip, the stronger the urge. I know for a fact that if I had stashed a cigarette somewhere in the house, I would DEFINITELY have smoked it last night! I searched through drawers, coat pockets, and trash cans in the garage. OH MY GOD-THE ADDICT WAS BACK!!! Scary and humbling. Thank God it was late and I could not quite justify a trip to the store that late. At least my addict had lost some of its power. Word to the wise- don't get too cocky! This too shall pass, but I am now wondering if Vegas is such a good idea after all........maybe not!
