How many times have I been at this stage of the game? A few. It is a little hard to get too terribly exicted, but the fact that I woke up this morning knowing that I did not have a cigarette yesterday sure beats how it would feel knowing that I had caved in and smoked. What a sinking feeling that is...believe me I know that feeling well. I guess it would be kind of like a recovering alcoholic waking up from a binge after so many days of sobriety. That moment when you first wake up everything is still rosy, then the realization hits you...BAM! I Blew It! Oh the shame, oh the guilt, and then the mind starts working on rationalizations and coverup plots. How will I tell my family and make it look like not such a bad thing? Maybe I can just smoke in secret and then quit again...the subterfuge, the deceit, the denial.
When I put it in this context, maybe I should be pretty darn excited after all. I don't have to go through all that today. I made it through yesterday and knowing that makes it clear to me that I can make it through today as well. How joyous is that? Hmmm...I think I will got out and get a pedicure! 🙂
