If someone would have told me 78 days ago that I would be this far into quitting smoking I would have told them they may be smokin something besides tobacco. Well, honestly 80ish days ago I had a discussion with my daughter that went something like this.......
(sitting on her front deck, drinking coffee and smoking cigarette after cigarette discussing world problems my health came up) I told her I had noticed the last year especially I had almost totally removed myself from family functions. If she and her dad took our granddaughter somewhere I stayed home. If they went to the park, I stayed home. If they went to the mall, I stayed home. Pretty much anything that required walking any distance at all I stayed away from. While sitting on her deck smoking I also had coughing fit after coughing fit from a respitory infection. When the coughing got bad enough I went in and drank some cough syrup then went right back to smoking.
It dawned on me then that when we got back to our house I would go to the doctor and talk to them about these miracle quit smoking pills I had heard so much about. I didn't need the pills, a good scare works much better as a quitting tool.
For years (at least 2 or 3) I had TRIED to hide from my husband and family the effects smoking was having on me. I found out recently the only one I fooled was myself. (what a dork I was) I would get so out of breath doing the simplest of things I just would avoid doing those things while someone was around me. I would go into the bathroom and cough into a towel trying not to let anyone hear me.
A smart person would have thrown out those cigarettes years ago when this first started effecting them... not me. I was determined.
Anyway long story short... I quit and am now a non smoker of 77 days. I have very few triggers left I think. We have buried 2 of our friends, I am in the process of a divorce, I was diagnosed with a life altering disease due to smoking and poor judgement. All of this within those 77 days. So I figure as far as excuses go I had a few I could have pulled out. The only one I would hurt would have been myself though.
SO..... for you people who have excuses to continue smoking due to upcoming stressful situations... or for those of you who use stress to start smoking again... PFFTTTTT. That's just weakness. Put the damn things down already and get on with your life.
It's like that saying I used to hear about having children. If everyone who wanted children waited until they could afford them, no one would ever have any children.
If everyone who wanted to quit smoking waited for a stress free life no one would ever quit smoking. There will always be an excuse to light up. Don't fall for that. Set your mind to it and do it.
LoL, for my friends who have wondered how I am doing. Can you tell???? I seem to be a little pissy.
It's the mourning process I think I am going through. First your sad about the situation, then numb and finally I am just pissed.
I do so appreciate everyones kindness and thoughts. This site is really so wonderful and the friends I have made are true friends.
Monday or Tuesday the divorce will be final. It has been mentioned to me I may want to hire an attorney to help me with the Social Security office. I have already been denied once back in July and god knows so much has changed since then. I will keep you all posted. Sorry I haven't left messages for you. I do pop in and read how you are all doing and comment when I can't keep my fingers to themselves, but I really didn't want to leave messages when I just want to cuss. LOL Take care and hopefully soon I can come back and be fairly calm again.
