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Share your quitting journey

81 days ago

linkinkohl02
Member
3 17 166

September 1, 2018, I smoked my last cigarette, and I'm doing okay

I still feel a little bit like something is missing, but that feeling only hits when I'm doing something out of my normal routine. Which, right now, is going to happen a lot because of the holidays (I freaking hate the holidays, so this will be fun). Other observations:

1. I haven't noticed food tasting better or worse. It tastes exactly the same, so that's kind of a bummer.

2. My breathing is still labored at times. It's rare, but happens. I read prior to quitting and early on in my quit that this can happen, so it's not something unexpected or that scares me.

3. I'm still irritable, but I think it's the amount of stupid I am forced to handle vs. the amount of stupid I can actually handle. It could also just be mental boredom mixed with depression because I don't want to do anything about it yet.

4. There is one thing that I've noticed, and I know I'm not the only one who experiences it - but I'm the only one in my circle who does, so that's kind of fun. I feel like a superhero who has a weird superpower. I can tell when someone's smoked. They... smell... AWFUL. I have a co-worker who apparently smokes constantly, because it just radiates off of him. I also noticed at our annual Friendsgiving dinner on Saturday that the waitress would disappear saying she was getting something but she'd come back smelling like a stale cigarette. The more powerful the smell, the more recent the cigarette. I can smell it on my social smoker husband hours after he's smoked.

5. I still have no desire to get back to my hobbies, so I sit on my phone and surf the web. I'll get back to them in due time.

6. Weight gain is definitely a thing, but it's not completely out of control and I'm trying to be smart about what I'm doing. I just have to stay on track!

7. I am breaking out like a teenager. This is not something I've read about as a side effect but I'm hoping this is temporary, or maybe even because of the changes I've gone through/lotions I have to use post-surgery.

Speaking of surgery, I know some will be wondering. I'm healing! I still look like Frankenstein's monster, but the pain is almost gone. I did have a hole open up about three weeks ago, about the size of a nickel, but I finally got some help from my doctor after calling him out for blaming any openings on my having smoked almost 3 months ago. Now, I'm pretty much healed.

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81 days and counting

1299.18 cigarettes not smoked

$534.62 saved since September 1

1.jpgOctober 31

Tags (2)
17 Comments
bacardigirl
Member

Congrats!

I hope you know how amazing that is to be smoke free that long! Keep on doing what your doing and remember, in reference to #3, you can't fix stupid;)

JonesCarpeDiem

Congratulations!

Have you had a day where you realized you didn't think of smoking once the day before?

linkinkohl02
Member

Honestly, I'm not sure! Now that the season is changing, I feel the urge more than I had before. Last month I hardly thought of it at all. Now with it getting cold and already having to drive through one snow storm or waiting for the car to warm up, I have more of an urge. But, I'm enjoying breathing! 🙂

linkinkohl02
Member

If we could fix stupid, many of us wouldn't have jobs! LOL And thank you 😉

Chuck-2-20-2011

I'm glad you're staying safe and CONGRATULATIONS on your success!! And you're right! A lot of things do change when we quit. To be honest, I never noticed a difference in the taste of food either, and I gained some weight as well. As I suspected, all of that weight is now gone. The fact that you can smell odors better is actually one of the positives of quitting. And you DO have a super power and it's called FREEDOM! You may not appreciate it so much now, because it's in the background but you will! There's a lot of positive in a quit too. It just takes us a little time to see it. 

 Mainly I just wanted to congratulate you on keeping your commitment to yourself!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

bacardigirl
Member

True enough:)

linkinkohl02
Member

Thank you, Chuck! Most of all, I don't want to have a Day 1 ever again! 😉

JonesCarpeDiem

Look for it.  I just planted the thought.

I had my first one of those days right around where you are. 

Once they start there is a change. They will become more frequent and you will be looking forward to the next one.

linkinkohl02
Member

I sure hope so! I'm much less vocal about wanting one, but feeling it inside, I haven't noticed as of yet.

elvan
Member

You WILL and it just might surprise you when it comes.  I know it did for me because it was a TERRIBLE day and one I would have smoked my brains out on in the past.  Changes...like seasons and holidays can bring out all kinds of feelings.  You are doing an AMAZING job and PLEASE remember that we are here and that we all want to help you in any way that we can.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Ellen

linkinkohl02
Member

Thanks, Ellen. I read your blog post from two days ago, about the fire. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'd do. You, my friend, are a fighter.

JonesCarpeDiem

My first one shocked me too, and I'll be honest, much of my dread lifted that day but, it was not until I found a study at about day 105, that said 16 weeks was magical.  (Well, not magical, it said if you went 16 weeks you had a very good shot at success)

"Well heck, that's only two weeks away," I thought to myself.

Three weeks later I was driving up the hill to a job I had worked on while I was a smoker and I reached for that ghost pack on my truck seat.

It was right then I knew I was done. I laughed.

elvan
Member

Thank you for that...I don't think we ever know what we can endure until it happens.  Once you really accept that smoking doesn't help anything...it really helps recovery to build.

I do believe that you've got this.  Don't underestimate yourself...I think that what what you have already endured is amazing.  

I will ALWAYS have shortness of breath and I am really sorry to say that it sometimes throws me into a full blown panic.  I have to MAKE myself calm down and there are times when I simply CAN'T.  That's terrifying and certainly enough to take away any desire to smoke. Like you, I can smell a smoker from a LONG ways away.

I am really proud of you.

Ellen

linkinkohl02
Member

That's good to know. I had a relaxing night to myself which is a rarity and I found myself thinking back to the times I would take full advantage and smoke my night away. Instead I chose to come on here and blog.  

linkinkohl02
Member

I think to myself a lot about how smoking won't help, that it creates another stress instead of relieving. My uncle and my father in law have COPD, so I understand what you mean. My uncle has breathing treatments. My father in law is on oxygen - but doesn't take care of himself or how COPD otherwise. 

I hope you have a good Thanksgiving, Ellen. I hope your husband's eyes are doing better too! 

Barbscloud
Member

Congratulations on your 81 days.   I've noticed thing about smoking more recently.   I'm sure it's the change of seasons and my first holidays approaching without smoking.

Barb

indingrl
Member

CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB!

About the Author
Let's see... My name is Jade, and I am 34 years old. I am happily married, no children, just fur babies. I am going through this journey by myself in the real world. My husband is a social smoker - he can put them down just as easily as he can pick them up, and doesn't seem to go through the same struggles. He also works third shift, so I see him about 2 hours a day. I love history, I love music, I love art. I love knowledge, which is what prompted me to come on this site. I have been too afraid to take the quit leap for over a year, but never too afraid to research everything I could about it. Now, because I am having surgery, I'm being made to quit and I'd like for it to be a happy quit. A permanent quit. The right quit. 9/1/18 is what feels like my 900th time quitting.